A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have to know something, its driving me crazy. First of all I'm bi-polar, and I get very hyper, when I'm happy. Well I seem to have a bad habit of freaking guys out! Like they literally run from me, My friends Boyfriends, my guy friends, my brothers friends. I don't know why and I ask them time and time again and they wont tell me why. Well my boyfriends friend told me the other day its because I ask a lot of questions. And my mom and her friend tell me its because I'm aggressive. Which I can see it being both, but I need a guys opinion. I know girls and guys think differently. I like to talk a lot once I'm comfortable with someone, I'm not shy once I get to know someone. And I'm not afraid to give a completely honest opinion. I hang out around mostly guys so I admit I can be a perv, The guys who don't run from me love how I can be one of the guys with them. They don't have to worry about offending me. I'm a BIG flirt, I love to make guys blush. But it seems like a lot of guys don't know what to do with a girl like me. My past Boyfriends didn't know how to take me for the longest time, then ended up dating me. One of my exs still to this day (2 yrs later) Wants me back. My other ex still wants to be my friend, and is still in love with me. And now that I have a new BF who seems to love my personality. But his friends all seem. To not know how to take me at all. Like they distance themselves from me at all costs, When all I want is to be friends with them. And they all know I'm not a slut, I'm 100 percent faithful to my Bf. I just wish that I knew what I'm doing wrong, and why most guys seem to run the other way when they see me. I don't really get along with girls I don't trust them, but I love having guy friends.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 September 2010):
Perhaps you can try checking out some state or federally funded programs (if you're in the states). I've looked into them as my mother has a mental illness and there is one called NAMI, their website is nami.org and they may have something that could possibly help you.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 September 2010):
 “between the platonic and erotic dialogues, chances are, you're enjoying the grey area a little too much.”
That pretty much sums up how a lot of guys who don’t know you or understand bipolar tendencies may feel about you. You’re sending guys mixed signals... not intentionally or maliciously... but it could be why some guys “run” from you. Let me try to explain... Some guys are going to be confused as to what your motives are as generally when a girl comes up to a guy, acting all friendly, chatty and flirty- they're all major signs to him that she probably fancies him... However in reality you just love to socialize and make lots of guy friends- even if you aren't interested in them romantically whatsoever... would that be a fair statement?
To some this could make you come across as intimidating or confusing and not every guy is going to understand you and not every guy is going to like you- particularly if they think you’re just an attention seeker or a tease- leading them on.... It sucks, but that’s just the way it is. Not every guy is going to know what to do with a girl like you and it all stems back to the fact that you’re inadvertently sending out a lot of mixed signals which don’t fit in with many guys black and white view of flirting. Many guys are always going to view flirting as an indicator of romantic interest... many just won’t get that you’re just trying to be socialize and be friendly.
So anyways, that’s just what I eventually concluded from dating a bipolar girl for a couple of years... I’m not naturally a jealous guy, but I had a tough time understanding my girlfriends motives for flirting with what seemed like every random guy she met and as a result I hate to say that I found myself becoming incredibly jealous, suspicious and frustrated.
Pinktopaz wrote a great post b4 definitely worth thinking over...
Anyhoo, just remember that you can’t please everybody, nobody can- so stop stressing and just be yourself.
Best of luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wish I was on medication, I have no medical insurance to do that. Im also have Epilepsy, and panic attacks, and can hardly afford the medication for those. But I think you completely understand what I'm talking about and it helps having someone finally explain it to me. I just don't understand why people cant just up and tell someone that. I have no problem telling someone something like that, because I would rather be honest with someone. And I don't want everyone to like me, just the people I'm around on a day to day basis. Everyone always tells you to be your self and when I do that it just seems to freak people out. And I admit I do come on strong towards people I like, I guess I could try to calm down its just VERY HARD to do that. My Boyfriend was just telling me I need to calm down earlier LOL. I just wish people would be up front and honest that's all it takes, Right when someone tells me I'm getting excited I can work on calming down. I don't know, All I know is it makes me crazy. And I don't get how people can not like me because I'm the way I am.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 September 2010):
Well first, I hope you take some sort of medication for your bipolar disorder. And I sincerely don't mean that as an insult, but it may be able to keep you a little more calm. A few people that I know that are bipolar can get really hyper and sometimes they also have more than just bipolar and also have ADD.
So perhaps you just switch from subject to subject and you don't really notice it, but to someone that doesn't have it they may see you as a little "strange." You may come on a little too strong and make others uncomfortable. Like you said, you only want to be their friend and you enjoy talking and flirting, but you also need to understand that people have boundaries and lines that you may cross and that ends up making them uncomfortable and not really want to engage in conversation with you.
So I would suggest that if you don't take any sort of medication, you should try and see about getting some. Also keep in mind that you may not like what they give you or you might not like what they have given you if you aren't taking it, but there are other medications they can give you if you don't like the way it makes you feel. Also, try to recognize if you are talking too much or if you're getting the vibe that someone is becoming uncomfortable and stop talking or move onto another subject. And remember, not everyone is going to like you, just like I'm sure there are people that you don't like. Don't take it personal and if someone doesn't like you, then let them have their opinion and don't worry about it. Just as long as you like yourself :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Well, you should probably develop other talents than making boys blush. So, between the platonic and erotic dialogues, chances are, you're enjoying the grey area a little too much.
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