A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need to ask a question without sounding paranoid!It's to do with my boyfriend and whether his opinions are to benefit me or him.We have been together 5 years and there is complete trust between us. We aren't a jealous couple and neither 1 of us is possessive.I've just been noticing really his comments. I had a fringe/ bangs cut in my hair last year and everyone compliments me on how nice it looks and suits me. Now my bf came across dome pics of us together 2 years ago when my hair was 1 length and said he preferred me without a fringe. Fair enough- his opinion.But other things have happened. He doesn't like me wearing heels. I'm 5ft 3 and he is 5ft8. I asked him if he doesn't like me wearing them as it makes him look shorter and he said no,it's because I walk more comfortably in them!I have spotty skin which cover up with make up and he says I don't need it as my skin is fine(I know it's not fine).2 if my front teeth are crocked and I said about getting them fixed- he said I was being stupid and they are ok...It goes on.....Opinions please. He us a nice looking guy and never shows any low self esteem, he has perfect teeth , skin , hair etc...Am u Reading to much in to this?
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jealous, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): HI Jodie, If that is what you want from him, then tell him, but be careful what you wish for.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): Hi, I'm Jodie, I wrote this post. Thanks to everyone for your replies.
I'm an honest person so I expect people to be the same with me. I'd rather he say " yes your skin is awful, cover it up" etc... Because I know it's true & I wouldn't feel any less about him if he did. The truth hurts, yes but if I ask a question I expect an honest answer if I could just kid myself I'm perfect! Lol x
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Wow... I clearly still have much to learn about the female mind because those comments seem fine to me... Hes being honest about what he likes but without being insensitive. Seriously, he sounds like he's got a great balance happening. You don't want him to be completely dishonest just as much as you don't want him to be completely honest.
"I have spotty skin, I'm going to put on makeup"
"Yeah babe, you look terrible without it"
"I want to fix my front teeth, they're crooked"
"Yeh, I'm glad you're getting them fixed, you'll look much better with straight teeth"
Better? Worse?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Most guys just shoot what they think without any filtering or analyzing it.They don't bother to think how it will come out .
Anyway they cannot have a female perspective and you should understand the male mind is different.
If he loves you, he will just accept everything , warts and all.
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (30 May 2010):
I think you are reading way to much into his comments. Men are flippant, just as women are, things come out of either sex's mouth without really thinking about what they are saying and people take it personally. He is simply trying to reassure you in some cases, and giving his opinion in others. Give the guy a break! If you start making a big deal about things this will develop into arguments and put a wedge between you, you two are fine, he clearly cares about you, so just enjoy that and stop over analysing everything before it ruins you! Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): I think the guy can't win. It's the classic does my bum look big in this? question.
Just incase there are any guys out there that don't know the answer is alway NO!
If he agreed with you, how would you be feeling then.?
The answer to your last question are you reading too much into this, is Yes you are, relax and stop asking him questions that he can't win with his answers.
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