A
female
age
30-35,
*eartbroken211
writes:MY boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years and have always had the perfect relationship, we even got engaged last october.it was so hard getting engaged because our families didnt want us to be together at first so we did everything to get engaged and we did and everything was so perfect, my parents actually really liked him because they saw how he loves me so much and i really loved his parents.But about 3 weeks ago he broke up with me :_(. well he made me break up with him. he said he couldnt be with me and he doesnt want to be with me because i lied to him about my past, i didnt lie to him about it i swore to him so many times that im not lying but he is convinced that i am lying to him. so he told me either i tell him the truth or he will leave me :_(. but i am telling him the truth but he wont believe me. he wanted me to end things and tell both our paretns that i want it to end. i gave him back the ring and everything he ever gave me it hurts so much because he was my life he was everything. i did everything i could to make him happy and do what he wants like quit my job or not go to the gym because he is jealous and i was ok with that because im willing to give up everything for him because im happy with him sooo happy.He doesnt even call to check up on me :_(. how can we be sooo close one day and the next its as though i dont even exist? i miss him so much! i cant believe he could move on so quickly. please tell me he's thinking of me. doesnt he miss me at all? and yeah a week before we broke up he was telling me how much he loves me :(. we been together for 4 years and in those 4 years he did accuse me of lying many times but he always said sorry because he found out im not lying and he was wrong. but this time he hasnt called to say sorry and he was wrong. its almost a month now i cant do this anymore i miss him so much i want him back. i tried calling and crying and swearing to him that im not lying and begging but he was soooo heartless he was so mean i never seen his this heartless hes always so so nice. what should i do??? i cant live without him!
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female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Dear heartbroken211,Your ex-bf has serious issues of jealousy and mistrust. This kind of man will never be happy. He will always act offended, unhappy and will blame you for it. There are reasonable boundaries of a bf being caring and protective, but when a bf becomes overprotective, life becomes a burden. You say:"i did everything i could to make him happy and do what he wants like quit my job or not go to the gym because he is jealous and i was ok with that because im willing to give up everything for him because im happy with him sooo happy."How can you allow yourself to be controlled like that??? You stopped going to they gym because he was jealous!What's next? Tomorrow, he may tell you: "You have to lose weight. I prefer skinny girls?" Will you end up anorexic because that's what he wants?The truth is the more you do for him, the more he will demand from you and he will never be happy. See, at the end he broke up with you, after you did so much to make him happy.This man will accuse of you of all kinds of stupid things all the time. Can you stand being constantly accused of things you didn't do? You need to say "enough is enough!" and put a stop to all this.Apply the no-contact rule to him. Seriously! When he tries to contact you tell him "I have decided to move on. Do not contact me any more."
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I think the real question is why after four years has he just suddenly decided that you are lying and that its worth breaking up? What exactly does he think you are lying about?? Something has changed. Maybe somebody said something to him and he took it as concrete evidence?
More info?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 "and do what he wants like quit my job or not go to the gym because he is jealous and i was ok with that because im willing to give up everything for him because im happy with him sooo happy."
This is not okay. You may think so because you have love covering your eyes, but this behaviour he showed you is not love, is it obsession.
You CAN live without him. And you can be a lot HAPPIER. This man would ultimately ruin you. He claims you lied, so there is no trust from him to you. He wanted to control what you did, again because there is no trust. You were not his girlfriend, but his pet.
It hurts now, he has probably brainwahsed you into thinking he is mans gift to earth, and that no one else will love you? Has he on occasion also put you down, said bad things about you and made you feel ugly, or bad about yourself? How often was we encouraging and PROUD of you?
I could be wrong, but if he was anything like what you described here + those things I listed up... you should get away fast!
And now that he doesn't want you back, it is easier to move on. I hope he will leave you alone, or come back a changed man!
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