Is it realistic to expect a guy in his 20's to be content with taking things slow?
Q. I've been reading lots of questions and answers on here and there seems to be a general consensus that if a guy truly likes you as a person and is interested in pursuing a relationship with you he will wait for sex/intimacy, won't pressure you and ...
A. 15 May 2009: Of course there are guys out there that will go slow just as there are guys out there that will dump ya if they don't get what they want. Having said that, you don't want them anyway especially if you're in it for more than just a physical ... (read in full...)
He isn't there for me when I need him but I'm always there for him... what do I do?
Q. Please Help Me! I broke up with my bf two weeks ago after he asked me for money and said he wouldnt talk to me. My mother passed away a few days later. I didnt contact him to tell him because he has never been there when I needed him only when he ...
A. 15 May 2009: It would seem to me that the majority of your relationship with him was very one-sided.
I think once the initial pain subsides (and I have a feeling it won't be long) you will see how much better off you are without him and his unreciprocated love... (read in full...)
New feelings, renew the relationship?
Q. Me and this girl, we've known each other for like long than I can remember, we're best friends, back in 06 round february time we broke up after a 9 month relationship witch ripped us both appart for quite a while, we're both close again, then early ...
A. 15 May 2009: There's no harm in asking.
You've probably both grown in the last couple years. Maybe it's worth trying again?
You won't know unless you try.
Good Luck.
Bella xoxo... (read in full...)
Should I hire a PI to follow my wife???
Q. I found 2 texts on my wife's phone. 1 sent to her, and 1 was her reply. I checked her contact list and the text was from a guy named Jim. That's it, only Jim in her contact phonebook. His text was 'so, how do you like my hang-down?' My wife's reply ...
A. 15 May 2009: I'd suggest talking with her.
Have you noticed anything different about her? Typically when a partner cheats or even entertains the idea, there are clues, if you're paying attention...
You know her best, so only you can analyze her properly... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm living in a nightmare.
Q. Hi everyone just looking for a bit of reassurance again. Me and my boyfriend of 5 years have been apart for 6 months now, but I'm not handling it well at all. It was my choice to end it, and now I feel like I'm being punished. I'm on ...
A. 15 May 2009: I think we have all been where you are at least once... It's a very very difficult time, and I remember the feeling well. The good news is, it passes. Slowly, but surely...
I'll tell you what helped me...I kept a journal. I wrote about my feel... (read in full...)
Boring relationship!
Q. I am in a relationship with a girl that is really boring and talks a lot about herself, she likes spamming me with text messages during school. post your comments on what to do please...
A. 15 May 2009: Just tell her that you are not getting out of the relationship what you had hoped to. You're not doing yourself or her any favors by staying in it. You both deserve to be happy and pretending it's alright stands in the way of both you finding ... (read in full...)
The meaning of love - please help - I am confused?
Q. OK is what i would like to know what is the difference between in love with you and I love you? The reason that i ask that is that some times my husband will tell me that he loves me but he is not in love with me so what does that mean??...
A. 15 May 2009: I think the explanation really lies within your husband. I say that simply because love in and of itself can mean different things to different people. I would be curious to know if he says it to you as a way to explain why things are "different" in ... (read in full...)
After 2 years why do I still feel heartbroken?
Q. Hi everyone. A lot of you will know about me and my first relationship. It was long distance and it lasted for 2 years (read more about it on my profile). I've recently signed into MSN messenger for the first time since I last spoke to my ex b...
A. 14 May 2009: You're letting go in stages and that's ok. Sometimes the best way to do it... gradually and as you're ready. But that means each time you decide to let go alittle more, you're reminded of just what it is you're letting go of all over again. Don't ... (read in full...)
Do I just need to move on from this girl?
Q. Hello Everyone I need some help here. OK. I was dating my girlfriend, i met her and she was a stripper and a model. I was into it for the looks at first then it got more serious and i told her to quit stripping and she would give me the excuse of ...
A. 14 May 2009: It seems pretty clear that the two of you were growing in different directions. That in itself is a difficult challenge to overcome, but when there are trust issue to combat as well, it's near impossible. I think you should leave things as they are... (read in full...)
I want to have lots of sex and willing to cheat for it
Q. I'm tempted to cheat on my husband, we've been married for less than a year. While dating we had great sex but now he's not into sex like before and I'm horny all the time. I met a guy and we've talking about sex a lot, he wants me to meet him at a ...
A. 14 May 2009: First, stop talking to other "guys" as you're committing emotional adultry, then call your HUSBAND and tell him you're horny and that you want to meet him at a hotel and when he gets there, f*ck his brains out!! ... You didn't say that your problem ... (read in full...)
He loves me, but wants to be single....need advice to tame my alpha male
Q. We have 4 kids and my husband wants to leave me :'( I am not looking for people to tell me he is not worth it so please just don't. I have heard it enough times and maybe it is true but I think he is. He sais he still loves me , but he wants...
