Boyfriend takes me forgranted! It needs to stop!
Q. I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and lately I have been feeling like he doesn't consider my feelings at all, he just takes me for granted. For example, at the weekend he will make all kinds of plans, expecting me to join him in all of t...
A. 3 September 2013: Answer: Tell him. If throughout your whole relationship, you've been the 'traditional' girl, he's not going to think you're going to behave any other way but traditionally. The only way he will fully understand is if you pick up your courage and... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 3 September 2013: Maybe you like men a lot less then you think, instead, liking the acceptance that you get for being in a heterosexual relationship instead of a homosexual one.
If you find yourself gravitating towards women instead of men, don't hold yourself... (read in full...)
Rhetorical question: is this true love?
Q. Imagine a situation: An average-looking guy meets a girl that suffers from some light physical handicap (that also includes some dis-figuration like a scar on her face). Supposedly, the girl does not get any attention from other guys becaus...
A. 3 September 2013: I wouldn't want you no matter how great you look, if you're a jerk.
True love = when you respect and love both yourself and your partner.
Don't make the assumption that people who aren't normally considered good looking, are desperate and wi... (read in full...)
He told me I shouldn't try to wear a bikini again! Yet he looks at porn when I'm out of the house! Am I wrong to take this to heart?
Q. My stomach was severely covered in stretch marks after having our first baby. Its been 3 years and I've worked really hard to get back down to my college weight. So I said something to my husband about trying to get back into a bikini. He told me ...
A. 3 September 2013: He's your husband but that doesn't mean his opinion is the be all and end all. If you're proud of your work, then you are fully in your right when you want to show it off. Go for it.
If he can't appreciate your effort, then he's the unlucky ... (read in full...)
I'm the older sister at the younger sister's wedding and I need advice on how to deal with the intrusive questions!
Q. My younger sister and her fiance are getting married in december, (interstate.) As well as their friends, and my brother and his family some extended family members,are also travelling to attend, its not a big wedding about 60 ppl. I am si...
A. 3 September 2013: Say you enjoy single life, and that you haven't yet found someone worthy enough to spend most of your free time with :) Being single can be fun too.... (read in full...)
He's moved back in with an ex and says he needs to spend days or weeks without me so he can miss me. Huh?
Q. A man and woman have been living together on and off for four years; the man moved out a year ago, however they have maintained contact and have stated they both want to work on the relationship and renew it.. the man had no place to go (he has no ...
A. 3 September 2013: This sounds dodgy at best. Leave. You and your concerns should be his top priority if he's a loving boyfriend.... (read in full...)
I feel I am too intimidating .....
Q. I feel like i am too intimidating to guys and therefore they dont talk/approach me. I have a general 'don't mess with me/i am my own person' attitude that lets boys know that if the try to mess me around like they do to other girls i just won...
A. 30 August 2013: Don't change. If a guy just wants a pushover, then he's the wrong guy. Keep looking.... (read in full...)
I regret recommending my friend for a job at my workplace
Q. This is not a relationship question but it's something that is really weighing on my mind. I recently met this girl around my age. We got on well and my first impression of her was good. My boss has been looking for someone to fill a position at ...
A. 29 August 2013: Yes, ultimately it was your boss who hired her. He made the decision to hire her AFTER he interviewed her. Your boss might trust your judgement but he obviously understood that his own judgement was needed, otherwise he wouldn't have conducted the ... (read in full...)
My g/f makes me wait hours between texts. I don't like her behavior!
Q. hi guys. a few nights ago, my girlfriend came home after spending the night with one of her friends. she texted me "heeey" with a smiley face to let me know she was back. and i replied in about 10 seconds or so. then she disappeared for ...
A. 29 August 2013: OP:
I think you need to find something to do when you aren't physically with your girlfriend.
Texting may be a form of communication, but it isn't a substitute for a phone call or a face-to-face convo. In fact, people text because they can... (read in full...)
I am hurt that my boyfriend of 4 years is going on a 3-month music tour without consulting this with me!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years is a music teacher, and I just found out he has agreed to go on a 3 month tour with his friend's band (their normal bassist can't do it) without thinking to discuss it with me. I am so hurt! Surely after 4 years this is so...
A. 30 July 2013: I don't believe that you must be married to voice your opinion on your partner's decisions. Take people who get married within a few months of meeting each other as an example. They'll hardly have as much love and respect for each other as a couple ... (read in full...)
After a month boyfriend wants to have sex but I don't think I'm ready yet
Q. Ok, i have known my boyfriend for a month now he wants to have sex in a way i do too but then i realize im not ready. What should i do?...
A. 26 July 2013: Tell him he can wait until you're ready or he can leave. Time to see how committed he is.... (read in full...)
He didn't tell me at first that he had kids even though I specified I didn't want to date someone with kids. Now what?
