A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Please Help Me! I broke up with my bf two weeks ago after he asked me for money and said he wouldnt talk to me. My mother passed away a few days later. I didnt contact him to tell him because he has never been there when I needed him only when he needed me. I changed my phone number and sent his house keys back by certified mail. We have been together for almost 4 yrs and things were going ok till this last yr. His mother started uninviting me to family outings I used to be invited to and he started spending more time with his kids and vintage cars and his new dog. Sex became almost non-exsistent but he wanted me to be close all the time and told me I was his sweetie. I dont get it. I have needs too. and he pouted about me going to be with my mother near the end because I wasnt here to do things with and for him.I miss him so and have had to cut 4 friends away that we were both friends with. I cant have any contact with them cause I end up going back with him.My long time friends and family tell him he is poison and that he was using me. Let me also mention he does drugs (vicodin and OC) and he has himself on several dating sites.I take meds for anxiety/depression and dont trust my judgement on this. But it seems if he loved me he would want to make me happy sexually and emotionally.Thank you
View related questions:
broke up, drugs, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (16 May 2009):
Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice! When I read thru it it seems obvious but when I look out my window and can see his house and know his schedule it is tough. I keep wondering what is he doing now. His lites are on and he doesnt have his kids this weekend. I know I shouldnt be concerned at all cause he has been so rotten to me and his family has too. How do I forget and move on?
A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (15 May 2009):
It would seem to me that the majority of your relationship with him was very one-sided.
I think once the initial pain subsides (and I have a feeling it won't be long) you will see how much better off you are without him and his unreciprocated love.
You deserve much better!
Take Good Care and I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.
Bella xoxo
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Sounds to me like your judgement is right on! You know how he is making you feel and you have done the right thing!
Missing him is part of the healing process. Next will be anger! And ultimately indifference!
I know his behavior, I lived with it for 16 years. He would probably get worse. As long as he is doing the pills, he won't be considerate of you. An addict has no conscience! Thier desire for the drugs is stronger than any other emotion they have.
I also understand the depression and medications associated with it. I know the feeling of not trusting your own judgement. In my opinion, it is not wise to be treated with anti-depressants without follow up therapy. There is a need to get to the source of the depression, as well as work on it physically. You deserve to have a happy life!
It is totally understandable that you are feeling depressed and lonely. You just lost your Mom and your relationship, as well as some mutual friends.
If you are not seeing a therapist, I suggest you think about it. There is a lot for you to process right now, and trying to "just get over it," doesn't work!
I wish you the best! Stay Strong! You have done the right thing!
Britt
...............................
A
male
reader, kennyrogers +, writes (15 May 2009):
Having had to ask kinda the same questions of myself recently I can understand where you are coming from.
It maybe painful to understand having been together for so long but often those around us, who can observe from a neutral pov, can see thing we can't. I would agree with your friends and family.
As they say, when one door closes another opens. Don't think of this as an end, think of it as a beginning. A chance to move forward and find someone that you can truly be happy with and is happy to be with you.
All the best!
...............................
|