A. 14 May 2009: You stated in your first paragraph that you don't want to hear that he's not worth it, so I'll respect your wishes and not say it. HOWEVER, have you stopped to think about what YOU are worth?
No one can do anything to you that you don't give them... (read in full...)
Sexually incompatible but everything else in our marriage is good!
Q. My wife and I have been married for ten years. All 'n all we have a good relationship, except our sex lives. I'd like some "outside perspectives" over what the problem(s) might be, and what others have expereinced, so I appreciate your feedback. ...
A. 14 May 2009: Wow, your posting has certainly generated a great deal of chatter.
I honestly don't know if what I tell you will help or has any relevance, but it's worth a shot...
I have a difficult time understanding why a woman (or man for that matter) would lo... (read in full...)
Am I really in love with him? What if I am....
Q. i met my friend at the carnival one day and well we went on rides and her mom talked to my dad saying i was coming over the next day.so the next day came and she brought her boyfriend.when i saw him i couldn't stop staring at him he was absolutely ...
A. 14 May 2009: Nothing.
He's your best friend's boyfriend!
He hasn't given you any reason to think he has an interest in you and even if he had, so what? He's unavailable.
Find some other gorgeous guy to fantasize about.
Let your best friend enjoy her boyfri... (read in full...)
I jumped to the conclusion that he had female company over at our house....did I over-react?
Q. My boyfriend and i live together,yesterday i had the day off from work,i worked overtime yesterday so i got home around 8pm. I usually leave pajamas in the bathroom so when im ready for them i know exactly where they are. To my surprise when i came ...
A. 14 May 2009: My initial response, based soley on what you have told us, is hell yeah! Why would you have any reason to believe that there was a female there, and if there were, what's the big deal? He's either given you serious reason to doubt his fidelity or ... (read in full...)
20 year old girl in love with my same sex best friend.
Q. i am split in 2 different directions at the moment. im in love with my bestfriend. she is the most wonderful caring loving women i have ever met. has been by my side through everything. would drop everything if i call. im constantly doing my best to ...
A. 14 May 2009: Some say that the best way to truly love someone (especially when we know we are only hurting them) is to let them go. I think this would apply to your situation.
You have two choices:
Either get your feelings for her under control so that she is f... (read in full...)
Why is she being like this and doing this?
Q. i was with a girl for over 1 year, and the othere day she broke up with ma. we was on the phone and we had a little bicker because she had to go home from work to get her stuf, so i asked her did she want to come down n see me, and she said she ...
A. 14 May 2009: Only she truly knows what she is thinking and feeling, but I would suggest that you leave it be.
Give her some time to think about how she feels and perhaps she will reconsider her decision.
If she does not, then you are better off to not be invol... (read in full...)
I'm really confused as to who he had an affair with..it just really surprises me!
Q. Dear cupid, I have asked for advice before but need your help once again. My husband was caught cheating and he confessed he had cheated 3 times altogether(married for 21 years),he said how wrong he had been and it will never happen again,we ...
A. 14 May 2009: You need to stop analyzing your marriage at this point and simply desolve it.
Your husband has clearly left the marriage a long time ago, you need to free yourself from this man so that you can start to rebuild your life and start a new one.
Does ... (read in full...)
Involved but I think I am in love with someone else
Q. I have been in a long term relationship for over 8 years (not married but feel like it). I love my partner dearly and sex is alright but I still have feelings (not sure what they are) for someone else. The thought of this person gives me butterf...
A. 14 May 2009: I think you will be sorry if you pursue your "butterflies"...
There will always be someone that crosses your path that makes you feel these sorts of things. We're human, temptation is present in most situations... I'm sure if you talked to your man,... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating again..what now?
Q. Hi everyone Well I will try and keep things short. I have been with my husband for 9 years married for 7. About 4 years ago he had an affair with a woman he worked with. It went on for about 2 years and we were apart. We got back together after al...
A. 14 May 2009: F*ck me over once, shame on you!
F*ck me over twice, shame on me!
Let that be your motto... He's made it very clear that he is who he is and if you can't accept that (nor should you) then you need to take control of your situation and change i... (read in full...)
Girlfriend entertaining 'dirty' chat from other man
Q. (Please see the 'Can you trust a serial cheater' thread for background details if needed) In summary, I am in a relationship that lacks trust. I have basically been forced to check up on my partners phone and email etc. in order to gain any trus...
A. 13 May 2009: Haven't you already got your answer?
You don't see a future with her so why make yourself (and her too, I'm sure) crazy??
Just let it go.
If it's been over a year and the trust issues are still so consuming, it will never get better. You either a... (read in full...)
