| Latest articles: Healthy self worth/esteem
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 September 2010: It seems to me that almost all of the problems and unhappiness posted here are about unhealthy self esteem/worth and the solution is so very easy, simple and available. I did a lot of self esteem work and have found that it repairs almost e...
Bennefits of Porn
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 September 2010: Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
How to make a good relationship
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 September 2010: Hi: I'm offering this tip because an article would take up way to much space, whereas, what I want to offer is all over the place, free and quite simple to use, in my opinion. My tip is: google relationship tips or relationship skills or g...
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Would you be upset with this?
Q. Would you be upset if your boyfriend had a pirture of him and a girl togather even though there just friends and she gave it to him?...
A. 25 September 2010: LOL, not me! My self esteem is high enough and good enough that such things would not bother me. Plus I have enough relationship understanding to confront my partner if such a thing did bother me.
Have you told him how you feel and have you told... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 25 September 2010: Dear Cupid Boy:
3
:) ... (read in full...)
Kids having sex!
Q. OK lately I see a lot of questions here where children from the age of 14-16,17 years think that they are old enough to have sex. They don't understand anything about it. They think that they are ready. There are even parents who agree with the idea ...
A. 24 September 2010: I'm not a parent but......... re: OK lately I see a lot of questions here where children from the age of 14-16,17 years think that they are old enough to have sex. They don't understand anything about it. ... Says who? At eleven years old, I und... (read in full...)
Lesbian sex!
Q. hi, i am a lesbian and i have a girlfriend. she seems to love giving me sex and i love taking it. but when it comes to giving it to her i dont seem to enjoy it. do you think this could mean i am no longer gay or dont find her attractive because i am ...
A. 24 September 2010: re: but when it comes to giving it to her i dont seem to enjoy it.
.... Don't enjoy in what sense? It could be you are self conscious (insecure) about your 'techniques' and style. Perhaps she doesn't respond as you'd like. Could be that you... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 24 September 2010: "You have a death wish my friend :)"
LOL! :D... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 24 September 2010: re: "So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go ... (read in full...)
How to make a good relationship
Q. Hi: I'm offering this tip because an article would take up way to much space, whereas, what I want to offer is all over the place, free and quite simple to use, in my opinion. My tip is: google relationship tips or relationship skills or g...
A. 23 September 2010: Dorthy:
That's a good list and will most likely help a lot of folks. I offered no specifics because I want others to do their own work and go look at relationship info on their own. I could have written a very long, multi page list like yours bu... (read in full...)
How to keep a marriage ticking
Q. Marriage in itself is one of the strongest words to exist. It comprises of a whole new chapter in your life. It brings about a change in your life which nothing else can. You have so many aspirations and dreams about the right guy for yourself. Some ...
A. 23 September 2010: It's a great article. The only thing I might add is: re: Be completely honest and Open to Each Other- When I say honest and open, I am not talking about sharing your past with your spouse. ..... In my experience, our past is and was ... (read in full...)
Men: Is sex a chore and not enjoyable?
Q. Do you men that focus only on performance during sex take sex as being a chore instead of enjoyment?...
A. 23 September 2010: LOL, not since I've been watching Porn and learning lots of new and useful things. I have expanded my field of awareness and methods vastly through excellent porn examples - especially from Lesbians - and it's making a big positive difference in ... (read in full...)
Why won't my nice guy connect with me on a deeper level? I'm confused!
Q. I’ve been with my guy for a little over 1.5 years. He is my first boyfriend, I am his 4th girlfriend. He is 6 years older and has many friends. I am shy and a bit sheltered, and am not so lucky with friends. We are both intelligent people, and we ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: I put my heart into something and it seems he didn’t care.
.... Many folks, especially men, DO NOT KNOW HOW to communicate and relate in words. There are reasons for this which go back to early childhood traingng/conditioning but the poin... (read in full...)
We want to have a baby but my husband drinks way too much!
Q. My Husband and I want to have a baby. here is the Problume. He is 52 I am 32, he Drinks WAYYYYY too much, not drunk every night, but he drinks a bottle of wine a night. He had a heart attack and noooo that didn't stop him from Drinking or ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: WHAT IS THE TRUTH!!
... IMO, the 'truth' is that you SHOULD NOT EVER submit a child to that kind of DYSFUNCTION. Kids need and deserve the best parental role models you can give them and ALCOHOLISM is not a good example show kids.
No, you... (read in full...)
Older boyfriend doesn't want sex so much and its making me feel insecure
Q. I have been dating an older man for almost a year. I am twenty seven and he is forty five. He is a good man as far as paying the bills and helping me raise my daughter. Our sex life has been dwindling lately and every time I try to talk to him ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: I am filled with self-doubt and insecurities because of it.
