A
male
age
36-40,
*iket389
writes:Would anyone here consider it like stalking if the person your with says they're somewhere and you drive by to really see if there are where they say? Especially if they've lied before? it blew up today with the girl i was seeing she said she was at her moms and its just been a long road of lies and deceit, so i drove by to see if she was home last night and she wasn't. i turned around and went home. she called me a stalker and a whole bunch of names im sure her mom saw me i wasn't hiding i turned right around in the driveway.... she wasn't there says she was... i just don't want to be crazy...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Heya
if im honest, the girl should have been honest to begin with, because then you wouldnt have any reason to suspect she was dishonest.
if she was not where she said she was, she obviously had something to hide. I personally wouldnt call you a stalker, but since you cannot trust her, i would just leave her to her own devices and move on from her. dont drive past her house or anything like that, just leave her.
go find a girl who will be honest with you.
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, CommonSpencer +, writes (13 May 2009):
A lot of women would see this as stalking(stalking is saying I never want to see you with someone and then having them follow your every move), but in your case I would see it as validation of her dishonesty. If she was somewhere she didn't want you to know about, she would probably say she was at home to create a facade. I don't know though, if you are the jealous type she might construct something like this so you don't keep obsessing and getting jealous about her going out with her friends. Anyways did she tell you not to come over? I mean if she was at her moms and you were stopping over to see her that is a completely different thing. Either way if you don't trust her find another girl that values the same kind of relationship. Talking to someone you are in a relationship with about your feelings and concepts of relationships/love is the easiest way to find out about someone, unless they lie.. Or just dump her and tell her to her face she's untrustworthy and not serious dating material(that will really eat at a girl.) Either way don't take this too seriously you have thousands of years ahead of you.. well maybe not, but you have like forty or fifty years left in this life man! No one likes to be in a one sided relationship and bad girls quit sidetracking the good guys and playing on the side! Hurry up and get stds and die. Take all I say with a shot of penicillin.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Yeah, I would call that stalking or the beginning of having stalking tendencies.
WHY would you be with a girl whom you don't trust? Trust is the cornerstone of ANY relationships, be it partnership, friendship, marriage... so forth..
What did it do for you when you checked out her story? It added fuel to an already compositional pile of accusations and issues.
Don't date a girl you don't trust. It's really that simple.
You are suppose to be her Boyfriend not her Daddy.. know what I mean?
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A
female
reader, monique-x-x  +, writes (12 May 2009):
Everyone does stupid things when it comes to love but you wud of looked like a complete idiot by doing this you need to take a step back and look at ur self wether you have caught her out that she wasnt home or not what she was doin could well of been innocent and she will find it suffocating if it was the case!! you have just blown what she may of thort about you previously you should give her space now and apologize! but if she wat u say and she is lyin shud you relli want to waste ur petrol by searching for her any way
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 May 2009):
Yes that is stalking.
If she is lying and cheating then you BREAK UP WITH HER, you don't try and become some kind of prison guard and catch her in the act.
Don't become that psycho boyfriend.
Keep your dignity instead and walk away.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (12 May 2009):
You shouldn't have to follow someone to know what they are doing. If she can't be honest with you, that's a problem. If you can't believe in her, bigger problem. If you have to spend your time and energy trying to convince yourself she's being honest by getting in your car and tracking her down- Beyond repair! Let it go- there's other women out there that will be deserving of your trust.
Take Care
Bella
xoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): I think you are looking for reasons to believe she is honest. I think just driving by to validate her claims is the same as following up on seeing if she's living true to her commitment to be honest. No difference.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): If it's gotten to the point in your relationship that you are doing drive-bys (stalking) to check up on her, it's time to get out of the relationship. Your behavior is not appropriate at ALL and if she's making you this way, get away from her before you get slammed with a restraining order. Try explaining that one to your next girlfriend, it won't go over well.
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