Q. Well I met my boyfriend online over a month ago. I specifically said I don't want someone with kids. I was seeing him for about 2 weeks when we decided to make it official then he told me he has 2 kids. I let it go because at the time I thought I ...
A. 26 July 2013: Unless you believe you can love his kids as much as you will love your own babies, then don't get involved. They will feel your distance and they will resent you for it. This may lead to the kids convincing their father to leave you, or this may ... (read in full...)
What are your opinions when it comes to friends having surgery
Q. If someone say an ex girlfriend, someone you're friends with, or know really well got a nose job what would you think of them? Taking into consideration that their nose was bumpy, hooked and too big for their face... Would you think any differ...
A. 18 June 2013: Honestly? The surgically enhanced body part will be discussed once or twice, mainly about why the person decided to do it and how they felt now, and then I'll leave it at that. Surgery isn't my thing but I can understand if someone else wan... (read in full...)
Do you think I should even try to have a friends with benefits relationship with him or is that just setting myself up to get heartbroken again?
Q. Hi all, 3 years ago I started dating a Marine. We grew up near each other and were friends for several years before we started dating. We did the long distance thing for about a year when he started asking me to relocate (across country) to marr...
A. 18 June 2013: OP, it shouldn't take sex for some guy to realise how great you are. You shouldn't just have sex with him, hoping that he'll eventually fall deeply in love with you.
Personally, I think a FWB situation is not a great idea, because as you've s... (read in full...)
Should I write to my ex or not?
Q. I left a 5 year on-off relationship about 20 months ago. He was seeing other women. I said I will stay friends but I read few articles about 'no contact rules' to heal myself so I followed it and have been fine. I am fine as I had closure. ...
A. 28 May 2013: You've been dating this guy for 5 years, do you not have his mother's contact details already? Do you know her address? Email? Phone? Is there any other way to get her details without going through him? If you must email him, just make it clear that ... (read in full...)
My Bf claims a supportive girlfriend would stay awake with him everytime he can't sleep, How can I best support him?
Q. Hi all, my problem is simple I need to know how to stay awake even when I'm really tired. My boyfriend has trouble sleeping and I really don't understand it because he says he can never sleep but by the time I wake up he's swaying back and forth a...
A. 12 March 2013: That's very over the top of him to expect that you should stay awake when he can't sleep. Sure you might do it a few times because you love him, but this behaviour isn't sustainable. Likewise, if he loves you he'll let you at least get a good nights ... (read in full...)
Am I Bi? Is it possible to become straight?
Q. So I'm a 15 year old male. I've always considered myself straight and have been oddly sexually-obsessed before I even knew what sex was. I've always been very into girls. (That still weirds me out.) But recently I realized that I used to enjoy ...
A. 12 March 2013: I've never heard of anyone becoming straight. It could be possible, I don't know.
Thing is, I reckon there's a spectrum with heterosexual on one end and homosexual on the other. Personally, I think people are scattered all over the scale. They mig... (read in full...)
Could I actually be held accountable for her ending her life by her own hand and free will?
Q. Hello everyone. Well I've been getting close to a woman online for about 5 months, we got along great and were planning to continue getting to know each other and see where things lead. However, last week I found out she is married with 3 c...
A. 12 March 2013: I wouldn't think you'd be held accountable.
I mean, you have proof right? "She has continued to message me" which seems to imply that you have something from her (letter, email, instant messaging logs) which says she is threatening to commit s... (read in full...)
After being together for years I find out something about my wife that has shaken my trust in her to the core! I don't know how to deal with this
Q. 13 years ago, I met a wonderful woman in University who has now been my wife for 8 years. We have kids (with another on the way) and are happy however recently, during a discussion she elaborated on a story of how she hooked with one of her past ...
A. 12 March 2013: Look, you guys made the 15th a special date. Can I ask you, on the 15th thirteen years ago, did you know the 15th was going to be a big date? No. You guys only decided that the 15th was important after spending some time together. She regrets it NOW ... (read in full...)
I just want to find a girl for myself. Is this not possible?
Q. I have been trying to find someone to be with for the last six years and sadly it has never worked out. I have tried dating several females during this time but it never seems to go right,I caught the first girl cheating on me with four other ...
A. 11 March 2013: Maybe you are looking at the wrong type of girls to start a relationship with. Sure the hardcore party girls look really hot and fun to be around with, but maybe they aren't the best people to expect a long, loving relationship with. Anyway, you ... (read in full...)
Why does this man chose to stay around? I'm having hard times and I'm not especially nice!
Q. I have a great guy I have been seeing for a year. He has a job, a gorgeous daughter and is very responsible. He is caring and very good to me and tries to help and support me in everything he can. The problem is I lost my house, my job and now rece...
A. 11 March 2013: Maybe he feels like he needs to take care of you. Maybe he is giving you a certain amount of time to pull yourself out of this hole before he makes the decision to leave. If you love him, you would dump the alcohol. It's not exactly the most ... (read in full...)
