A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this question has been asked by many a gay guy, but i was hoping for a more specific answer. My friendship with this guy started rather oddly (he is the same age as me and we have actually been at school together for the past 5 years). He was the first guy I ever had a proper crush on and therefore confirmed to me that I was at least bi. I thought nothing of it and just pushed it to the back of my mind like another ordinary crush, however about a month later he fell out with his best friend and I fell out with mine we clashed together and helped eachother to get back on our feet and from there we became best friends. My crush on him came bounding back and as I spent more and more time with him. We would be having movie night sleepovers every other weekend. My feelings were beginning to get painful to hold back so I told one of my close friends everything... she took it all in and gave me advice... everything was fine... I mean I still had feelings for him but my head didnt feel like it was going to explode anymore. this situation remained unchanged for the next 2 months when completely out of the blue he told me that there was a girl he liked. This really got me down... I had myself fooled into believing he had feelings for me also as he had seemed to be sending little hints my way such as brushing past my skin whenever he could , laughing at all my jokes that no one else found funny, once actually putting his hand on my leg playfully and about 3 times "jokingly" demanding a bj from me. The next 3 weeks went by in a blur... somehow I managed to set him and this girl he liked, up together for reasons still unknown to myself. Then to make matters worse... a month later the friend I had told everything to completely pushed me out of her life. This was extremely devestating for me. When I had begun to move on from that this guy turned round to me one day and told me he knew everything... that i was completely in love with him. I asked him if he felt the same way and he said no but he still loved me as a brother. I asked him if he realised that his actions towards me had been quite misleading and he admitted that he had done it on purpose as his way of trying to let me know that he knew!!! The girl i had told... had told him everything... 4 months ago!!! About a month later everything had cooled down again and we were still hanging out as best buddies... his girlfriend knew how I felt about him and was a little defensive but knew that I cared about him too much to risk our friendship by making any sort of advance on him. Finally I thought I was over him but now my end of year exams are out of the way and I have nothing else to think about... all I can think about is him. We are currently in the middle of one of our sleepovers and he is asleep in the room next door... but I cannot sleep at all so im cradling a coffee and listening to the stereo while typing this. He still sometimes rubs past my hand lightly or shifts an inch towards me on the sofa during a film but i always try to withdraw away. I don't know what to do... I still love him but he still has a girlfriend and does not make anymore outright advances on me like he used to... please help. Whenever I think I am beginning to like another guy my mind flicks back to him and his beautiful smile. Am I completely wasting my time? I have another two years of school to spend around him and I dont think I will be able to think about anyone else while he is around. Thanks in advance. Sorry for the long story.
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male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 From what your telling me I believe he is Gay and is attracted to you. Unfortunitly there are still many young and older gays out there that have trouble accepting that they are gay because of social stigma. My advice is that you should use your intuition quality level of gayness and see if he's gay or bi. If then you discover he's gay, try convincing him that its best accepting himself for who he is. Take care :)
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 OK... Here's the scoop. You have a REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD _BEST_ FRIEND. He's told you that he knows everything and STILL hangs out with you and sort of encourages you to crush on him. That part's a little unhealthy - for you mainly - but at least he didn't just dump you (so to speak).
What you need to do is figure out HOW to get over your crush. Cause... if you can do that you will most likely have THE best friend you'll ever have... for LIFE. He'll be the 'go to' guy when your heart gets broken elsewhere (when you're dating some guy and you break up, etc.) similar to your back stabbing female friend that told him. In the long run she probably did you a major favor in telling him so now you don't have to worry about talking to him about how you feel.
And I'll bet that the reason that you set him up with this girl he's dating is... you just wanna make him happy.
Don't kill what could possibly be the best friendship you'll ever have because you have a crush on him. I know it's hard but you gotta find a compatible boyfriend - just to get over the crush.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, kevin3007 +, writes (22 August 2010):
 hey bro i am in the same situation fell for him told him freacked out but said we could be just friends and now he's kissing his gf more often only in front of me it like he's trying to say "hello there i am straight"...da** it i am so jealous any who brother i think we're wasting our time but who knows what's the futur got for us .....good luck dude and NEVER TELL YOU SECRETS TO A GIRL THEY TALK TOO MUCH
ps: if you wanna talk more about it e.mail me here it would be cool to share it and i am 16 by the way
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 August 2010):
 Yes your wasting your time, your not going to be able to turn your best friend. He likes you like a brother nothing more, so keep it that way or break off the friendship. Now that girl friend was a crappy little fag hag, even though your gay your secrets are to be kept safe just like everyone else's. I do hope your not friends with her anymore. Seek another guy who is also gay, or if it's still a taboo in high school keep it on the down low. Is it more socially acceptable to come out now? Or do they still get tortured like they did back in 2001 and wait to come out after they graduate?
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 Sorry, but you really are wasting your time if he's straight, but I think you already know this.
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