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Im from Ireland and Im 37 I am married to a fab guy for 17 years and have six children. I am currently studying to be a life coach. I hope the comments i give are of some help.
I love giving advice and have been a bit of an agony aunt for my friends for years.
Would love to hear your comments on some of the advice i have given.
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Are fantasies of being with Another Person OK when you're making love?
Q. Can someone give me some feedback on what you think about sexual fantasies; I mean from the point of view of a man or a woman thinking of someone else in order to get turned on when making love to their partner? Do you think this is okay? Do you re...
A. 13 March 2007: No it is perfectly normal to think of someone else when you are having sex. But if you are doing it everytime and cant get turned on unless you do so then there is a problem. If your partner is unable to turn you on then you need to address this ... (read in full...)
I feel totally destroyed as I found out he cheated on me (with someone I can't stand)
Q. ive just found out my partner of 14 yrs has cheated on me with someone i know and always hated.i cant eat,sleep or cope. doctor just gave me pills. dont know how to cope. i feel totally destroyed i need help?...
A. 13 March 2007: Its bad enough that he cheated on you but to cheat on you with someone you cant stand it twice as bad. How can you get over something like this? Being with someone for 14 years is a lifetime. I dont really know if you ever will. But you will ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to get suspicious with him. Should I be worried?
Q. i'm starting to get suspicious of some behavior of a guy i'm dating. he claims he loves me and we spend most of our free time together but lately he's been secretly speaking to an old girlfriend, disappears for a few hours without a call etc.. and ...
A. 13 March 2007: I think women have a gut feeling when it comes to cheating.If it was me I would feel exactly the way you are, especially if he has been secretly speaking to an old girlfriend. Follow your gut and have it out with him you should have some idea by ... (read in full...)
Why does my vagina keep making this farting noise? It's extremely embarrassing!!!!
Q. please could you give me some advice,when my partner and i start to make love my vagina makes the most awful farting sound; it doesnt bother him but i find it extremely embarrasing, please could you help me i am getting married in six weeks...
A. 13 March 2007: I had this problem and as the other too aunts said its only trapped air. When this happens to me i can forget about sex for the night as it always makes me laugh and once i start laughing i cant stop. Changing positons helps so stop fretting. It ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing him tonight and feel really nervous. Is this normal?
Q. my friend told me that he loved me yesterday which has been kinda obvious. He told me just as i had to go in, he said he was too embarrassed to tell me. I told him i felt the same cuz i do and have done for ages and i'm definatly sure about this. We ...
A. 13 March 2007: Wow how exciting for you. This is totally normal and its probably a mixture of excitment and nerves. Just be yourself and see how things go. You can talk about school today, how he got on at the dentist, anything really that comes into your head. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to tell my boyfriend that I don't think it's right him accepting phone numbers of other women?
Q. Is it wrong for me to tell my boyfriend that I don't think it's right him accepting phone numbers of other women? I have found a couple phone numbers and I wasn't too happy about it. I don't think it's appropriate that he accepts these since he is ...
A. 13 March 2007: You are so right. I would not like it if my partner had other girls numbers in his pocket. And why is he keeping the number if i was in a relationship and a guy gave me his number i would rip it up and put it in the bin. Set him straight on this ... (read in full...)
My ex would love to give it another go with me... thing is, she's now married with children!
Q. Hi, i am looking for some advice.... it's a bit of a tricky situation. I have been divorced for about 4 years but just recently i have started talking to my ex again on the internet (About 18 months)on and off. The thing is i still think about her ...
A. 13 March 2007: You said it 'thing is shes married'. She is not available to get into a relationship with you. And what about the kids. Would you be happy with her leaving her marriage and kids to be with you knowing how many lives you would be destroying. And ... (read in full...)
I'm just scared that i wont be able to settle in well even though i should be counting my blessings!!!
Q. Ok.. where do i start... I came out of a childhood relationship that lasted four years and was a very violent and aggressive person to be with, admitially i denied to all friends and family that i was being violently abused. One day i plucked up the ...
