A
female
age
30-35,
*mylee16610
writes:Hey So my boyfriend lives a long way away and he travels up to see me every weekend nearly, and im so in love with him.there was one night at the pub when this girl he knew came in with his step sister, and he'd had alot to drink but he just stared at her (she was prettier and thinner than me) and i was so upset and i just cant forget about it. he was sat right next to me yet was looking at her. now after that happened i keep watching him and getting obsessive over him looking at girls. even girls on the tv i get really upset and wound up, i think why is he looking at others if he loves me so much. please help i dont want to push him away but i cant help feeling like this. i mentioned the girl in the pub and he admitted it and apologised and ssaid it was really wrong and he shouldn't have done it ....
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Hunny I think that this is an insecurity within yourself. You feel that the girls he is looking at are better than you in some way. If he did not love you, he would not be with you. Talk to him and tell him that staring is hurtful and for him to be more considerate of your feelings BUT at the same time work on yourself by building your self confidence and self image. TOO MANY couples are destroyed by jealousy...its needless Good luck xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): All guys look at other girls, but staring at them is a different matter. Tell him how it made you feel, and he shouldn't be staring at them it is disrespectful to you and just plain rude to the other girl. As for just looking, and I mean just noticing them, accept that this happens, it doesn't reflect on his feelings for you.As for women on TV, my brother's girlfriend got jealous over that, and they almost broke up because of her jealousy of it. I will tell you what I told her, He is with you, and yeah he might fantasize over some woman on Tv, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. And do you really think if by some miracle he ever got to meet one of them he would actually chose them over you. No, because you are real and they are playing fictional characters. Don't lose someone you love over something so silly, they are on tv, and after all tv is all about entertainment and fantasies. If you continue, you will push him away, have some trust and work on your insecurities and be honest with him.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Hmmm well what he did initially was wrong and disrespectful to you; im inclined to think gawking at people who you pass in the street is similarly bad form. People notice attractive people but that is no excuse to leer, leering is something apart from noticing I would say. Having said all this, I also think you have to be careful with the TV thing - with that your in realms of fantasy and everybody has fantasy.
What we need to do here is start judging objectively and you need to start sticking up for yourself *where he is wrong* - so, if he does like he did at the pub then tell him your annoyed, tell him why, and tell him how it makes you feel. Your letting this behaviour of his make you feel worthless when he should be making you feel priceless. If he cant hack you speaking up for yourself and creates over this then I think its time to call it a day. I really think you can do better than this anyway to be honest at the end of the day, if you are feeling this then ultimately this guy isnt right for you anyway because he cant give you what you need. So, only try the above if you really feel you have too, otherwise bin him off. Good luck:)
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A
male
reader, FLIPPER66  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 if this is the case just give him this rule
you can look but no touch rule. if he touches he's history in your book. but say you reserve the right to do the same as well . whoa if he likes you he'll cut back on his looking at other girls . especially if you start looking at other guys longingly(not saying actually longingly but make it appear so) he'll most likely stop.
if he doesn't he's sporting jerk type behavior and maybe not worth your time to start out with. just my humble opinion.
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