A
male
age
41-50,
*evn9876
writes:Hello Everyone I need some help here. OK. I was dating my girlfriend, i met her and she was a stripper and a model. I was into it for the looks at first then it got more serious and i told her to quit stripping and she would give me the excuse of "thats all i can do to pay my bills". I told her she should get a less expensive car and so on also that there is plenty of people with her situation that dont strip. Well then eventually she started promotional modeling instead which was definately a step up. I dealt with that for about a year but the guys constantly hitting on her eventually adds up. So i told her this bugged me and if she got a normal job paying 15 an hour full time i would make sure i covered the rest of the bills. Well so then she left her myspace open one day and I decided to look into it. We have lived together now for about 3 months and been together total about a year. I found out she went out with a guy and they had been talking back and forth about how she has cold feet and of course the guy would tell her anything she wanted to hear to make her feel good. Then there was a message that she said "I almost kissed you last night". I immediately confronted her and she said she had realized I was the one blah blah blah. Well that was about two months ago. Now my trust was shattered. I then found out she had went back to the strip club without telling me because she "had to". I still stayed with her like a moron i know but I truly loved her. Then she would go to these modeling gigs out in vegas and after knowing im a little shaky on the trust issue I would think she would call a few times to make sure everything was cool. Well she called me like once in three days and said she didnt have her phone on her. Well later she was telling me how she was texting this guy to get tickets to an event out there for her and her girlfriend. Obviously she had her phone but didnt care to shoot me a courtesy text or whatever. Anyway sorry for the long post. But then she came home and i have found myself hitting on other girls and just not happy. So then i talked to her and said we should probably break up. Well as you all know this part sucks. For some reason after you break up, you then want to get back together. I have been apart for a week and found out she went to the strip club again and i have feelings still so its hard plus im moving out on the first. I have been trying to avoid the situation and move on but its really tough. Now that I dont have her i feel sometimes like i want her back. I have been going out every night trying to keep my mind off it. Then she went out got drunk and stayed at a friends house and tryed to tell me that i have been going out every night and that she wants to live her life. She is 22, I am 29, we are broke up right now. Can i get some outside advice from you guys. I think i just need to move on and once i find someone else my feeelings will be ok again. thank you much.
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broke up, drunk, get back together, move on, myspace, stripper, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (16 May 2009):
 DUDE I HAVE BEEN THERE!I have dated more than one stripper. You have to understand one thing....You can't make a stripper stop stripping. They crave the money and attention..I have been through all that shit too...The "Modeling Shoots" ...sex shots, etc.Just realize that it is always a short stay in Stripperville. Get what you want out of it, but NEVER fall in love with oneThere is always gonna be some guy that comes along that:1) has more money than you2) Has more cocaine than you3) has a bigger dick than you.Time to cut your losses
A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (14 May 2009):
It seems pretty clear that the two of you were growing in different directions. That in itself is a difficult challenge to overcome, but when there are trust issue to combat as well, it's near impossible.I think you should leave things as they are. You will find times when you will miss her, totally natural, and remember, she will have those moments too. Try to stay strong when those feelings take hold of you tho, people can fall back into bad relationships out of fear of being alone. Trust me, it's better to be alone and happy than with the wrong person for the wrong reasons.Take Care!Bella xoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): Breaking up is always hard, but it sounds like it was the right thing to do here!
Hang in there!
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A
female
reader, Honest_Answers  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 Breaking up with someone is always hard but it sounds like you have your head screwed on. It can take so long to get over someone, some people never get over their ex girlfriends, but when you know it's not right you find a way to move on.
You obviously don't love her any more and things weren't working out so move on and find someone else. But by all means keep the happy memories - just don't mistake them for wanting her back.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (14 May 2009):
 Remain apart from each other! If she was really into you then she would have given up stripping! I can understand that she has probably got used to the lifestyle that she had whilst stripping but I'm sure that if she loved you she would downsize her car and make changes! X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): I think you pretty much summed it up in the last paragraph.
People go through rebellious stages at different times in their lives and sometimes it can just make it worse if you try to force them to grow up. I know you were'nt forcing her but that's how she'll see it. Sometimes people overeact when they don't like a certain thing.
Just don't let this shatter your confidence in trying to find true love. Good luck mate.
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