A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:OK is what i would like to know what is the difference between in love with you and I love you? The reason that i ask that is that some times my husband will tell me that he loves me but he is not in love with me so what does that mean??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): plse ask your hb what he means by this.some people make the "i love you but not IN love with you" statement a big drama event. the male anon reader makes some valid points - i suspect some sort of infedility on his part. are you two still sexually active. now that he has dropped his "emotional bombshell" what does he exactly want from you ? space? , a seperation?, a divorce? he needs to clarify. NOW
A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (15 May 2009):
I think the explanation really lies within your husband. I say that simply because love in and of itself can mean different things to different people. I would be curious to know if he says it to you as a way to explain why things are "different" in your marriage, are you having problems?
It has been my experience that when someone is no longer "in" love, and state that they "love you" it is typically a sign of the relationship going in a backwards direction. To love someone represents concern and care for their well being, their feelings and their overall disposition... however, when you say you are no longer "in" love it typically means that you've lost the desire, attraction and sometimes committment for that person.
The only way to truly know for sure what your husband means when he says it, is to ask him.
Good Luck!
Bella xoxo
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): "I love you but I am not In love with you", means he deeply cares for you due to you being his wife and the history you have built together but that the exciting feelings of being "in love", you know like the infactuation you feel from an early relationship, is not there anymore. My guess is that he is justifying something in his own mind. Is he or did he have an affair? Maybe he is in the middle of one or planning to have one? He is hurting you with these words cause he is justifying his actions in his own mind by saying well "I'm just not In Love with her anymore". He is a jerk and a fool and most likely a cheat. Next time he tells you that tell him that you don't recall "being in love" as any part of the wedding vows. Tell him promising to stick by each other in sickness and health and rich or poor til death do you part is more of a life long COMMITMENT you made to each other. True love is sticking with each other even when feelings are sometimes confusing. Tell him to man up and be honest with you. If he is not man enough to hold up to his part of the bargin tell him to hit the bricks. He's saying it for a reason, dont think he is not.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Well this is a very complicated subject to say the least. The short answer is he's having a mid-life crisis. My wife and I went through the same thing. I felt like she was up my azz 24/7. You need to sit down and talk about this or it will only get worse. In my case I just needed some guy time away from my wife. I.E. .....fishing,hunting,poker, etc without her calling me every hour to check in on me. (hint!) I'm not saying you do that,but most women do. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Right I will give you my thoughts on this subject but everyone does have different ideas at the end of the day and so you may receive varying explanations.
To say you are 'in love' with someone I have always interpreted as the exciting, fresh relationship feeling. You want to be with that person all the time, you can't get enough of them, you have butterflies in your stomach and you are as happy as you ever thought you could be.
To say you 'love' someone means that the love has gone from being 'in love' with that person and you have become settled with that person and you love them dearly, the exciting all consuming 'in love' aspect has changed, you are happy but not that giggly exciting feeling you used to have. You have matured together and grown as a couple. You may not want sex every minute of the day as the routine of life has taken over. It is a deeper more meaning feeling of love so that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person but you can have your off days and yes we all argue from time to time but we still love the person we have argued with.
Hope some of the above helps in some small way.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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