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... Send *aria-consuela a private message | | | *aria-consuela's profile:I live in Hamilton, Ontario - Canada.
I love to learn, read, write anything new - I like to map uncharted territory and pick the brain of anyone who is willing.
I like things that aren't obvious, a little bit interesting, maybe covered up, possibly mysterious.
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Should I be supportive and let him work out what he wants by himself? Or should I just walk away?
Q. I'm in a very strange situation - I met a guy a few weeks ago, went on a date with him, had a great time. since meeting him, he's called me every day, and we went out a couple of more times, and ended the dates with a kiss and a hug. He then got ...
A. 19 December 2010: Unfortunately I think that at this point a relationship with this man might be a non-issue.
Men tell you where they stand, and usually we change the message or format it to fit what we would like from them.
He said he values your friendsh... (read in full...)
My girlfriend blames me for her insecurity issues!
Q. Hey, Dearcupid. My girlfriend gets really self conscious sometimes and it seems to be an all-consuming thing. She loses touch of reality and becomes obsessed with how she looks. Despite her being only 5'1, and 43kg's she thinks she is fat and "...
A. 14 December 2010: It isn't your fault, it has nothing to do with you.
You must realize that you have no control over the way she feels about her weight, her images of herself and self-perception are internal (mental) and possibly driven from some emotional trau... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: Sex on the first date a majority of the time will negate any type of relationship developing.
Women excrete oxytocin during intercourse or other physical acts, while men will only experience this "Love chemical" when there is a closeness, a bond... (read in full...)
How can I change my taste in men so I stop getting hurt?
Q. i have been in one bad relationship after another, i can't seem to break the cycle! i don't know if there is something wrong with me that i'm attracted to these same type of men but they are all alike. how can i turn my tastes to a different sort so ...
A. 14 December 2010: This was a tough one for me for many years, so I emphathize with your plight.
For me I have found the only solution to be expecting more from yourself, developing your own skills and attributes - and not looking so much for approval from any man.... (read in full...)
How do I let him down gently? I don't want to be his mistress!
Q. Since I have been single from and on and off again replationship, I met a guy an older man that happens to be married. I should have known from the start that I shouldnt get involved with him from when I met him and my girlfrends gave me a little ...
A. 14 December 2010: Let him down easy? The man is married and actively pursuing you, you have zero reason to feel like you have to be gentle in explaining to him your point of view.
I would say that at this point being his friend is a bad idea. You said yourself... (read in full...)
I sent him pictures of me in my underwear and now he is not talking to me! Should I wait for him or move on?
Q. Okay, So i am in 8th grade. About 3 months ago i was talking to a freshman (9th grade) that i really liked. He had dated some of the hottest girls in school so i felt like i was dreaming, no i couldnt really be talking to him. He was sweet and ...
A. 14 December 2010: Move on!
And please don't ever feel like you have to send a boy racy pictures of yourself in order to please him. I know it may have seemed like a great way to get him interested but the truth is, it is YOU (Your personality, your sense of humo... (read in full...)
Pain still there a month after toying
Q. hi i hurt my rectum during toying almost a month ago , and i think there is a minor tear (a ver scratch on my ass) and it hurts when i use the bathroom the pain is mild . what should i do please guide me Thanks...
A. 14 November 2010: The lining in the anus is very thin, which makes it much more prone to infection and irritation - especially when it has been cut or damaged.
You have stated that you are in pain - and that is reason enough to go to a doctor.
It isn't a risk you... (read in full...)
I can't stop this flirting!
Q. my problem is that i can't stop flirting with my colleagues, sometimes i get good response and sometimes bad. i keep falling in flirting thing, even though i'm not interested in sexual relation, i don't want and i didn't ask for any kind of rela...
A. 14 November 2010: There is only something wrong with flirting, if you feel like you have gotten a response that indicates you have taken it too far, or if you feel like you may be flirting because you are attracted to someone that you are trying to illicit a response ... (read in full...)
I'm a girl who'd rather watch tv than have sex. How do I get him to be passionate???
Q. my bf and I have been dating for 3 years. Lately I'd rather watch tv than have sex. He's the one who says he wants to do it, but he expects me to instigate it since he pays the rent. I want music in the background and he could care less. How do I ...
