| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm pretty confused and fed up right now. I liked this guy for quite a while, we've even slept together in the past but that turned out to be a complete disaster as, yes you guessed it, he didn't want the same thing i did. So, i stopped sleeping with him. He wanted to stay friends, i half heartedly said that would be ok. He is with someone now, been with her maybe 14 months or so. When he started seeing her i told him us staying in touch wasn't a good idea, i didn't really tell him why, which was him being with her was too hard for me.He managed to change my mind and said that us being friends wouldn't be a problem because he knew that he'd never cheat on her.A few months into his relationship, he starts remenising, bringing up what we used to do together, i ignore it and don't reply.Now, he pretty much said, in not so many words, that he might want to fool around again. I won't do that so that's not an option.Why is he doing this to me? He told me he'd never cheat on her. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Why ?
Because very often what people say and what they actually do is very different !
People do lie, some times. Particularly in view of getting something out of the person they lie to.
If you have reached your age without ever meeting anybody who is able to lie for their own advantage, then you are a very lucky girl.
A
female
reader, Tammy1205  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Hi,
He is doing this because he is a selfish man. He has a girlfriend and wants to mess around with other He doesn't truly care about you or her if he gets in touch with you and mentions hooking up. He doesn't respect her or you. A cheater is a cheater. Good for you for not wanting anything to do with him and being aware of bad behavior. The smartest thing I've ever read on cheating is this, "Cheating isn't about greed. Its about how little the other person means to you." This makes perfect sense. If you have respect for a partner than straying never enters your mind. Because you are putting their feelings in front of your own. I would keep ignoring him, and block his number and delete him from your facebook hun.
...............................
A
female
reader, Maria-consuela  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Unfortunately this guy seems like a real jerk, and I feel like you had the right idea to begin with.
He is manipulating you and your feelings, trying to prove to himself that you are still available to him at his discretion.
The fact that he would insist to you that he can still be friends with you because he wouldn't cheat on his girlfriend is ridiculous. You stopped being friends because you cared about the guy and it upset you to see him with someone else, not because he wasn't worried about cheating.
He didnt treat you well in the beginning of your relationship, and he has continued to be selfish and motivated only by his needs and wants.
Personally I think you should cut off all contact with him, dont let him have the pleasure of your friendship if he abuses it. Dont let him pull you back in to the cycle. Tell him how you feel, that you wont deal with his bs anymore and that you are quite happy not being friends with him if this is the type of friendship that he intends to cultivate.
Good luck with everything. :)
...............................
|