Getting over someone you absolutely adore
Q. What is the best way to get over someone whom you love so very much , but they have lost all love for you?...
A. 13 May 2009: Time... I know it sounds cliche, but it's truly the only thing that works... you can help it along by staying busy, finding new intrests/hobbies, even dating someone new (sounds impossible, I know, but sometimes when you're distracted by another, ... (read in full...)
I seem to be overcome at times by these feelings and they are starting to take over my life. What can I do?
Q. I actually asked this very same question a few months ago but was wanting some more advice and have added to it. I am a seemingly normal happy 19 year old male with a loving family and a few friends. However I have a huge problem on my hands. My ...
A. 13 May 2009: At least you are capable of recognizing that there is an issue here. If I had to take a guess, it's a form of anxiety/panic attacks that you are experiencing when these episodes come on you.
My ex-brother-in-law suffered severly from anxiety and ... (read in full...)
Will he ever forgive me and take me back?
Q. On May 5th my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I feel like my wold has fallen apart, can't eat or sleep and the doctor has me on 3 types of tranqulisers.. Another couple that we had associated closely with split up 4 weeks ago - he just wasn't in l...
A. 13 May 2009: I agree with the majority of what these other posts have shared with you. I do think there is something more to his leaving or perhaps you didn't share all of the details (maybe your desperation has been aparent to him on more than one occassion??) ... (read in full...)
Cheating with a married man, but I know its not right
Q. i am 21yrs,in luv with a married man with 4 kids,my concience is now telling on me and i want to quit him but is pretty tough on both side cos he is more now like my best friend and i believe he loves me that he wish to marry me but i cant, cos of ...
A. 13 May 2009: I speak from personal experience when I tell you that this is a dead end road. I had a best friend too, once. Now we don't speak. We have nothing left between us other than bitterness and anger. I too knew his wife and thought highly of her as well. ... (read in full...)
Am I a stalker as she says I am?
Q. Would anyone here consider it like stalking if the person your with says they're somewhere and you drive by to really see if there are where they say? Especially if they've lied before? it blew up today with the girl i was seeing she said she was at ...
A. 12 May 2009: You shouldn't have to follow someone to know what they are doing. If she can't be honest with you, that's a problem. If you can't believe in her, bigger problem. If you have to spend your time and energy trying to convince yourself she's being ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to compare to his ex. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my bf/finace for a year but we met a few years before that. When we met all those years ago, he had just come out of a relationship with a girl. From what I have been told (by him), she was the first girl that he was very serious...
A. 12 May 2009: I hope I don't offend you, but it seems you are the one hung up on the ex, not your boyfriend.
Nothing that you said would lead anyone to think that he has carried anything from that relationship into the one he has with you.
Stop looking for prob... (read in full...)
Update: He is overly protective of his email and workplace
Q. Hi I was on here before about my boyfriend being over protective of his email and Blackberry. He viciously protects his office and the vicinity and wants me nowhere close. This is an update. He found that question here on DC, plus your a...
A. 12 May 2009: You don't have to "accept" anything that you don't want to. It seems you are dependent on him in more ways than one. Ultimately the decision to stay is yours, but believe me when I tell you that you are sacraficing much more by staying with someone ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband or try and fix this mess?
Q. Hi..so here goes. I am a recent newlywed and I have also just had a wonderful baby. I have been with my husband for a few years before we got married. He had cheated on me in the past but our relationship was long distance, the problem is he ch...
A. 12 May 2009: Trust is hard to recover once lost...
Only you know what your ability to forgive, forget and move on is truly made of. You will probably never truly be who you were prior to your husband's infidelity and unfortunately, I believe that anyone that... (read in full...)
Peter Andre and Katie Price breaking up has really upset me. Help!
Q. I feel seriously pathetic and stupid for asking for adivce on this... but thank you guys for even reading the question. I'm sure all you people in the UK will have heard the news that peter andre and katie price are splitting up? Well it has real...
A. 12 May 2009: These things happen... to everyday people, everyday. Perhaps there is someone you KNOW that your energy and compassion may be better spent on? If not, send them a sympathy card, chances are, the demise of their marriage means more to you than them!... (read in full...)
Just friends or is there something more there?
Q. Hello, i have a problem. I am 26 years old and about 3 years ago i started going back to college. About 2 years ago I took a drawing class with this girl in it, she is 19 years old. I noticed her right away, she was very attractive. I ev...
A. 12 May 2009: I'd say she likes you... She didn't try to plead with her boyfriend when he broke up with her over you?? C'mon, clearly it's because she does have feelings for you! She could have fought for her current relationship (especially after investing 2 ... (read in full...)
Bad patch is over...so why am I still in touch with this new man?
Q. Im 22 and I have a boyfriend of 4 years, we had a bad patch and i met another man gave him my number been emailing alot etc, hes a great laugh we have not done anything we just have the same personality, things got better with my boyfriend but im ...
