A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: So I'm a 15 year old male. I've always considered myself straight and have been oddly sexually-obsessed before I even knew what sex was. I've always been very into girls. (That still weirds me out.) But recently I realized that I used to enjoy seeing other guys' dicks in the changing rooms. I checked out some nude images of guys to see if I felt anything. I did. So I initially came to the conclusion that I was bisexual. But I've realized the past few weeks that I'm really only into dicks, but not guys. I have no attraction to other guys in any way unless they're nude. Girls, on the other hand, I find attractive with or without clothes on. There are girls who I've liked emotionally. I feel like I could go on a date with a girl, but if I went with a guy it's just be like hanging out with a friend. So I'm really confused. And my second question is whether or not it's possible to become straight from being bi. My whole family is atheist, so I don't have religeous pressure. All my friends are liberal and have no issue with the LGTB crowd. So it's not because I feel pressured. I just feel like life would be easier if I could just be like most teenage guys. Is it possible?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
you sound perfectly normal and healthy to me
at your age you are supposed to question your sexuality and figure it out... that's what being a teen is all about.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 March 2013):
i think you are just like most teenage guys. i don't think what you're feeling is really any different than some guys who are honest with themselves feel. i know a ton of straight women who check girls out but would never act on it. it's just that they think they have pretty boobs or a nice ass, etc. it's kind of the same principle here. i just think you're one step ahead of the game by being self-aware and trying to figure yourself out rather than doing what a lot of guys do and act like they've never felt the way you describe.
you don't have to know exactly who you are just yet. you've got plenty of time. but based on what you say, you definitely sound pretty straight. maybe you'll hook up with guys just for sexual purposes a time or two, but only date and have significant relationships with women. who knows? only time will tell.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 March 2013):
Go with the flow. Do what feels natural and don't worry about being normal, because for many people normal is just who they present to the world. It's not like guys go around and say to each other, "hey did you see John's dick? It's very nice." So for all you know you're the only person in the world that has this undefined sexuality. The truth is that a TON of people are in a similar situation as you. Dear cupid is filled with people asking similar questions.
As you get older you may find yourself experimenting to try and find out more about yourself. If it feels okay then do it, if it doesn't, don't.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): "But I've realized the past few weeks that I'm really only into dicks, but not guys."
Similarly, girls your age are attentive to other girl's breasts in a comparative way, not necessarily in an emotional way.
Sex obsessed?
Obsessively comparing yourself to others in your own gender?
Hate to break it to you, but you DO sound like most teenage guys (or teenagers for that matter). Perhaps they don't admit it or they don't question themselves as thoughtfully as you do, but I don't think you have to worry about pigeon holing yourself quite yet as bi or straight.
Is it possible to be straight(ish) from being bi(ish)? Yes. But I think it's a question that comes from pressure to define yourself. And at this point, I don't think you have enough experiences to do that. My advice, is not to be afraid, try things out with either gender when it feels natural and see.
Hate to disappoint whatever assumptions you had about yourself, but you sound completely normal :)
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts +, writes (12 March 2013):
I've never heard of anyone becoming straight. It could be possible, I don't know.
Thing is, I reckon there's a spectrum with heterosexual on one end and homosexual on the other. Personally, I think people are scattered all over the scale. They might be more likely to be heterosexual than homosexual, so while it's easier for them to find the opposite sex attractive, sometimes there are members of the same sex who also elicit the same reaction. I think you are one of them... So between heterosexual and bisexual on the scale of sexuality; sort of like me :P I would consider your case to be more common than other cases, so I wouldn't worry too much about trying to convert yourself into a 100% straight man.
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