No flowers on Valentine's day, but flowers for his ex's birthday??
Q. this past valentines day was the first me and my boyfriend spent together, I was going to buy him something, but we talked about it ahead of time, and he said he didn't really subscribe to the idea of valentines day, and so i shouldn't expect a gift ...
A. 11 March 2013: No gifts on Valentine's day is understandable if he doesn't agree with the consumerist ways of the day. At least he was sort of compromising with you (who likes Valentines) by giving you more affection. It is possible that he gives gifts to h... (read in full...)
Do I look for sexual pleasure elsewhere since my wife has no interest?
Q. We are both 60, very active and coming up to 30 years of marriage but we haven't had sex for three to four months. She has become very sore down below and despite visits to the doctor things are not getting better. Understandably perhaps her ...
A. 11 March 2013: Maybe you should check out a different doctor. Not all doctors know or want to do anything sex related. It's only recently that doctors are trying to understand more about sex problems so you might have just gone to a doctor who has no idea yet. I ... (read in full...)
My husband's friendship with a co-worker has escalated. Now that I know he wants to still stay friends with her. I said no. Am I wrong?
Q. My husband's friendship with a co-worker has escalated to kissing and pet names and intimate vocabulary via emails. We recently became friends as couples and have enjoy their company on a few occasions. Upon noticing unusual private conversa...
A. 11 March 2013: I would say that you are not wrong.
If he maintains contact with this lady, he might never get over her and things might escalate.
I would also add: "I could not look at her after seeing the intimate emails". This was a two-person affai... (read in full...)
Is this normal? I feel less able to stand up for myself because my Bf always likes to be right. Plus I'm insecure about this girl flirting with him. What can I do?
Q. Hi ive been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I don't know whether im definitely happy with him, but he's always saying he loves me and wants to marry me an how i'm his soulmate and hes been saying these things since we started going out! He seems...
A. 11 March 2013: If you can't make your opinion heard in a relationship, then I can't say that your partner is interested in you as a person... Of course, there are a lot of people out there who do initially think they are right about something. This stubbornness is ... (read in full...)
I moved away to remove myself from a harsh lifestyle. So why do my family and friends, who are still there, now shun me when I try to make contact with them?
Q. Hello Cupid,I have lived in the state where I was born for many years but I decided I wanted to move on and see something new and different so I took it up on myself and left exboyfriends, friends, associates. The whole nine years behind me. Now t...
A. 11 March 2013: Has it been nine years since you contacted them? If you haven't kept in touch with them for so long, then you are just a stranger to them so of course there really isn't anything to talk about.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so over protective and possessive. How do I help him?
Q. My boyfriend has been soo possessive and over protective of me,that's just his nature..his mom told when I met his family over christmas that he is very possessive of the people he loves! I'm trying to understand his behavior but I fail.. He hates ...
A. 11 March 2013: I would sit him down and talk to him. Then sit him down with a therapist and talk to him.
Thing is, this behaviour is basically telling you he has ZERO trust in you. He thinks if you spend one minute with a guy, you'll be shagging him the next min... (read in full...)
After being together for years I find out something about my wife that has shaken my trust in her to the core! I don't know how to deal with this
Q. 13 years ago, I met a wonderful woman in University who has now been my wife for 8 years. We have kids (with another on the way) and are happy however recently, during a discussion she elaborated on a story of how she hooked with one of her past ...
A. 11 March 2013: You are overreacting.
1. This happened 13 years ago.
2. It happened the day after the first date. For most people, the first date doesn't matter until a few months/years later when they are still with the same person and look back at the firs... (read in full...)
Wanting to try a tampon for the first time.
Q. I'm going to the spring fling tomorrow and I'm on my period. I've never worn a tampon before but I feel like it would be a good idea to wear one instead of a pad. should I wear a tampon even though I'venever worn one before? I just want to do the ...
A. 9 March 2013: Tampons aren't really all that comfortable the first time you use them, usually because you're not sure how far it goes or how big the tampon should be etc. If you want to be comfortable, I would recommend pad. But if you want to try a tampon, try ... (read in full...)
How much do you share with your significant other about your work?
Q. My bf and I have very different jobs: I work for a very large corporation in management while he has a very manual job in a construction company. We talk a lot about our jobs and what happened at work and so on. While I get the type of environment ...
A. 9 March 2013: I usually tell him about the people. Sometimes I tell him about my projects as well, if something really interesting or frustrating happened in relation to it. When I tell him about my work, I give him the simplified story but him being a strange ... (read in full...)
I'm married, got drunk flirted with a girl at a bar and now can't stop the feelings! Help!
Q. I'm a happily married man who loves his wife very much. Last weekend I was in a bar and flirted quite a lot with a girl. Nothing happened which given my now sober state I'm very happy about. The problem, I can't stop thinking about it or the girl. ...
