A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry in advance for the wall of text. Ok so I don't have the best track record when it comes to dating. Many of the girls I asked out in high school simply avoided my advacnes all together. Needless to say I was a little jaded from these girls and didn't even try again for a few years. I'm 20 now and finally seem to have gotten over my past experiences trying to get a date.My father and I have been frequenting a restraunt in town for a long time now. It's a great place and we usually eat there at least two or three times a week. A lot of beautiful women work there and we are good friends with most of them but thats where the relationship ends. I never really felt any sort of feelings for them so we kept everything casual. One of the women who worked there we got to know a lot better than any other that worked there. I've known her a long time now and we always ask for her section when we go there and she sits with us and we have a good time. A couple months ago she began opening up about her personal life and started telling about all the jerk boyfriends she had. Some had cheated on her, some ignored her completely and then acted like she was still theirs. By no means were we relationship experts but we offered a few consoling words and just tried to be good friends for her. My father often kidded around with me asking her out but she was 21 and had said that she wasn't comfortable going out with someone younger than her after she tried it once with a different guy. After a while she acted like she was flirting with me when we would go their to eat. She would ask me what I would do in certain situations, kid around with me a lot, write little messages on my to go cups of tea like "I 3 you" and give me little quizzes about what she wore the last time we came as if to make sure I was noticing her. The more and more we hung out with her the more I felt like I had feelings for her so I finally decided to try and ask her out.this past friday we sat in her section and she had told us that she was sad because some guy had just blown her off because he had just found a new girlfriend and with college classes starting back up she was more stressed than ever. I thought, "Hey, nows my chance." So I told myself I would ask her out the next time when came by. Every sunday we eat there after church and it was the usual friendly conversation we always have with her. I caught her on the way out and asked if she ever had some free time this week that I'd like to take her to dinner. This was her response: she smirked and said, "pfft...you're funny." Me kind of taken aback by this I told her i was serious and then she walked away chuckling.I've spent the better half of the day feeling absolutely crushed. What she said made it seem like she didn't even take me seriously, like I'm some joke to her. My father was telling me maybe she wasn't ready to date yet and I was like, "So she was ready to date friday with that guy who blew her off but not today?" I just feel so horrible right now. I just can't take rejection after rejection especically how well I've gotten to know this girl. I was thinking finally I could begin anew and have someone to care for. But all I got was a laugh in the face. Not even a defenite yes or no...What do I do? Is she just playing hard to get or do I really mean nothing to her?
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (23 August 2010):
I too agree w/ tennisstar, yea big big tip.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, never expected this many comments.It's so odd, like before I asked her if she wanted to go out I was on the fence on whether or not I actually had feelings for her. Then after I said it it's like I want her more now than I did. I don't know. Your comments have really brought me out of the dumps, thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 August 2010):
This girl is not into you and judging from the way she acted (everyone is bad except her, he whole "woe is me attitude"...) it's a good thing too. She doesn't sound like good girlfriend material anyway.
I judge a guy on the way he treats and talks about other women. If he's negative, I'm gone. The same can be said the other way around. If a girl is giving the impression every boyfriend was a jerk, I would steer clear because chances are you will be added to the list no matter what an angel you are.
Look for someone who has something positive to say and doesn't bother people with the little problems in her life. If people are like that to faint acquaintances, you don't want to know what amount of "blah blah blah" you'll have to endure when you're in a relationship with them.
Cut your losses, go to a different restaurant (diversity is fun!) and move on. In the end you'll be the one with a great girl and she will be the one adding another guy to her list of things to moan about.
Your call...
