A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So here's the deal. I was going out with this girl for a while (about 2 years) and things didn't end so well. It has been 3 years now since we have seen each other. The odd thing though is that we have talked about every other month or so since then. She is now talking to me about every other day. She says things like she misses the time we used to spend together and that she thinks about things we did often and misses them or things that make her laugh. She is telling me all this but she is also engaged to someone right now. I'm not sure what is going on at this point. She says she wants to get together again but always has something else going on. I just want to know what is going on here? Is she still interested in me or is she just playing? I try to ask questions about that and she just avoids the question or doesn't respond. I also want to say that we broke up because she cheated. Is she interested in trying again with me, having second thoughts about getting engaged, looking for that one last fling, or just messing with me. Those are the only 4 options that I could come up with.
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male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (18 September 2011):
 You will struggle to get a straight answer to this one, from her at least, because I think even if you asked her point blank, she wouldn't know. My guess is that she obviously still has feelings for you, is being sincere in what she is saying, but obviously rather unwisely has got herself caught in a 'bounce relationship' and feels bad on him, she probably even cares for him too. Why she won't meet you is simple. She knows how she feels and she is worried one thing will lead to another if you did meet.
I don't think shes messing with you, if she was messing with you, she would just take what she wants and have done with it. I think you talking has stirred alot of feelings she thought she had lost and that is causing alot of inner turmoil. What you need to ask yourself is are you still interested in her, I am guessing from this that you actually are, but there is precious little you can do about it. You can drop hints, when she says she misses something, you can reciprocate and say 'ye me too' and talk about your own memories fondly, you could say 'im still here for you/care for you' etc as well but other than that there is little you can do, other than wait for her to make her choice. Good luck :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2011): I think she must still have feelings for you and I think she is comparing you to her current lover.....I have a hunch that you were more fun to be with...and there maybe a little doubt in her mind as to who she really wants....but remember....love hurts....if you were to end up back together...would she hurt you again...you obviously still have strong feelings for this girl...hearts are delicate things when it comes to relationships....Protect your heart.....put out a little bait...see how she bites...but dont get hooked more....not just yet....Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 Hi,I am confused too, only she has the answers to your questions. It's has been 3 years since you broken up. Forget her!!! If you want to continue being "friends" it's up to you. But, I would never trust her again. First of all, you ended your relationship because she cheated on you. Shows her morals, character, integrity, and values. Also, people that cheat are selfish. What I don't like about what she's doing now is that she's engaged. She tells you that she misses you, etc. I am happy that you still in contact with her, that you are friends now, BUT the kind of conversations she has with you are not friendly conversations. It's unappropriated the way she talks to you. I am not a jealous kind of person, don't mind if partners have friends opposite gender, but depends on the friendship, and conversation, and definitely she has cross he line with you. She's emotionally cheating on her fiancé. Also, giving you false hope. Maybe, real hope, who knows? People make mistakes, cheat, but some people are really remorseful and chance. I guess your ex still the same, and I guess it's in her blood, and she will never change. I dont know your truth feelings for her, not sure what you want or expect from her, but I know it's difficult to accept the fact that someone you love is not a trustworthy person. Whatever you decide, whatever happens between the you and her, just know that she's not honest. She did to you, doing to her fiancé now, who knows what's going to happen to you if you get back together?Good luck
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