A. 8 March 2013: It seems like you've had a 'fun and excitement' drought, so the moment you've gotten some of it, you're addicted. Doesn't mean the girl at the bar was actually any good. Just means you want to revisit the good old young days or just do something ... (read in full...)
Am I important to him or is my money?
Q. My bf and i have been saving money for the weekends we spend together so at 1st he used it for buying a dog...but i didnt complain. so now i lost it by mistake because he made me hold it when i did not want to. so now he is so mad at me for ...
A. 8 March 2013: I agree. Save separately.
If saving together, both people get decide how it's spent i.e. you should have told him off for spending JOINT money on HIS decision.
Losing money is a bit different. You've lost this money and you guys don't get a... (read in full...)
I cheated on my wife but now she is getting close to a male friend
Q. ] Okay. So i kind of messed up. I had cheated on my wife 2 years ago. She got pregnant within a month of us meeting. I cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant, again right before the birth and when our son was 2 months old but it was all with...
A. 8 March 2013: She's probably made up her mind and there's nothing you can do to stop her.
When you realised you were bored with your marriage, you should have talked to her first to see if things could be fixed before making a 'new account'. She could probably... (read in full...)
Girls, how do you deal with flirty women around your boyfriend or spouse?
Q. I guess this question is more directed towards women. Have you ever dealt with those really flirty, skanky women who will not leave your partner alone? Do they not have morals? I was at a party with my fiancee and a couple of his friends last ...
A. 8 March 2013: I would say that it's up to your fiancee to tell her to knock it off. If you tell her, she'll either become smug knowing you're feeling insecure or she'll lash out at you and redouble her efforts. See how your boyfriend responds to her. If you're ... (read in full...)
My husband wants sex and I don’t. I love my husband. I just don’t want to have sex with him.
Q. My problem is a little embarrassing, but it’s causing a lot of trouble in my marriage. My husband wants sex and I don’t. I love my husband. I just don’t want to have sex with him. It has gotten to the point I dread the weekend because I know...
A. 7 March 2013: "I have to wonder if he loves me at all or if sex is all that he wants from me." Well he could very well be thinking "I have to wonder if she loves me at all because she shows absolutely no sign of desiring me". I understand that women do exp... (read in full...)
Should I get the morning after pill? Or am I just being silly?
Q. I had sex on Wednsday night, I'm almost 100% certain we used a condom but I cant be certain as we had both been drinking. My period started today but I'm still worrying about being pregnant although the chances are really slim . I'm thinking of ...
A. 5 March 2013: That's good you got the pill. Were you still within the working time frame of the pill though? You might still want to take that test just in case. Also, I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but you ovulate in-between periods, not in the middle ... (read in full...)
She wants a nick name but I'm not sure which one to use?
Q. Hello i,m a male aged 51 and going on a date soon, the woman calls me hun ( short for honey i presume ) she said , she wants me to call her something nice, i,ve got a list of nice nicknames to call her, but not sure which one to use in ...
A. 5 March 2013: I agree, a nickname should come naturally and actually match the person you are giving it to, so you do need to know her better first. My partner calls me guinea pig from time to time because of the way I eat french fries hands-free. It's not ... (read in full...)
Should I get the morning after pill? Or am I just being silly?
Q. I had sex on Wednsday night, I'm almost 100% certain we used a condom but I cant be certain as we had both been drinking. My period started today but I'm still worrying about being pregnant although the chances are really slim . I'm thinking of ...
A. 2 March 2013: If in doubt, get the pill. Even if you used a condom, there's no guarantee you guys put it on properly to begin with or checked for spills or tears after intercourse. The sooner you take the morning after pill, the more effective it is.
The b... (read in full...)
Leaving without telling my mum?
Q. Hi guys, I'll try keep this short. I'm a 19 year old Asian girl who just moved to another state because my mother found out she had cancer. It was a rushed move and the doctor confirmed that it wasn't even 'true cancer' to start with (mea...
A. 1 March 2013: Hi there again :) I'm glad you decided to go through with this! No, this doesn't make you a bad person. If you had stayed instead, you would have forced yourself to go into seclusion for longer and longer periods of time, and that would probably ... (read in full...)
Should I accept being the messenger between my divorced parents or should I just put my foot down and refuse to get involved? And how do I deal with my fathers behavior?
Q. I'm going crazy. My parents divorced (not officially yet) a month ago, and they both expect me to be the messenger between them. When they separated, my mom told me some things that I felt were very hurtful, so I didn't feel the need to talk to ...
A. 1 March 2013: No you should not be the messenger. Tell your parents if they can't communicate with each other directly, use a lawyer to do it because this is affecting your mental well-being.
Also, you are living in the house so you should help in the cleaning... (read in full...)
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