A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and though we've come close I always stop myself from getting too intimate. I can't seem to get comfortable enough to let him see my body or even touch me sometimes. The worst part is I've had cyber sex a lot before with random strangers but with him I can't seem to do anything. I don't know what to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): fear of intimacy. You may need to help to find out why. A good therapist can help you with that.
A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Well I think the issue here is that you feel more comfortable having cyber-sex because its 'at arms length' so to speak. Its a way enough away from you for you to feel comfortable, after-all its only random you are chatting too from heaven knows where so your in no real danger of having to actually allow somebody into your actual physical space. Of course, with your BF its a whole different ball-park and you can't really compare the two things.
Something in your past seems to have made you weary of having intimate contact with somebody who is actually physically there. Maybe you are insecure about your body, maybe somebody has done something to you which has caused this. Whichever way its down to you to address (though your partner should help by being tender and understanding) and get to the bottom of.
It may require a mild form of therapy to actually overcome (counselling springs to mind) or just having somebody you can talk too who will listen and understand what is going on and therefore will provide you with the neutral space you need to vent and overcome eventually your feelings. Don't worry about it or beat yourself up about it, its something that you can overcome and I am sure you will. In the meantime just tell your bf how your feeling and I am sure he will support you. Good luck and take care, I hope that helps :)
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