A
female
age
30-35,
*aribo158
writes:I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and lately I have been feeling like he doesn't consider my feelings at all, he just takes me for granted. For example, at the weekend he will make all kinds of plans, expecting me to join him in all of these (in our culture, girlfriends aren't really supposed to speak to bf's friends, meaning I sit in silence for the entire weekend), without ever asking me if I had plans/wanted to do something else etc. At home, he mostly does what he wants to do, ie watch tv, or message with all of his friends on his phone, once he's bored with this he will finally pay me attention. Also some days he will play basketball after work, and will call me around 5/6 just telling me he won't be back till late. I don't object to him hanging out with friends, watching tv, or playing basketball but he does these things when he wants, for however long he wants to without ever thinking about me, whereas I will make certain small sacrifices here and there out of consideration for him!I know he does love me, but his behaviour can be so inconsiderate! Please note, I'm a fairly traditional girl who doesn't like to nag men or tell them what to do, hence he doesn't actually know that I'm unhappy with his behaviour-my fault I know!So my question is, how do I get him to stop taking me for granted?!
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (3 September 2013):
Invent a mind reading app for his cell phone. If you can't do that you'll have to talk with him.
Here's the important thing: think about everything you want to say, then tell him that you feel sad and lonely and like he doesn't care about you when these things happen.
If he dismisses what you're telling him, then be prepared to leave him. Yes, I'm serious. If someone doesn't care about how you feel you can either leave them or spend the rest of your life being miserable.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2013): Hi, sounds like a normal guy to me, would this be any different if you were not living with him? Also I would opt for him being busy with friends and games rather than bored and entertained by other woman. Remember some people have certain habits and don't change just because they are living together. The best you can do is talk to him and see if he can compromise
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (3 September 2013):
 Answer: Tell him. If throughout your whole relationship, you've been the 'traditional' girl, he's not going to think you're going to behave any other way but traditionally. The only way he will fully understand is if you pick up your courage and tell him so.One time I was washing the dishes and my boyfriend walked off to play on his phone. I went right up to him and said "You will help me wash the dishes". Now he washes the dishes with or without me.
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