A. 14 November 2010: I can understand why his determinance of your responsibility in the bedroom via his payment for rent is the furthest thing from sexy.
It is hard when a relationship gets into a deadlock because both parties seem to be frustrated and unwilling to c... (read in full...)
What is the deal with women and high heels??
Q. I really wanna know the answer to this question especially from females - Do you females really like wearing sexy high heeled shoes or do you do it only for attention. I have heard of shoe fetish but I dont know how far it is true. Does it also have ...
A. 14 November 2010: High heels have a different purpose for different women -
For me personally, being shorter - I like the fact that my legs and body are lengthened - I feel more graceful, stronger, and more powerful. I have a pair of shoes for every mood, day or n... (read in full...)
I'm torn on whether or not I should divorce my alcoholic husband.
Q. I'm torn on whether or not I should divorce my husband. A year ago, pill popping and alcohol abuse led to him physically abusing me. I called the police (later dropping the charges) and left the house for two months and got some therapy. I went ...
A. 14 November 2010: You cannot make him get better, you cannot make him see what he is doing is wrong.
My ex husband was an alcoholic. We all think when we come in to contact with an alcoholic or addict that their behaviour is comparable to those who aren't affl... (read in full...)
Close pictures with other girls, acceptable?
Q. Just wondering when photos of your boyfriend close with other girls (as in faces touching close) becomes unacceptable? Is it normal drinking behaviour for guys to go out and take close pictures, or is it a sign of something more? I have asked that ...
A. 14 November 2010: I think it is fairly normal for pictures to be taken during nights out drinking, and if the group is a mix of men and women then both will likely be present in one or more of the pictures.
How often is your boyfriend going out for these type of nigh... (read in full...)
B cup size, will they get any bigger?
Q. Well, thisnis kinda embarrassing but I'm 13 years old and I want to know if my breasts will get bigger. Cause they are like a B now but I would like them to be a little bigger. What do you think???...
A. 11 November 2010: A woman's breast size can change throughout her life for a number of different reasons. Don't worry about it at 13 - you have several years to develop, and if it so happens that you don't grow larger breasts, that's okay too. Breasts of all... (read in full...)
I'm ready for my kiss!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating since the 5th of november . I'm ready to kiss him , butt I'm not sure how to . I've never had my first kiss and he's shorter than me , which just adds to the butterflies . I really think I love him . can someone ...
A. 8 November 2010: A great first kiss is never really planned or suggested - it is spontaneous and excting.
You will get your kiss, and it will happen when it is meant to happen. If you want to let him know subtlely that you would like him to kiss you at some poin... (read in full...)
Sneaking around dating the professor, but I hate secrets!
Q. I'm 33 and I just went on a date with my 38 year old professor. It's against school policy. Should I sneek around and risk him getting fired or back off? We text everyday constantly and we really like each other. I offered to drop out of that school ...
A. 8 November 2010: I have had a similar experience, and I understand how frustrating it can be when you feel strongly about someone but are not able to act on it fully, or be publically affectionate and open. You do need to graduate. You may feel like it would be... (read in full...)
I put so much into this relationship but he broke up with me because he wanted to try other girls!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf broke up with me yesterday, said like he got bored with me and wanted to try other girls. I am feeling depressed and i feel like i am worthless or something. I tried too hard and put too much into this relationship, i couldn...
A. 8 November 2010: This is really never a nice thing to hear, or be on the receiving end of but I feel like you can spin this in a positive way. Yes, he wanted to play the field - but hypothetically you could have continued a relationship with him and he could ha... (read in full...)
My bf broke up with me because he said he was getting too attached to me!!
Q. Hi My bf broke up with me today saying like he is getting more involved and attached to me which is affecting his other things in life. So he wants to break up. How can he say like this, i can see we are prefect for each other. We literally comple...
A. 8 November 2010: It is possible that he has a fear of commitment or intimacy, that he has been hurt in the past and is protecting himself from vulnerability by rejecting a relationship that he feels may hurt him in the long run. Being commitment-phobic is fairly n... (read in full...)
