A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im 17 my cousin is 25 my whole family (all aunts uncles cousins etc.) went out 4 a meal and a few drinks in the hotel afterwards , my family and my cousins family were still there late in the night when i was going i said goodbye 2 my cousin and he said he loves me i said i love u too and then i said will see you soon he goes hopefully very soon , thing is i really fancy him is it wrong or what help please..
View related questions:
cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, gabbycristal  +, writes (17 October 2010):
look you go for what your heart feels i am in a situation like that too and i am going for it no matter what i dont care people can talk all they want because at the end we are in love and happy together
A
female
reader, gabbycristal +, writes (17 October 2010):
look you go for what your heart feels i am in a situation like that too and i am going for it no matter what i dont care people can talk all they want because at the we are in love and happy together
...............................
A
female
reader, mysterygirl803 +, writes (2 September 2010):
you know what I was and still am going through something similar. That's how my cousin and I started dating. We too had a big gap age difference. I found him attractive and I loved his personality. One day we hugged and out of now-where we just kissed. It was weird at first but I liked him. We started dating it's a whole story that I would tell you but it's really long. We've been together for almost 7 years. Although he broke up with me recently due to our my siblings finding out about us. It's hard. Especially for me because i have to deal with their blackmailing although I would ended but he doesnt want to. Girl, be careful. I would say go for it, if you love him, and just keep in mind what the risks are, and if you aren't then let it go. It really hurts when you are forced to get seperated. Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi thanks all who have answered but it doesnt help that much because what i was wanting to hear was "go go for it u should be together" thanks still.... anyone else wants to help?
...............................
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Cerberus is totally spot on, he's covered everything, and I dont have anything to add.
Please take heed of what Cerberus has told you, the consequences really are as bad as he has said.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Everyone has different perspectives of what "wrong" is... The closest universal guideline of what is right and wrong is the law, or (if you have one), your religion.
But if I go out on a limb here I'd say that you just want to know if there's still a stigma attached to "cousin lovers"... and I'd say that yes, it is still widely looked down upon, though the severity depends on what relation they are to you, law, blood, generation, age and what not.
However the whole cousin love thing dilemma seems to be pretty common these days... or maybe its just less taboo and discussed more? Who knows...? But in my opinion you should weigh up whether pursuing anything with your cousin is worth the trouble it may cause in your families. Also realize that you will inevitably be judged by some people, friends, family, co-workers, strangers and you'll have to learn to deal with that.
Take some time to think it over and then make an informed decision about whether it's right or wrong for yourself and to hell with what anyone else thinks.
Best of luck aye :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): If he's your first cousin then yes, it's wrong. It's also illegal here in Ireland as it's considered incest.
The main reason it's wrong though is that you're biologically incompatible, meaning any children you might have would have major birth defects. I know, you're thinking "woah there! it's a bit soon to be talking about children" well actually it's not. The fact you can't have children together just goes to show there is no long term future in any kind of relationship and it could also have major disastrous consequences on your family.
Not to mention the complete stigma it would be to date your cousin. People would think you're freaks and you know what it's like here, everyone knows everyone and you'd have a very hard time of it because people aren't afraid to voice their opinion on the middle of the street.
But you also have to consider your parents and his parents would also have to put up with this stigma, indeed your entire family would labeled with tag 'incest'.
Plus he's 25 and 8 years older than you, that's a pretty big gap for someone your age and again that's a reason for stigma.
look it's not wrong to feel the way you do, you can't help that but for you to act on it, that would be very wrong because it's illegal and your family could be destroyed because of this.
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Can you imagine your daughter and their son getting together? How do you think your parents would feel about it?
In this way it is wrong because you stand to hurt the people who love you the most if you get with him.
The best thing you can do is talk to your mother and tell her what happened, perhaps in your family they'd be okay with it either way she'll be able to tell you what will happen and whether you can or can't. Although it is still illegal.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I think it really depends on what culture you live in, and I meen you can "fancy" him all you want. It's, do you want to do something with him that you may think is not culturally aceptable. If so make sure you know and understand what might happen if you do move on with whatever you are thinking. personally I think its just a crush it will go away and i would try to find something else. BUT thats just me do what ever you mind and heart think is right! hope it works out!
...............................
A
female
reader, galfrend  +, writes (31 August 2010):
its so wrong that it will never be right.you are related so its incest.l think there r a lot of nice guys out there waiting to date people they r not related to.come on gal.
love
galfrend
...............................
|