A. 12 May 2009: Your new friend offers just that- newness. You're still quite young so there's plenty to learn yet about life and love. The best advice I can offer is to value what you have with your boyfriend. Relationships change and grow as they develop. That ... (read in full...)
Break up 2 weeks ago..never seen it coming
Q. Hi, My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago after 2 1/2 years. I never seen it coming and am now totally devastated. I was preparing to propose to her on a weekend away at the end of the month. She had previous said she was unhappy but that...
A. 11 May 2009: I'm a hopeless romantic so my advice may be slightly jaded but I think you should tell her how you feel. Let her know that you feel lost without her. The one thing that you said in your story that really got my attention was that you didn't get the ... (read in full...)
Do I need professional help?
Q. Dear Cupid I never did this before. Feel lost and confused in what just happened to me, not sure if this is too much or too little info: My first marriage didn’t work out. I walked away from the marriage…Long relationship (5 years dating, 2 ...
A. 11 May 2009: You say you divorced your first wife because of her lack of ambition... Is she ambitious now? Do you know where she's at in her life now? I ask because your story reads as if you felt like you were entitled to something that you did not get... she ... (read in full...)
My life story
Q. Ok - where to start. In 1995 I feel in love with the girl I was dating. We went out for about a year before she ended it. She wanted to be friends and I respected that, but I did send her letters at first saying I love you, and regardless of where ...
A. 11 May 2009: I honestly don't know why you are so hung up on her "PAST". You obviously carried a great deal of admiration and devotion for her into your years of waiting, and that was YOUR choice. She obviously had to live her life the way she chose. Perhaps she ... (read in full...)
Help, I can't feel attraction anymore!
Q. I still love my ex even after how bad she treated me. Our communication has broken down a long time ago so I cannot speak to her, she will not listen. If I look at this girl's picture after 3 years and still think she is the most beautiful creatu...
A. 11 May 2009: I liked what you had to say in your letter to her... In not knowing her or her side, and of course, we know there are always two sides, I would say that your letter had a bit of "finality" in it... closure perhaps? I think it's what you have ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with him and he wants me to meet his new girlfriend
Q. I have fallen in love with a friend of mine. I have never told him how I feel, although he must know that I am attracted to him as we have slept together in the past. This only made our friendship stronger. Nothing romantically came from it, in part ...
A. 8 May 2009: You may have to face the fact that he truly sees your relationship as one based on friendship only. If you aren't willing to be honest with him, you can't expect to know just what it is he feels. Perhaps he's taken a girlfriend because he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Left in limbo - he went from being very interested in me to not wanting to see me at all!
Q. I think I ruined a potentially good thing...did I? I met a guy online (let's call him W) and we had our first date a few weeks ago. It was great and I haven't felt that comfortable around someone new in a long time. He asked me out again and th...
A. 8 May 2009: There are always people out there that enjoy the chase more than the capture and he may just be one of those... but having said that, don't blame yourself. The only thing you did was be honest. If he's more interested in just simply chasing you, ... (read in full...)
I thought I was happy until an old ex got back in touch!
Q. I have been married for 5 years and have a 18 month old child. After the birth of our child I suppose me husband and myself became bogged down with everyday life and being parents. I though I was happy untill recently an ex of mine got in contact. T...
A. 8 May 2009: It's an age old truth that we always want what we can't have...I would venture to say that you are not having feeling for you ex in the way that you believe you are. You've not been in contact with him for many years. He is just a memory now, a ... (read in full...)
Help, I can't feel attraction anymore!
Q. I still love my ex even after how bad she treated me. Our communication has broken down a long time ago so I cannot speak to her, she will not listen. If I look at this girl's picture after 3 years and still think she is the most beautiful creatu...
A. 8 May 2009: This is definitely something that is common for people when they haven't yet let go. So, the good news is you're not alone... The bad news is that it is obviously standing in the way of you moving on. You made it a point to state that she didn't ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am wasting my time!
Q. when I met my boyfriend 11 months ago he said he was seperated and he and his wife had agreed to a divorce but as neither was in another relationship he did not start any divorce process. He claimed his wife left him, took the kids and lives in ...
A. 8 May 2009: You're welcome. I know that trusting someone after a "failed" marriage is not easy and I'd hate for your new guy to take advantage of that fact. You deserve happiness and honesty. Remember that!... (read in full...)
I feel like I am wasting my time!
Q. when I met my boyfriend 11 months ago he said he was seperated and he and his wife had agreed to a divorce but as neither was in another relationship he did not start any divorce process. He claimed his wife left him, took the kids and lives in ...
A. 7 May 2009: I'd simply ask him where the relationship is heading and what he truly intends to do regarding his "seperation"... Maybe he just takes for granted that you accept his situation as is. Maybe he needs a little push?? I wouldn't be surprised however if ... (read in full...)
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