Why did a good girl allow sex so easily?
Q. I met this lovely 20 year old girl through her sister, a co-worker. I took her out to the movies just once, and then did not see her for a month. We kept in touch. When we met again we went to a secluded place where we talked about her dreams...
A. 5 November 2010: As most have answered this question is pretty sexist and the background story does nothing to improve that assessment. So, let me get this straight: You met a girl through a friend, you spent some time with her, talked about her dreams, tickled ... (read in full...)
I judge my friend and her lack of morals. Does that make me a jerk?
Q. I know a girl who I became friends with. She works as a model and is staying here on a visa. I am in graphics and I made her a Web site for free as a favor. In the course of this Web site, I found out she has a past--and a present, too. Ab...
A. 5 November 2010: I think the reason you are being so tough on her is deeper than you realize. I dont think you have the right to judge her for her past or present, because you arent in a relationship with her that is romantic. I also dont think you should ever beg... (read in full...)
How important are blow jobs in a relationship?
Q. Gentlemen, Guys, thank you for your time. Thesis research your age/months-years in relationship, please. On a scale of 1 to 10 how important are blowjobs in a serious relationship? Is it preferred to regular sex? Do you consider it an act of love ...
A. 5 November 2010: They are important if they are done right.. lol. But honestly, I am not a male but I can tell you with assurance that in my past relationships I have never run into a man who was against the idea of a blowjob. A blowjob to most men means comple... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for not wanting my girlfriend to have guy friends
Q. Am i crazy for not wanting my girlfriend to have guy friends. she told me before that she doesnt want guy friends but she recently decided that she wants to start haging out with guys. she thinks i dont trust her but i do. We've been together 5 ...
A. 5 November 2010: Crazy.. No.
Unrealistic and shortsighted, possibly. The fact that she felt the need to ask your permission to have male friends is kind of silly. If you met a female and you enjoyed her company in a platonic way - would you change your opinion or r... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this to me? He told me he'd never cheat on her
Q. I'm pretty confused and fed up right now. I liked this guy for quite a while, we've even slept together in the past but that turned out to be a complete disaster as, yes you guessed it, he didn't want the same thing i did. So, i stopped sleeping ...
A. 5 November 2010: Unfortunately this guy seems like a real jerk, and I feel like you had the right idea to begin with.
He is manipulating you and your feelings, trying to prove to himself that you are still available to him at his discretion.
The fact that he would... (read in full...)
Shaving down below, help
Q. I've been going to a spa where i get my monthly wax down here but now it ran out of business and i need to know if any of you girls know a tech on shaving down there?...
A. 5 November 2010: There really is no surefire technique or trick to shaving your area that will guarantee no razor burn, cuts or a perfect job.
Either way if you haven't shaved previously you will most likely get some shaving bumps and possibly some small cuts. This... (read in full...)
We never have time together anymore.
Q. Hello i have been with my bf for close to a year. We are both nearly 22. Recently i have been feeling some pressure on the relationship as he never seems to have any time for me. We both work full time and then when it comes to weekends, if his...
A. 4 November 2010: No, you aren't asking too much. You aren't being demanding, you aren't causing problems.
Essentially you are telling your signifigant other that you would like to spend more time with him and that you enjoy his company.
It seems as if he has time... (read in full...)
Is he missing something in his marriage or just bored?
Q. Why would a married man seek attention outside of his home. He has beautiful children, gorgeous wife and great career. However i believe he is trying to pursue a relationship with me by calling me and texting men all of the time. He does not live ...
A. 3 November 2010: It could be a number of things.
He could be bored, and have a short attention span, an inability to maintain longterm relationships based on an intimacy problem.
He could have a sex addiction, or a love addiction. He could be attention hungry, ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my feelings I still have for my ex?
Q. it's been almost 2 years since me and my ex broked up. she found someone new and so did i, i have been with my current girlfriend for a year and a half already but i still haven't got over my ex. me and my ex got into many arguements after we broked ...
A. 3 November 2010: You need to make a decision. It is normal to have fond feelings for an ex if a break up isn't particularly turbulent or if it was practical and mutual. It isn't normal to think about your ex often and be preoccupied with her whereabouts and her ... (read in full...)
