A
female
age
30-35,
*ovinggirl
writes:Hi All.I split up with my long-distance boyfriend at the start of February, so almost 4 months ago. We've maintained contact as we'd really like to stay friends and have spoken every day since. More about that later.It was my 21st birthday on Friday and he was supposed to be coming down for the weekend, as I bought him/us music gig tickets for Xmas which we were going to honour, as friends. But he cancelled on me for a day out in London with friends to watch a football game.We were texting before, during and for a very short while after the game, but since then, he pretty much ignored me, texting me once or twice one-word answers etc. I asked him if he was drunk. Ignored the question. Asked him again. Ignored.Today has been pretty much the same, except he CALLED me at 12:35pm to talk about his day yesterday. Told me his afternoon would consist of cleaning and washing and going out for one drink with a friend. I heard from him for a short while after then, but nothing for 2.5hrs. He then claimed to have left his phone in the car (he never did that when we were together - plus the pub is at the end of the road!!!!) and has been ignoring me on-off since when I've been making small-talk etc.The common denominator here is drink. But he will deny/lie about being drunk. I also feel he lied about leaving his phone in the car. As well as his plans for today.I think today clearly shows that I really am not over him - but I have no idea how to get over him. I really want to stay friends as I considered him to be one of my best friends when we were together. I just hate being ignored by him and treated like he doesn't care anymore.I have no where to turn and I guess this place is my only option really. I just cannot stop thinking about him... I cannot get him out of my head, just wish he'd care about our friendship.
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best friend, drunk, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ms. Pebbles  +, writes (25 May 2010):
It's hard, I know. My bf/ex-bf are between having or not having a relationship. As females I think it's just within our nature to care and love, where as men, it's easy for them to walk away especially if their heart is not there. As women, we fall in love so quickly. We even settle just to have a warm body next to us. Men, they are different, they will not settle. They have to have feelings or love a woman to be with her. The reality of it is, that he may have moved on, or just doesn't want to be settled. I wish you luck, because it's not easy getting over someone you truly love. But try and take it day by day, step by step, and cry by cry. Eventually the pain will subside, and you will be able to move on..Good Luck
A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Oh dear! I am in the same situation! You miss talking to him, but the reality is that ex-bfs do not make good friends. You can't have him as a friend because you have feelings for him. You hope he will come back, but you hate seeing him having fun and everything tells you he is happily moved on and you're not and how unfair is that! I am in the same thing with a guy right now and it's soo tough! I can't even focus on my doing school work and other everyday tasks! Try to find strenght and to tell him that you no longer want to keep in touch because he is not sensitive to what your needs are. Tell him that you want no contact with him anymore (or at least for some time). See what he says then.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Duh... don't talk to him everyday!
Give it 4 months of no contact and then you can forge out a friendship if you so wish.
Best of luck :)
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