A. 13 March 2007: Poor you it must have taken alot of courage to walk away from your old relationship. Well done. Now you are in a new relationship with a new baby on the way. You dont say if you are really in love with this new guy. If you are you should just ... (read in full...)
Does he like me? I'm very confused.
Q. does he like me, i am very confused? i have been seeing a guy for about 5 months now, and we sleep together and also he comes round and we spend time together. everytime i bring up that we start a proper relationship as girlfriend/boyfr...
A. 13 March 2007: I can understand where he is coming from but it is like you are going out just without the title. He is afraid of getting his heart broken understandable no one wants to have a broken heart but this has been going on for five months. How much time ... (read in full...)
Should I leave with my son or batten down the hatches and weather the storm?
Q. Help, from any quarters would be great! I moved in with my bloke just before christmas with my son aged 15, my partner has a son of similar age. The lads hate each other. My son has the box bedroom after he had a large bedroom at ours. We rented, my ...
A. 13 March 2007: You are in a real mess here. Your son is going through puberty which is really adding to the problem. I have a fifteen year old son and am facing exactly the same problems and his father and i have been happily married for seventeen years. He ... (read in full...)
He still keep in contact with the ex and it makes me sick to my stomach.
Q. Help, i feel sick when ever i think about my partner being nice to his ex. He says it is just because of their son, aged 14 who lives with us. She lives 100 miles away with her husband and when she phones up he always has time to chat to her. They ...
A. 13 March 2007: I think you need to believe what he says when says he loves you. There is very little you can do about this im afraid. As they have a son together there will always be that contact especially as he lives with you. I think you are just going to ... (read in full...)
He asked me out and I said no. Now he's got with my friend and I've realised I DO like him, how do I get him back?
Q. Last year i went 2 a party and i met a boy there who really liked me. He got my email address form somebody and we emailed each other. He asked me out, but i weren't interested. Weeks later, my friend told me that he had asked her out and she said ...
A. 13 March 2007: This is very hard for you but you missed the boat. Your friend is now dating this guy so you have to forget it and leave them too it. This may be hard for you as you will be around him. But you have to remember he is your friends boyfriend.
A... (read in full...)
How can I keep the spark in my relationship going?
Q. hi just wondering if anyone could give me advice as to how to keep the spark in my relationship going? i dont want my boyfrend-26 to get bored of me-22! wev been together for two years and we get on well, make each other laugh etc, maybe more so ...
A. 13 March 2007: Is this really the root of the problem your scared he will go off with some else? Your boyfriend seems pretty content the way things are so why fix something unless its broken. Two years together is a long time. Letting him go for five weeks is ... (read in full...)
He's dated numerous other girls and slept with my sister but I can't stop loving him!!
Q. Well my boyfriend and I decided to break up and just stay friends. He says he needs to find himself. And he confessed to me about all his secrets that he had sex with my sister many times and so many other girls and it's not even that! It's the fact ...
A. 11 March 2007: There is nothing wrong with you. You love this guy and he treats you badly. Love is blind. Maybe in your heart you think he will change and be faithful to you. Truth of it is he doesnt care about you and is a player. Guys that treat a girl like ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm still a virgin at 21?
Q. Here is my problem. I'm a 21 year old virgin. The fact i've remained so is a mystery even to me. Mostly it's because I never let guys get beyond the first few dates, I go out and lose interest. But my biggest problem is that all my friends and even ...
A. 11 March 2007: If he really likes you it wont be bothered in fact i would say he will be flattered that you want to give it to him. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 21 it just means that you wanted to wait until you met the right person. I admire ... (read in full...)
We were great friends and now...he's stopped talking to me? What can I do?
Q. Hi my name is Jackie. I used to date a guy who i really really liked last year. But, he ended up dumping me when i loved him. Because, we had too many fights and such but, there were times when we were alright. But, when we weren't going out anymore ...