How can I feel confident when guys clearly want something I'm not?
Q. I find it very hard to feel confident in myself. I can't help but notice that most guys my age (and even older, who you'd think would be more mature) think that plastic, fake looking women are "perfect". I see it countless times on Facebook, blogs, ...
A. 3 November 2010: On a side note, sometimes imperfection is what makes us different, unique and very sexy.
Science tells us that symmetry and proportion is what is most aesthetically pleasing to us on a subconscious level. But some of the most notable and most beau... (read in full...)
How can I feel confident when guys clearly want something I'm not?
Q. I find it very hard to feel confident in myself. I can't help but notice that most guys my age (and even older, who you'd think would be more mature) think that plastic, fake looking women are "perfect". I see it countless times on Facebook, blogs, ...
A. 2 November 2010: It is tough to be stuck in a world that in many respects praises and idolizes a female form or aesthetic that for 90% of the population is unnatainable. That being said, I think you are your biggest critic.
Confidence is the sexiest item in your... (read in full...)
I'm like a zombie...think I lost my girlfriend!
Q. Ok Guys I need some serious help. I met this girl off a free online dating website about 3 months ago. She is the girl of my dreams, she's what I've wanted my entire life. There is a lot to this so I'll keep it as brief as possible. I'm 28 and she's ...
A. 2 November 2010: Well, realistically it sounds like a great learning experience. You have closure, you know what to do to move on. You are already feeling better, and sound like you have a good grasp on the situation and have made a great final assessment. It is ... (read in full...)
Is my logic here correct?
Q. Recently I has a conversation with the man I've been involved with for quite some time. The topic was as to why he disappears for extended periods of time for no apparent reason. The end result was him telling me that when things got too emotiona...
A. 30 October 2010: Yes, I agree with Aunt Honesty here. I think it is a great thing that you want to delve deeper and unearth the psychological make up of your sig. other, but the whole situation does seem very centered around him.
Has he apologized to you, tried to a... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: As much as alot of decisions you have made are poorly thought out and shortsighted, feeling that you have fallen for someone who is unnavailable doesn't make you a bad person.
While you may consider the fact that it takes two to wreck a home, and ... (read in full...)
What's been your experience with the morning-after pill?
Q. I had to take the Plan B emergency contraceptive this morning after a condom slipped with my boyfriend last night and I had forgot to take my birth control. I have read that it is 85% effective and am just curious if anyone has had experiences with ...
A. 28 October 2010: It isn't neccesarily a 'cure all', but it is effective when taken as early as possible in that 72 hour window. Some experience side effects that are much more severe - some experience none at all. It is like anything, really.
I have a friend who ... (read in full...)
He tried to hit me and then spit in my face!
Q. Here's the thing, We had a argument which lead to him trying to physically throw me out, and then when i started to fight back he spit on my face. I love him but i feel like he went too far and now i don't think i can stay with him. He said sorry ...
A. 28 October 2010: Please do not stay around and wait for this to escalate. I dealt with sporadic bouts of a similar type of abuse throughout my entire marriage. Spitting in the face, pushing someone out the door with force, water poured on you while your sleep... (read in full...)
Jealously to a whole new level
Q. Me and my Girlfriend have been actively in a relationship for a little over 2 years now. However we have expirenced a few problems in the relationship. The main of which being after a drunken text on my part to the wrong party, she has completely ...
A. 28 October 2010: Jealousy is learned and taught. This seems like insecurity to me, and something that you probably can't fix.
Sit down with her and discuss the way you feel. Tell her that you know that you've had issues with trust in the past and that you made a mi... (read in full...)
I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me
Q. ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...
A. 28 October 2010: I feel like you have every right to your feelings, and the fact that you are asking more of this relationship may feel warranted because of the time put in. But unfortunately time does not equate to intimacy, and sometimes even spending time with ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship last?
Q. hi! am 23 years old, dating a 45 year old. he is married having three kids, his relationship with his wife is complicated. the wife left him with kids and went back to her home. the man is struggling so hard to raise the kids. will our ...
