A
female
age
36-40,
*osiejoeyjo
writes:i am split in 2 different directions at the moment. im in love with my bestfriend. she is the most wonderful caring loving women i have ever met. has been by my side through everything. would drop everything if i call. im constantly doing my best to give her as much as she has given me. i have known for years that im in love with her.. but me and my selfish ways get the best of me. she knowns im a lesbian and i know shes as straight as a ruler. when i see her kissing a guy my jealousy gets the best of me and i storm off like a little child. these days i found myself hurting her more then being bestfriends with her.. but the women she is she keeps coming back to try and keep our friendship together.. i dont want to hurt her anymore..im stuck between 2 decision.. confess my love knowing she will never feel the same way.. or just let her go.. keep pushing her away until she cant stand me anymore.i need help. if anyone has any suggestions i would be forever greatfully.thankyou
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female
reader, checkitoutdude  +, writes (4 June 2009):
Wow.. Im stuck between those decision also. The number one thing is I haven't come clean and I'm still hiding in the closet. Im just 17 years old and I have a best friend like yours but I'm not sure if she knows that I'm completely bi. I've known her for a while but im completely head over heels for her. I dont know but since last year I started to have this feeling and I cant get over her. As of now, we're not close anymore ever since she moved. Yet I've regretted pushing her away waiting she'll come back. but it turns out the opposite. I truly dont know how to say how much I missed this friend of mine and I wish we could still be friends either way.
I hope your situation doesnt end up like mind and I hope you actually talk to her about it because you dont know how much you'll regret when this friend of yours is gone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Just tell her how you feel. It's better to go down in flames, maybe having a chance and for her to understand than you not telling her. Don't underestimate friendship, I'm sure she won't think of you diffrently.
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A
female
reader, bellaaddison  +, writes (14 May 2009):
Some say that the best way to truly love someone (especially when we know we are only hurting them) is to let them go. I think this would apply to your situation.
You have two choices:
Either get your feelings for her under control so that she is free to be who she is (Straight) in your company or leave her be. You are only going to continue to destroy what appears to be a wonderful friendship with your jealousy and insecurity and then she'll be gone anyway...
If you value your friendship as you appear to, then find the strength to share a relationship with her without letting your emotional feelings get the best of you, or let her go so that you can both remember the friendship you share, FONDLY...
Memories can last a lifetime. How do you want to remember her? Lovingly or bitterly?
Bella xoxo
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A
female
reader, josiejoeyjo +, writes (14 May 2009):
josiejoeyjo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is one of the problems. i know she will be left feeling extremley uncomfortable but because its me she will suck it up and keep trying to hold this friendship together.
i want to give everything to this girl. because i cant i want to make our split as painless as possible for myself and her
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A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 I had the same issue, just the other way around. I was in love with my best friend who was gay and whenever he mentioned someone he fancied i would boil up with envy. It ended up eating me up inside until i eventually told him how i felt. It didn't change anything between us.
However, maybe because the roles are reversed and your friend is the straight one it could be a different matter. I wouldn't go steaming ahead into it. You know your friend better than anyone else, do you think she would be freaked out by the thought of you loving her?
Maybe it would be best to let go, if you don't see any chance of anything happening if you confess your love then let go of her. Find someone who is interested and start enjoying your love life! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): Let her go. Why are you putting yourself through pain? spend time apart and try get over her, see other people and go from there.
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