A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think I ruined a potentially good thing...did I?I met a guy online (let's call him W) and we had our first date a few weeks ago. It was great and I haven't felt that comfortable around someone new in a long time. He asked me out again and the second date lasted twice as long. During this date there was talk about the website where we met and I let it slip (stupidly) that there was another guy who'd asked me out and so I jokingly asked W what I should tell this other guy. I wanted to see what he'd say. He said tell him you're seeing someone. As this was only the second date, I took this as a good sign from W. On our third date, I seriously wasn't thinking straight, and told him that I dropped this other guy because I wanted to see where things with him would go. He said that was a good idea but now I'm thinking I should have kept my mouth shut.We went out one more time but I could feel that something was different. He didn't talk as much and he didn't make plans to see me again. I didn't call him or contact in any way and a weekend came and went. He then messaged me and asked what was wrong since I haven't been in touch. I told him that I assumed we weren't going to see each other anymore since he wasn't calling or asking me out. He said that wasn't true and said that nothing between us had changed BUT he didnt ask me out and although I hinted at seeing him I didnt ask either. Another weekend's almost here and I haven't heard from him.Could I seriously have killed this with talk of dropping this other guy...did I end the chase for W?I can't think of why he went from being so interested to not wanting to see me at all...and the worst thing is the fact that he's saying that nothing between us is wrong...he's left me in this limbo and I feel like I just need to forget him but it's hard when he's saying things are cool but he won't make time to see me...arghhhh! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bellaaddison  +, writes (8 May 2009):
There are always people out there that enjoy the chase more than the capture and he may just be one of those... but having said that, don't blame yourself. The only thing you did was be honest. If he's more interested in just simply chasing you, what's the point anyway??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): If possible, you could contact him and ask him what is going on. Try to get some straight answers from him.
But if this situation doesn't improve, and he is still behaving differently, I just want to say DON'T BLAME YOURSELF! Seriously, I can't understand why he would seem so interested one minute, then cool off the next. Unless he is no longer interested, in which case he should at least have the courtesy to tell you.
But I don't think you made any big blunder here, honestly. You could analyse this all day, wondering what you did or said that made him change. But hey, why is it something you did or said? Maybe it is him with the problem here!
I hope things get sorted, but if not, then hold your head up high, and don't beat yourself up for things you haven't done! x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): I'm guessing he sensed you were in lock down mode from the day you met him! You don't even know him and are acting like you are already in a relationship so I'm sure it scared him off. Next time, steer clear of that kind of talk until you get to know the guy better.
...............................
|