... This is very DAMAGING to your daughter who needs good parental role models so she doesn't end up RUINED.
first of all, you need to boost and improve your own self esteem/worth... (read in full...)
I Don't Feel Pretty Enough To Be With Him
Q. So..I'm dating this guy, and he's really sweet and nice, and I think he's really hott. But I just don't feel pretty enough to be with him. I asked him if he could change anything about me, what would it be, and he said he'd make me have bigger ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: What should I do?
... Fix your very bad/low self esteem and sour self respect.
google: self worth and get started feeling and being your best regardless of what your body is like!... (read in full...)
I want more than comfortable and friendship in my marriage!
Q. I've been married for 17 years. The last few years have seemed more a friendship than relationship. Nothing has changed except me, I want more. He is still the same a great friend, great dad, and a comfortable relationship. Sex is the same, but I ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: I guess what I am asking is where do you go now when only one of you wants something different and the other is happy where they are at?
FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD who will be damaged by unhappy parental role models, do whatever it takes to... (read in full...)
Flirty boyfriend!
Q. ok well heres the deal. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 3 months. He's not the best with showing his feelings or pda or really anything. Then there is my "best friend" who he also dated like a year ago. They dated for about 7 months. ...
A. 21 September 2010: re: i just want a way to handle it and not feel insecure anymore.
google: self worth or self esteem and fix yours
about his flirting - google: relationship skills
and learn how to communicate better to get what you both want.... (read in full...)
He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too! can we someday rekindle what we had?
Q. So this summer I started seeing a friend of mine. He always had a girlfriend but we always spoke when we were out. One way to describe him is.. think of the nicest guy in the world- that's this guy! And it was no wonder why we were friends. Then...
A. 21 September 2010: re: Also, do you think one day in the future we can rekindle what we had?
...Yes. It just takes a little relationship knowledge and skills
google: relationship tips
good luck... (read in full...)
Is online flirting and porn entertainment... a sort of infidelity?
Q. My wife is really upset that I log into dating chatroom websites, sex webcam sites, and porn sites and view the contents and talk to online flirts, such as myself. I see this as a bit of harmless flirting and a diverting form of entertainment. Why ...
A. 21 September 2010: There are two significant issues there.
1 your wife has a self esteem/worth problem and needs to improve or boost her self esteem and respect so your behavior does not hurt her so much. Gals with good self worth/respect do not feel threatened by o... (read in full...)
My wife accuses me of not in love with her anymore and needs a divorce
Q. Hi. I have been married for 8 years now. We did a church wedding and my wife was a virgin then. We had agreed for one kid only but over time she has cheated me and now we have 3 kids. This is one of our constant conflicts. Secondly is that she ...
A. 20 September 2010: OMG what a perfectly HORRIBLE home life for your kids. Kids deserve and need good parental role models but I guess bad parental role models can help kids learn what NOT TO BE when they grow up.
Since you are both committed Christians, ask God or J... (read in full...)
Married 12 years and semi unhappy, please help
Q. Hi I've been married for 12 years to man I truelly love, but feel so uncared for. I have expressed my need for some attention, but things never change. He was never very good at verbally expressing his affection for me, but it showed in physical...
A. 20 September 2010: re: He reserves a little bit of time for the kids
.....FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR KIDS who need and deserve the best parental role models you can give them, do whatever it takes to make sure your kids are not damaged by inadequate, faulty pare... (read in full...)
My marriage is falling apart after only 2 and a half years!
Q. i have been married for only two years and a half.but my marriage is already falling apart.we fight and we also physical fight.he looks at other when i ask him he tells me hes admiring their beauty.is he the right man for me.because i think am ...
A. 20 September 2010: RE: is he the right man for me.because i think am losing my mind.we have one child.
.... Well that's really TOO BAD for your child. Kids need and deserve the best parental role models you can give them - not ones losing their mind!
There is ... (read in full...)
Is this just his way of finishing with me?
Q. About 5 weeks ago I received a message from my partners saying that he had to deal with major issues in his life and since then I barely hear from him. He says he needs his space to sort these things out. He tells me that the relationship is not ...
A. 20 September 2010: What do you want? Are you just his little helpless toy? It's your life so why not go for what you want and live your life as you please. Right now all you have written REEKS of Codependency - google it.
If someone treated me like that....
I'D B... (read in full...)
I like being loved, but is he too old for me?
Q. I've divorced my husband after 18 years together. I've met this man 20 years older than me. I dont like that big age gap. However he is a caring person and I find me attracted to him. A year on I dont find his wrinkles false teeth and big body ...