A. 26 October 2010: The fact that he is older aside, and the fact that he is going through one of the toughest times he'll ever go through in his life aside also - do you really want to be taking on a situation with this many landmines?
Even if he does end up with you,... (read in full...)
Why did my 'f-ck buddy' suddenly turn off?
Q. i have a fuck buddy and i told him i thought as him as a friend and that i didnt know if i needed that cause friendship leads to relationship. then i relized he is not going to be here but couple more weeks and he will be out of the state and with ...
A. 25 October 2010: Unfortunately, as tennisstar states - FWB don't often lead to relationships.
Once you have establishment those set parameters - no commitment, no responsibility - just sex..
It is tough to convince the other party that now they should put time... (read in full...)
He did something that disgusted me! Should I call this all off?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about seven months. He doesn't want to call it a 'relationship', saying he likes 'the way we are'. So I'm already a little put off... The other night though, we'd been having a lot of fun in bed (we have GREAT sex), af...
A. 25 October 2010: I think you are probably more upset about him "not wanting to call it a relationship", and the money shot was the last straw.
Feeling uneasy in your relationship, can be unsettling. Thinking that your partner doesn't feel as strongly as you do, ... (read in full...)
I like a 40 y/o man and I am 17...what are the chances?
Q. I met a man in a chat room on July of this year. We didn't talk much in pm but when we did, I was mostly seeking his advice on something. I always showed a certain interest in the cat room because I liked his personality. Not once had I seen his ...
A. 25 October 2010: It isn't that the age is such a major issue in this situation, it is more a case in weighing pros and cons.
Do you really know this man well enough to risk a relationship strain with your mother? Do you know him and care about him enough to deal... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this after a year?
Q. Thanks in advance for reading! First, some back story-- a year ago, I was in a FWB/ casual dating type situation with this guy, we'll call him X. After about six weeks, I ended things with him, and started a serious relationship with another guy, A, ...
A. 23 October 2010: It could be a number of things, really.
X could feel like his ego is bruised. Maybe during your FWB situation he harboured more romantic feelings for you and felt that you reciprocated these feelings. Maybe he felt you were progressing towards more... (read in full...)
I'm like a zombie...think I lost my girlfriend!
Q. Ok Guys I need some serious help. I met this girl off a free online dating website about 3 months ago. She is the girl of my dreams, she's what I've wanted my entire life. There is a lot to this so I'll keep it as brief as possible. I'm 28 and she's ...
A. 17 October 2010: Everything heals in time. Time and space - let life happen, make choices to benefit you, and do things you love and that you are great at.
In time you will start to feel normal again.
Even the tiniest crush/infatuation stings when you lose it, for ... (read in full...)
I'm like a zombie...think I lost my girlfriend!
Q. Ok Guys I need some serious help. I met this girl off a free online dating website about 3 months ago. She is the girl of my dreams, she's what I've wanted my entire life. There is a lot to this so I'll keep it as brief as possible. I'm 28 and she's ...
A. 16 October 2010: Be strong, set your standards and make sure they are firm and not moved.
If she decides to get into contact with you and you feel it is too soon for you, and that you need a little time - take it. That is your right.
A majority of your relation... (read in full...)
I'm like a zombie...think I lost my girlfriend!
Q. Ok Guys I need some serious help. I met this girl off a free online dating website about 3 months ago. She is the girl of my dreams, she's what I've wanted my entire life. There is a lot to this so I'll keep it as brief as possible. I'm 28 and she's ...
A. 16 October 2010: I think starting to date right now might be a good distraction but nothing more. Do yourself a favour and don't jump into another relationship cause you'll likely be putting some poor soul through being an ex substitute and she'll end up not being ... (read in full...)
I'm like a zombie...think I lost my girlfriend!
Q. Ok Guys I need some serious help. I met this girl off a free online dating website about 3 months ago. She is the girl of my dreams, she's what I've wanted my entire life. There is a lot to this so I'll keep it as brief as possible. I'm 28 and she's ...
A. 15 October 2010: The fact that she is beautiful and desirable is wonderful, but if you are so intimidated that you put her on a pedastel you are in trouble.
She seems to be playing alot of games, keeping her options open, being overly envious and jealous - susp... (read in full...)
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