A
male
age
41-50,
*aiser75
writes:I'm a happily married man who loves his wife very much. Last weekend I was in a bar and flirted quite a lot with a girl. Nothing happened which given my now sober state I'm very happy about. The problem, I can't stop thinking about it or the girl. The feeling of fun and excitement was great and that feeling of something new is not something that's easy to recreate after a long relationship.I've been down all week because of it and I just want to stop feeling this way. It's crazy that I do feel this way.If anyone could tell me how to snap out of this I'd much appreciate it.Thanks.
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (8 March 2013):
 Sounds like ur bored in ur marriage n needed some excitement. With time youll stop thinkin about her. You sound like a little girl. Avoid alcohol n these situations. Be smart.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): Take your wife to the same bar and do somewhat flirting
Leave the wedding rings at home. By her a sexy dress and go for it.
After that go and buy fifty shades of grey the
Book. Try some of that stuff too.
...............................
A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (8 March 2013):
 It seems like you've had a 'fun and excitement' drought, so the moment you've gotten some of it, you're addicted. Doesn't mean the girl at the bar was actually any good. Just means you want to revisit the good old young days or just do something new. Time to talk to your wife and arrange some sexy time. Ha, the role play idea by female anonymous is good. You can replay the bar scene, but with your wife instead. And have a hotel room booked. Just arrange for something fun different to be done regularly and I'm sure you'll feel better.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (7 March 2013):
 If you want to join the legions of people who cheat on their spouse just for a quick thrill, you also have to be prepared to accept the huge torrent of crap that comes with it.
Separation, divorce, CSA, child maintenance, inspection of your wages, child access arrangements, coping with the extended family interferance, losing your home, dividing up the assets...your cd collection and who gets to keep the TV. The cost of a divorce ranges from £3000 to anything up to £80,000 depending on how much wrangling takes place. Selling your car because you can no longer afford to run it. While you are going through this you also have to cope with the heartbreak and suffering of your beloved abandoned wife (and kids if you have them)
Then lets move onto getting into a new relationship...finding someone without baggage or who will cope with your baggage, someone who will accept your kids being around on the weekend who will resist the urge to tell you how to raise them if they dont like your kids in the first place.
Then there is all the shit you find out about people you might rush into a new relationship with (because you panic about being alone)...things like a concealed history of debt or domestic abuse, their propensity to flirt with other people (which is why they got dumped in the first place)...the drink problem or simply their pulling away from you after 3 months because they decide you're not for them after all (you have to learn how to cope with square one...A LOT).
Then there are the serial cheats (yes some women do this and they are just as good as men at concealing it...except with more screaming begging and crying when they get found out) or the women who are only interested in the wedge in your pocket (and I don't mean your penis)...the amount of gold digger women out there is shamefully out of control.
Then you have their ex's to deal with on occasion and they might be big guys...with huge fists...or machine guns and a psychotic disorder!!!
If you think I am making a joke, the sad truth is I am not. There are some seriously fucked up people in the world (mostly on internet dating sites and hanging round in bars)who will shred your life from your soul and the numbers are growing. So if you are thinking how quick or easy it would be to lie or cheat on your wife or end things completely to satiate that little quiver of excitement in your trouser department, you need to suck up a huge whiff of the reality of the situation first.
(and your point about not being able to create any new excitement with your oh so loved wife is actually a load of BS...that's just 'lazy, I want my own way excuse' talking)
Good marriages and loving partners are hard to find and anyone who tears apart a loving union just because they are bored is, in my opinion, a damned fool!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013): I very much agree with CMMP. It's too easy to fall into the same old routine with your significant other after a number of years. Do something together you've never done before. Do something you've been meaning to, but you haven't gotten around to it. It's not the girl at the bar you want, and you know it. So I think simply trying something new with your wife will instantly make you forget this other girl even exists.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (7 March 2013):
I'm not sure that anything other than a little more time will work.
You and your wife should start learning new things together. Apparently there is a sort of chemical reaction that occurs when you learn with someone that can strengthen your bond and give you a feeling of newness.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013): why don't you try recreating that feeling with your wife, do you still go on many dates? try and court her again. Or maybe try some role play where you pretend you're strangers meeting in a bar.
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (7 March 2013):
Dont go there with this girl you love your wife so please stay steady. Plan a romantic weekend for you and your wife ,take her our for a nice meal.Rekindle the love that you both have for each other.Look there is no harm in being tempted but dont RISK your marraige its not worth it in the end Best Luck Nora B,
...............................
|