A. 19 September 2010: re: Im really confused in this relationship. Please advice.
.... I'd say your are CODEPENDENT in the relationship. Codependents are very NEEDY and fall for anyone who will give them a little attention. They don't know what 'love' is because love... (read in full...)
So afraid my feelings for this man are obsessive
Q. Long story. I have been with my bf for 11 years now. We have 2 children, beautiful and healthy, lights of my life. Our relationship has never been ideal, I have my flaws, and he has his. But in the past 3 years things have happened that have l...
A. 19 September 2010: re: Am I just obsessing ?
... Yes!
FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR KIDS who are being damaged the most by their very bad parental role models!
Do whatever it takes to make sure your kids have good, responsible (not obsessive) parental role models so th... (read in full...)
Girlfriend interested in someone else?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend we met online and in the beginning our love grew quite a bit but lately she's been getting distanced and pushing herself away from me. How can you tell if she's interested in someone else and ...
A. 19 September 2010: Approach the situation by improving your own low/needy self worth.
google: self worth
When you have good, healthy self esteem you won't be falling for someone like that or be so NEEDY and desperate.
I'd add that your 'love' was not love at all!... (read in full...)
Holiday romance
Q. I met a guy on holiday and we had a holiday romance. We kept in touch for a couple of months. I wasn't naive, and I knew that barmen like him chase lots of girls, and I was just another on his list. I liked him a lot, but I didn't expect him to ke...
A. 19 September 2010: google: Codependency
and learn about your condition. Codependents get 'attached' very easily because they are needy and incomplete by them self.
re: I did love him on holiday, back home I thought about him everyday,
re: I can't get him out of m... (read in full...)
My world crumbled when I heard about his former lover
Q. hello, I have been married for the last 4 years and am having a child aged 2 years recently i had a talk with my husband and came to know that he was having an affair before marriage and he also had sex with her on listening to this my world ca...
A. 19 September 2010: FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD.....
do whatever it takes to make sure your kids are raised by happy, loving, trustworthy, honorable role models.
Kids deserve and need the best parental role models you can give them.
Otherwise, give your kids away to... (read in full...)
How do I get over caring about what people think of me?
Q. My mother is the worst kind of person: evil, disattached, unkepted, never caring, not understanding, not loving or lovable. I for the past 10 years give or take alittle I been very self concious. From the moment I began to transition into ...
A. 19 September 2010: re: What I want to know do I get over feeling this way .... You absolutely can turn around the crippling messages from you primary role model/mother. It just takes working on undoing her rotten programing/conditioniing and installing new, and bett... (read in full...)
I used to fancie a guy who's now my best friend but I love him now what do I do?
Q. before you read this sorry about the amount of writng but i felt it needed explaining in full: about a year ago i had a crush on a boy who was friends with a couple of my best friends so i asked him out and he rejected me, but its been nearly 1 an...
A. 18 September 2010: My current wife is and was my 'best friend'. My first wife was not a friend - best or otherwise! I cannot imagine marrying anyone OTHER THAN a best friend. But what is a 'best friend'? My definition: someone you can be totally 100% honest with... (read in full...)
After the baby was born things went down hill for us!
Q. I have being with my bf 4 over 3 years i have a 19month old girl with him. For the 1st year and a half of our relationship things was amazing in everyway once our daughter was born it slowly but surely went down hill in everyway. Ive noticed myself ...
A. 18 September 2010: You are caught up in the very same struggle as most others - baby or not. You just do not KNOW HOW to make the relationship work once the honeymoon is over and the dull everyday routines come back. Most of us were not taught how to make a good r... (read in full...)
Can you be in love even though you have not met?
Q. hi am 18 years old and i met a man for several months we do chatting and we fell in-love with each other I do not know but i am in-love or not? i break up with my bf and told my suitors i have found him, i did not meet him yet in person i feel ...
A. 17 September 2010: IMO, it's not 'love' - more like a need being temporarily filled.
re: its like if we cannot communicate with each other(call, text, or chat) i am already worried and something anxious. and if we do communicate, its like my day was totally complete... (read in full...)
After finding out my partner used a prostitute, I'm wondering if he's the man I thought he was?
Q. My man and I have been together for almost three years now, and marriage is on the cards. We’re mature (early 50s) and have both been married and divorced, so it's inevitable we each have a past. Watching the news on TV the other night ther...
A. 17 September 2010: re: Prior to this I believed we shared the same values and ideas on what’s decent and what’s not ... Well there it is!......bad or no communication in certain areas that have just now come to light. I'd guess most married folks lose touch and end ... (read in full...)
