A
female
age
26-29,
*akia2014
writes:So..I'm dating this guy, and he's really sweet and nice, and I think he's really hott. But I just don't feel pretty enough to be with him. I asked him if he could change anything about me, what would it be, and he said he'd make me have bigger boobs and a better butt. Which made me feel like crap!! He tells me all the time how pretty I am, but I'm just scared he's going to just one day, decide I'm not very pretty at all and don't have a good enough body..What should I do?
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male
reader, jimrich +, writes (21 September 2010):
re: What should I do?
... Fix your very bad/low self esteem and sour self respect.
google: self worth and get started feeling and being your best regardless of what your body is like!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (21 September 2010):
 I was asked that question once, and replied "nothing at all." She got mad at me for "lying." As Jmtmj pointed out, it's a loaded question - any answer is potentially "wrong," so he may as well make a joke of it.
Did you feel pretty enough before you asked him that question? If so, you're *still* pretty enough, and making a mountain out of this molehill.
If you did not ever feel pretty enough, then you need to stop obsessing over over your insecurities. If you keep acting like you're not hot enough, he's going to pick up on that. He likes you now; be happy with it.
If you're still unhappy, then just remember that you're 13-15, and still growing and changing. Give your body a chance to finish before you get upset about it.
As a side note, if I ever get asked that question again, I'm answering, "I wish you were heiress to the Rockefeller fortune."
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 If you ask a loaded question, expect a loaded reply.
Pretty jerky answer if he wasn't joking tho..
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A
female
reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 He could have been joking. My bf actually does that ..... like he'll joke around ... but now it's i'd make your boobs smaller cause I went from a B - a D in one summer. But he could be joking. He is with you because he likes you and he probably thought your question was ridiculous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): I don't think you should put a lot of weight on what he said in response to your question. He's with you because he likes you. You do have to be cautious when asking questions like that because you just might not like the answer you get. He could've stroked your ego by saying "not a thing" but with your low self-esteem you wouldn't have accepted that answer anyway. No one's perfect. He thinks you're pretty. Savor that. And try building up your self-confidence by focusing on the positive things about yourself.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 That was a ridiculously jerky obnoxious thing to say. However, if he says he thinks you're pretty, he thinks you're pretty. He's not going to wake up one morning all of a sudden and change his mind. He already knows what you look like and if he didn't like it, he wouldn't be with you.
I'm a little worried that he'd actually tell you to your face that he thinks you would look better with bigger boobs and a "better" butt, but honesty is always good (I asked my guy if I was putting on weight and he said, well yeah, it's noticeable I guess). So long as he isn't putting you down regularly, as in when you don't ask for it, I wouldn't worry. I think a lot of guys kind of have the mentality of, if she asks she wants to know. Whereas in girl world when we ask if we look fat we get a "friend honest" response.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 You should stop doing this to yourself. Never mind what he said, you were the one who just had to ask. You might as well ask him to mention at least 10 things that are annoying about you. But why on earth would you do that.
He says you are pretty. Thats what he thinks. He does NOT think you need bigger boobs or better butt. Thats what you were digging at. Of course, everyone could change this or that, and we are not forced to love every tidy little bit of the other. What is important is that we love them for who they are, and find them attractive. Which he does. You feeling you aren't pretty enough is a product of your own imagination. Be in control of yourself.
What you need to do is stop focusing on the little things, and definitely stop digging for negative things about yourself. Don't let his opinions set the criterium for how you should feel about yourself, and as soon as you start valuing your own opinion over the opinion of others, you will feel much better about yourself.
So dare to be a little selfish. You like this guy? You think he is hot? Well then enjoy, you deserve it. And to top it off he thinks you are very pretty. Believe in it. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Truth is, he's not good enough to be with YOU. What kind of boyfriend tells their girlfriend they'd change their boobs and butt if they had the chance. He'd have to be a complete asshole I'm afraid.
If he loved you or liked you at all he would of said 'nothing at all, obviously'. No wonder you feel like crap!
You're boyfriend has no respect for you what so ever. You should find someone who really loves you for who you are.
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