A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:He's been my secret boyfriend for a while now and I just tell my parents that he's my best friend. Today I wasn't so lucky because I was at the mall with him and so was my dad. He saw me and my boyfriend holding hands and kissing. My dad told my mom and now they're both upset/mad, especially my dad. My parents are Asian therefore they are quite strict on dating. We're young but I swear our love is genuine; it's not one of those "typical teenage love that won't last long". He's a really kind, respectful, and commited guy who also is my best friend. But I just don't know what to do about my parents because they want me to explain soon what's going on, especially my dad. I still want to see and be with my boyfriend and I'm so terrified of losing him over this, even though he assured me he wouldn't. He wants to support me but I'm too afraid to get him included. I don't know what to do! :'(
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 "We're young but I swear our love is genuine; it's not one of those "typical teenage love that won't last long"
If I had a nickle...
Should I ever have a daughter I'm going to go crazy trying to slow the inevitable dating stage as long as I can. I'll also probably invest in a shotgun...
Your folks aren't going to be happy with this until they think you're ready... which is probably years away. Hopefully though, they know that trying to stop stubborn teenage love and shenanigans will do nothing but turn such shenanigans into covert operations... Personally, I'd rather know roughly what my hypothetical daughter was doing and be silently disapproving than have her learn to lie to my face and as a result never know where, what or who she was doing...
I say be honest with your folks, maybe try to reassure them that you're sensible, pure and have no secret plans for a teenage pregnancy and hopefully they'll ease up.
Best of luck :)
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Ah ha, I too got caught with my boyfriend when I was your age. I bet you're not allowed to date till you're 16. There's nothing you can really do you're still a minor living under your parent's roof so you have to respect their rules. When i got caught my mom grounded me for the whole summer..so needless to say my boyfriend dumped me. Hopefully, your parents weren't as strict as mine. Looks like you're just going to have to limit seeing your boyfriend at school and that's it. Sorry, dear.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (31 August 2010):
 your parents are probably more mad about you sneaking behind their backs then you actually dating someone. I think you should apologize for lying to them, because even lying by omission is lying, and ask them for forgiveness. Let them know how you feel about your boyfriend and that you would really like it if they let you keep seeing him. They might say no, in that case you can either 1. sneak around with him again and continue lying to your parents...eventually they find out and you lose all their trust in you or 2. break up with your boyfriend for now, tell him you can only be friends because of your parents, be honest with him and hope he forgives you, your parents will trust you and respect you then.
however, its a tough situation and the best case scenerio would be your parents approving of you dating him. Perhaps you can ask your parents if you could have him over for dinner so they can get to know him before they make the decision.
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