I'm a natural flirt and it causes problems for the man I like!
Q. I'm a flirt. A natural flirt. Once I realised I was attractive to men, it became my way of relating to men. Trouble is, I am deeply in love with someone who reacts badly to other men paying me attention, and my knee-jerk response of flirting back. I ...
A. 17 September 2010: IMO, his issue is his own low/bad self worth/esteem. If he had good self esteem and confidence, your flirting (tho offensive, IMO) would not bother him so much AND he would know how and when to confront your behavior. I sure wouldn't want my babe ... (read in full...)
I really need him right now -- how can I get him to be more supportive?
Q. Hey everyone, The bf "J" and I have been together apx 9 months now - he's finishing up law school and I work for myself. Now, I've been consulting for a few years but the art market has all but dried up and I am so incredibly anxious about my...
A. 17 September 2010: Rather than give you some little snippet of advise and/or things to say/do, I will send you to 2 places where you can LEARN HOW to deal with this. 1 google: relationship tips and learn how to communicate better to get your wishes and needs met. ... (read in full...)
He wants a 'break' for a couple months! I don't understand..help!
Q. hi! i'd appreciate it if u can give me good advice.i had a boyfriend i loved very much and i believe he loves me too, at least he was. we can't make a dicision about where we live after our marriage. he and their family want us to go back their city ...
A. 17 September 2010: re: doesn't he love me anymore? ... It all depends on exactly what you mean by 'love'. What does the word/feeling 'love' mean to you? Is it about NEED? re: he and their family want us to go back their city where i don't belong. i really d... (read in full...)
His co-dependant relationship with his daughter has me concerned. Any advice?
Q. I have been married for 18 years and have overlooked my husband's codependency all along, until now. The relationship with his daughter who is 31 is starting to make me feel even more uncomfortable. She has always been treated like the wife and I ...
A. 17 September 2010: IMO, you both need help. And since you have the most control of your self, it will help you the most to start studying and learning about your own Codependency and how to manage it. When you have a handle on your own behavior and reactions, then ... (read in full...)
Bad(ish) boyfriend suddenly becoming wonderful overnight, turns out he's been watching porn. Help?
Q. Sorry guys, it's another porn story, but please listen to me. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2/3 years now. He was wonderful at the start, but then he seemed to stop caring. He wouldn't do anything nice for me, didn't call me beautiful, di...
A. 17 September 2010: Porn is not the problem.
re: He was wonderful at the start, but then he seemed to stop caring.
....Your problem is that neither of you know exactly how to make a good, loving, trusting, respectful relationship but you can learn how. google: ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel that by men constantly watching porn means that they will never be really happy with a real partner?
Q. Does anyone else feel that by men constantly watching porn means that they will never be really happy with a real partner? Of course most wives will never be as attractive as skinny teen porn stars - because they are not teenage any longer, pert boo...
A. 17 September 2010: Your problem is NOT porn and your children KNOW IT.
Your problem is (mostly) your own low/bad self esteem and self worth which your children can see loud and clear.
Your first step is to get to work improving your own self worth and then take on ... (read in full...)
my boyfriend is demanding! what do I do?
Q. I think my boyfriend is getting to be demanding and somewhat bossy. He's really good to me, has a sweet and passionate side but sometimes, he wants things exactly his way. I'm not liking it at all. I confronted him about it once and he told me to ...
A. 17 September 2010: You have to have the self confidence and strength to stand up to him (and everyone) right as the incident occurs or shortly after so he can't say "I don't remember". This takes a little knowledge (google: relationship tips) and a lot of practice ... (read in full...)
I cheated and now boyfriend is still so jealous! Is this normal?
Q. iN THE past i cheated on my bf various times, n he forgave me, but now, he is extremly jealous, iff i dont call him every day, he gets upset, n if i delete a post on facebook, he thinks im hiding something. What do I do, is this normal?? Enough time ...
A. 17 September 2010: Jealousy is ALWAYS about personal insecurity and low/bad self esteem/worth. He needs to get into some kind of self confidence training (google: self worth) and then MAYBE he will be able to get over your cheating - MAYBE.... (read in full...)
My good huband hired a prositute while away at Police training.
Q. MY husband went to Police trainging for a week in another state, the 1st night there he hung out with the other single cops from his job who spoke of prostitutes, he claimed he got him thinking and by night he had a prostitute come to his hotel room ...
A. 17 September 2010: FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN who are the real losers in this, get into some kind of counseling or
take your kids and GET OUT.
Kids deserve the best parental role models you can give them.... (read in full...)
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