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (23 August 2010):
Thats why the guys blew her off her Additude! and being a tease!!!!!!! oh it's really not nice to laugh in someone's face when they ask you out. what a inmature bimbo! i wouldn't care if she comes over to your table next time you and your father go out to eat i would tell her that that seats taken. you wanna see her turn around like that? act like a man and just tell her like it is! if she says something to you about when you asked her out! just tell her you don't have no interest in dating rude girls. that there are plenty of real woman out there. she will look at you like wow he told me off they think about what they said and show more respect for you im telling you im a woman i know! they like the forward but hard to get men. and you know what there are plenty of good woman out there sounds like she has alot of ensecurties and drama in her life? you don't just start talking about all your boyfriend problems thats a red flag to hit the road. and have you noticed it's all about her!!! good luck take my advice! and be selective you deserve it your still young and got plenty of time don't rush yourself enjoy your life and you will meet her when you are relaxed and being yourself your instincts are there you know what i mean.
Have Fun man!
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A
female
reader, Angelripper  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I agree with jmtmj. I work at a corner store, and it's my job (in my opinion) to be as nice and as sociable as possible, and to feign (although not always) interest in people's lives. Some customers get the wrong impression and think I'm coming onto them, which leaves for some embarassing times to say the least.
However, I would never open up to any customer about my personal life, except for a couple of people, but it is completely platonic. The fact that she opened up to you is kind of good, mebbe she's starting to warm up to you? But it might just be as a friend/customer/server relationship.
It's definitely strange that she would just laugh and walk off like that ... it's not a good sign, but she seemed to be dropping hints before that she may have been interested, so I don't quite understand ... I agree that you should probably see how she reacts the next time you and your dad go, and take it from there.
Personally, whenever I see the same people that asked me out at another time, I am not as smiley, but I still try to be nice anyway to make them feel comfortable and less awkward, but I do not make as much eye contact either. But that's my own way of dealing with it, she may have another!
Best of luck to you!
-The Resident Metalhead
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Look, your 20 years old and you've got loads of time to find the right person. It sounds to me that she was just using you for attention and a confident boost. And you didn't really know her that well, only where you went to eat. There are plenty of nice girls out there, let them come to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I dont think she is blowing you off necessarily, it seems as though she may want you to give it a better try. Or possibly she is not interested indeed. It's a tough call. However, with the background you gave I am more apt to say that she would be open to dating you ...
I think you should go for it, give it your best shot. The pay off is much greater than the risk of being rejected. no regrets!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I don't think that you mean nothing to her, but remember that you are a customer and its her job to be nice to you. Interesting that you didn't get an answer either way, but I doubt she was expecting you to ask her out so may have just been a tad surprised?
Now that she knows that you're interested in her I'd see how she reacts next time you go to her workplace. Does she treat you any differently? Is she more guarded, more self-conscious, smile less, flirt less etc? She'll probably try to drop subtle hints as to whether she's interested or not. Write back to let us know what happens and how she reacts next :)
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 High school dating was the beginning of an era, in fact they're not that mature of relationships so I never really counted them. Once you get to college it's a clean slate anyway. How much of a tip did your Dad leave her? She sounds rather fake, getting extra chatty with you guys, having sob stories about guys she dated this girl is just trying to get a good tip. Well, laughing in your face should be enough of a no for you. I don't see why you would second guess it. I'm sorry that she said it like that but she's just not into you. Let this one go, I would't really frequent that restaurant anymore tell your dad you're burned out on it you'd rather eat elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (23 August 2010):
 she has had bad experiences and to me she seems that ahe's kinda angry with the male gender. Hence she behaves rudely,because she's afraid that she will get hurt again.
her behavior towards you was totally unacceptable. when u said u were serious she should of sat down and explain her reasons for not wanting to accept the date.
you acted like a gentleman and she acted like a silly girl.
don't waste your time with her and don't let that incident discourage you.
there will be plenty of girls out there that will be happy to date you.
a bit of advice : Build your confidence. You seem to appear like that one,cute,friendly fella. You need to step your game up and become irresistable. Read men's magazines or articles online.Be more charming.
Good luck :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Sounds to me that she is not interested in you in that way. There's girls out there who will like you, you just have to be patient. Everybody has problems finding the right one. Don't be discouraged, but you do need to let this one go.
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