A. 11 March 2007: Hi Jackie,
This is very hard on you as you you have really fallen for this guy. But you are throwing yourself at him and it is probably pushing him away i also think you are coming on a bit strong emotionally with him. He knows how you feel abou... (read in full...)
We are soulmates! Is it wrong to have these feelings for someone else, yet still be in love with our spouses as well?
Q. "I found my soul mate 3 years ago,but were both married" Hi everyone,I'm just new to this forum,I was so surprised to read a forum letter and its replies about soulmates, I was never looking or in search for my soulmate, but our lives crossed 3 ...
A. 11 March 2007: You say that you are deeply in love with your soulmate and keep an open mind about being together one day. To be perfectly honest i do think what you are doing is wrong. You say you also love your husband but you are sharing your heart with ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose? The guy who treats me like a queen or the one I love deeply?
Q. WHAT SHOULD I SETTLE FOR, TREATMENT OR FEELINGS? I have to choose between two guys,there is one i love most and another who treats me like a QUEEN. Guy1 treats me well he gives me everything but i just dont feel for him that much but i am afraid ...
A. 11 March 2007: Settle for feelings. You love this guy and he says he wants you back. Has he broken up with his girlfriend? if so go for it, if not you would be back to where you were before with him. You need to tell your boyfriend its over he will probably be ... (read in full...)
Been with him 5 years and I'm feeling he doesn't love me as much anymore. Any advice?
Q. Been with my partner for 5 years nearly. It's been a rocky ride as this is 2nd time round for both of us, I have 3 kids and him 1. His ex was his first love and she had messed him around a few times yet he never gave up, It was only when she said ...
A. 11 March 2007: I dont think there is much of a problem with this guy. He is always going to have a relationship with his wife because of his son. This isnt going to go away so you are going to have to come to terms with this. As for her texting him this is ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this hell while avoiding a big mistake?
Q. Hi, please can someone help as I am going crazy! Been seeing a girl for almost 3 years. We've recently bought a house togther and I am so confused as I don't think I love her anymore. I'm scared to let it go on any further but scared to stop it ...
A. 11 March 2007: You are obviously very unhappy but staying in a relationship for fear of legal issues is doing both of you no favours. If you leave it and carry on living with her the issues will still be there. Tell her how you feel and take it from there. It ... (read in full...)
I'm assured she likes me but terrified to ask her out in case I fall flat on my face and ruin everything?
Q. I really like this girl, and I think she really likes me. I am in a few classes with her, and I talk to her whenever I can in those classes. She always laughs and smiles whenever she is around me, and my best friend says she looks at me when I get ...
A. 11 March 2007: You are getting all the right signals here so i think you need to pluck up the courage and ask her out. You will never know if you dont try. Taking the first step is scarey and the fear of rejection is keeping you away. But you need to be strong ... (read in full...)
Did he leave his cell in his truck to make me feel more important or to hide something from me???
Q. my boyfriend ALWAYS has is cellphone with him...a few days ago he cheated on me, i found out by looking thru his phone when he was asleep because i had a severe gut feeling...and confronted him, he admitted it and were trying to work things out ...
A. 11 March 2007: You need to trust your gut on this one. If he carries his phone with him all the time and suddenly leaves it in his truck then he doesnt want you to look through it again. Understandably so but this doesnt help you, you are obviously suspicious ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with him wanting more and 'casual time'?
Q. Can I work through him falling out of love with his wife and turning our friendship into something more? We have been friends for 1.5 years. He has been miserable with his marriage (he has no kids with her but she has kids from a previous relation...
A. 11 March 2007: You need to let this guy end his marriage before you take things any further. I admire you for feeling bad for his wife although you have done nothing to feel guilty about. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing you are there for him as a ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him and told him, then he cheated on me. Now it's even do you think we can make a go of this relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. After about 2 weeks of dating him I cheated on him. I was truly sorry. I wish I could turn back time. But I can't. Maybe about 6 months after I confessed to him because it was eating me inside. ...
A. 11 March 2007: You made one mistake so this gives him the right to sleep with as many people as he wants. I dont think so. Fair enough if he felt he had to even the score (which is very childish) a quick fling could be forgiven, but what he has done is ... (read in full...)
Now he just wants to be my friend. What do I do?
Q. I'm seeing a guy with two other girlfriends even though i know the situation and am quite secure enough to be able to handle the lack of monogomy, he decided to break up as he "cares" to much to lose me from his life. He wants to remain close ...
A. 10 March 2007: You get him out of your life. Are you saying he was seeing three girls at once? He really is unbelievable. And you went along with this. He is using you as he is the other two. I can understand why he cant give you what you want or need, find ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should ask him to cheat on her with me again?
Q. Hey, Im 14 and I really like this guy who's a year older than me. He went out with this girl a month or two ago but he really liked me and we were going to organise it so we could see each other without her knowing. Please don't tell me that was...
A. 10 March 2007: You obviously really like this guy and would do anything to get him to like you back. But Im afraid life isnt that kind. Everything seems to be on his terms. He was prepared to cheat on his girlfriend which shows he has very little respect for ... (read in full...)
He's into extreme fetish porn and I'm terrified it will ruin our relationship!
Q. I've recently found out my fiance is into extreme fetish porn, such as "scat" and "watersports" and it absolutely sickens me. I want to talk to him about it and let him know it bothers me, but I found it out by hacking into his computer looking for ...
A. 10 March 2007: God poor you this is a very hard thing for you to have to deal with. This sort of porn is vile to you and me but it obviously does something for your fiance. Bringing the subject up is very difficult and you must be careful the way you deal with ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with calling them and why am I always tempted??
Q. Hi all.... after splitting with my boyfriend of two months im slowly gaining confidence. I am trying by all means to take him out of my system....I dont have feelings for him anymore. I have come to a point where i trully understand why we broke up ...
A. 10 March 2007: When did you last see or speak to him? The reason that i am asking this is you may feel that you are over him but if you see him again all your old feelings could come flooding back. I know this from experience i broke up with a guy and thought i ... (read in full...)
I fancy so many people now the one I want to go out with won't go out with me BECAUSE I fancy others. What should I do?
Q. Right, I have a really Bad Problem which is effecting my social life and my relationships: I Fancy Robbie, Have done for a while, Im not Promiscuous or anything so before you all go calling me a slut etc, I have a Boyfriend called Ben and Im Not h...
A. 10 March 2007: God this is quite a love triangle. I think you should end things with Ben as you say your not happy with him. How does Robbie know that you fancy loads of guys, have you told him? Right next put Tom out of your head as you dont want to go out ... (read in full...)
When do I know when a woman is lying and when do I know if she's being honest? I find women sooooo hard to read!
Q. Why do i find it difficult to read a woman especially when i get emotionally involved with them? I treat them way to high, respect them, even adore them but most of the times i get disappointed to find them to be ill-suited for the kind of treatment ...
A. 10 March 2007: Why is this such a problem for you. You make is sound like you are paying such a high price to make a woman happy. I treat them way to high? respect them? adore them? what is going on here? If i had been on a date with someone who spoke about me in ... (read in full...)
I feel as though I'm losing all my friends because they're "doing it" and I'm not...
Q. Hi.. It seems as though all my friends are doing it and I'm not. We're all around 13/14 and the girls that have done it are slowly forming their own clique, becoming cool. I feel as though i'm losing all my friends! I'm wondering how to deal with ...
A. 10 March 2007: God poor you, you must feel so isolated and alone. When I was your age i remember the hormones were driving me mad. Alot of my friends had sex under the age of 16 and i too felt isolated. They would talk about it in front of me and it really hurt ... (read in full...)
I think she's wanting sex but we've only been going out for a month. I think this is way too fast but how do I tell her without losing her?
Q. Yo...ive been dating this girl for about a month and i think she wants to have sex and ive been in a relationship where we moved too fast and it tore us apart ....i really like this girl and i dont want to lose her....i want to tell her but i dont ...
A. 10 March 2007: I think that honesty is the way to go with this one. You need to tell her that you simply arent ready. Explain that you dont want to rush things and that you really want to get to know her first. I think this is a really nice quality in a guy and ... (read in full...)
What do I do to make her feel more comfortable with me and not feel smothered?
Q. I have been raised to treat women with care and respect. I show it all the time and she says she feel smothered in my Love what do I need to do to make her feel more comfortable with me and not feel like that with me, we eventually want to get ...
A. 10 March 2007: What a nice guy you sound and you obviously have a lot of respect and love for this girl. Even by posting this problem you are showing how much you care and want to make her happy. I am a little concerned what exactly she is saying to you. Maybe ... (read in full...)
What do I do to make her feel more comfortable with me and not feel smothered?
Q. I have been raised to treat women with care and respect. I show it all the time and she says she feel smothered in my Love what do I need to do to make her feel more comfortable with me and not feel like that with me, we eventually want to get ...
A. 10 March 2007: What a nice guy you sound and you obviously have a lot of respect and love for this girl. Even by posting this problem you are showing how much you care and want to make her happy. I am a little concerned what exactly she is saying to you. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant if we never had actual penetrative sex?
Q. ok so i am 16 years old and i have a pretty serious boyfriend. i dont want to sound stupid but can you get pregnant if you dont have sex? we both had pants on, but there was thrusting and i could feel *him* and i kind of had an orgasm, but since i ...
A. 10 March 2007: I would very much doubt it if you had your pants on. You need to get all the facts on sex and get some protection sorted you dont want to end up pregnant.... (read in full...)
He keeps blowing hot and cold all the time, does he want to be with me or not?
Q. mixed signals, my friend split up with this guy, who i really like. he started to text me flirty texts n says he likes me. i asked him out, and he said that he needed time to sort his head out. so i left it a few days n text him, he was back to ...
A. 10 March 2007: Would your friend be ok with you going out with her ex? It mightnt be a bad idea to talk to her about it first. As for this guy he really is blowing hot and cold and you dont know where you stand. If he needs to sort his head out then why is he ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I like him when I'm just a shy wimp?
Q. at school theres a boy called Grant and i really like him i have went out with him before 3 times but we didnt last! =( he went out with my best mate not long ago but he dumped her i dont know if he likes me and i really want to find out! but how ...
A. 10 March 2007: You went yout with him before and it didnt work out what makes you think it would work out now. He has now just dumped your friend so no doubt he will be onto his next quest soon. I think you are wasting your time on this guy he sounds like a bit ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms?
Q. Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms? We've been together for three years and hes cheated on me before, we split recently for 2 months, and I think he slept with other women although he wouldn't ...
A. 10 March 2007: I think that you are so sensible to ask him to do this. If more people were as responsible as you it would save alot of heartache. If he refuses this test then you should refuse unprotected sex. You are not being unreasonable and if he cared ... (read in full...)
Should I break it off? I do believe I love her with all my heart!
Q. Hi im 17 and my girlfreinds 16, after about 2 months of dating, we fell in love it was her first relationship in 2 years, i took her virginity, and im the first serious releationship shes ever had. at about the 3 month mark i went over to this girls ...
A. 10 March 2007: I dont think that you need to break it off with this girl you really care about her as she does about you. Even though you didnt cheat on her i think she is finding it hard to cope with this. I dont think she is ashamed of you do her friends know ... (read in full...)
We broke up for a week and now he's with someone else and I don't know what to do...?
Q. Me and my Ex boyfriend have been dating on and off...at first we were goin out then we broke up...during the break up we went out and did things a couple would do but never claimed ourselves as one...i have been ignoring him because i feel that hes ...
A. 10 March 2007: I think he has been very unfair to you. He has a new girlfriend yet he is sending you this sort of text. He is keeping you hanging on. Being hurt like this is very hard and also seeing him with someone else must be unbearable for you. I know that ... (read in full...)
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