A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedKid
writes:Hi.. It seems as though all my friends are doing it and I'm not. We're all around 13/14 and the girls that have done it are slowly forming their own clique, becoming cool. I feel as though i'm losing all my friends! I'm wondering how to deal with the separation and whether I should do it. I've never been good at fitting in and I really want to this time. I feel as though I'm ready for sex.
View related questions:
ready for sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 God poor you, you must feel so isolated and alone. When I was your age i remember the hormones were driving me mad. Alot of my friends had sex under the age of 16 and i too felt isolated. They would talk about it in front of me and it really hurt my feelings. I later found out that two of them had never had sex, one of them got pregnant and had to leave school and really regretted it. I remember her coming into school to chat with her friends at lunch time pushing the buggy. She was labelled as 'easy' by the lads and they used to laugh about who they were going to have sex with next. I am glad i saved my virginity until i was in a stable relationship as it was such a special time. Having sex now is not a good idea have respect for yourself. Having sex to be part of a group is not a good idea, You will regret it and you will get a name for yourself.
Stay strong
Aunty t
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (10 March 2007):
 So you're now ready for sex... because all your friends are "doing it???" Come on, don't be pressured into thinking that having sex with a guy will make you cool, it won't! It will make you confused, vulnerable, emotional and even sore but it WON'T make you cool!
My advice to you is to hang around with these friends and if they ask you if you're "doing it" just say "nah, not yet, I'm choosy who I do it with and the right person hasn't come along yet." That way you're still friends but have your OWN opinion and mind.
You're only 13/14 for goodness sake, you're body's not even fully developed yet. Any girl that starts having sex at that age is just looking for attention and affection and are really insecure deep down. Stand amongst them and just listen to them brag, most of it will probably be made up and hey... any guy who KNOWS a girl is putting it about at that age WON'T think highly of her, just remember that!
Stick to your guns and save yourself for the right person love. You have plenty time to start thinking about dating and sex. Concentrate on your studies first and foremost and concentrate on getting good grades then, when you're a few years older, start the dating scene and be choosy about who you date. ;o)
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): Are you sure that you are actually ready for sex or is really if you do it you won't lose your friends? By the way sex is illegal until you are 16 so don't think about doing it under the age limit. As for losing your friends because they have lost their virginity and you haven't make some new friends who aren't going to drop you due to the fact that you haven't slept with anyone yet.
...............................
A
female
reader, natalie jane +, writes (10 March 2007):
your only 13-15!!to be honest i am 15 and sex is the last thing on my mind
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): You need to grow up and figure your priorities out. Ditch them- instead get involved in music and school- youll make better friends who will acutally care for you and have more in common with you and your grades will be higher. Boys and girls whoa re dumb enough to just lay them without really thinking about the consequences at that age are not people who are your "friends" give yourself some time away from them and become the better person. Invest yourself in things that are more fufilling- take up a sport or start learning a new, or another language.. write in a journal, take up art... but dont give into something that is just useless for social status that wil mean nothing in the long run... If you save yourself for someone who will love you down the road... it wil make life soo much more enjoyable- and these girls wll be having the regrets.. trust me, Im 21 and still have never had sex and my life has been so much more rewarding than my friends- who lost their virginity around 17,18- and they still regret it today. At your age- you will deffinately regret it- along with all your friends now, who will problably end up sleeping with many guys and find none of them rewarding... Hope this helps. Be wise about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (10 March 2007):
 You are not ready for sex, this is a terrible idea and under no circumstances should you even consider losing your virginity because of this! These girls are way too young for all that and are not only putting themselves in long term physical risk but also emotional risks. It's hard work, getting involed with guys and sex and girls your age just can't handle it. It may make them feel like women but they are still girls.
As for you feeling left out, I can see why you feel this way. We all want to fit in and do things our friends do but I don't think any of us realise how precious our virginity is until it's gone and to lose it for the sake of a few girls who you're maybe not as close to as you have been is just crazy.
You need to get involved in the group in other ways, have the confidence to make yourself known in the circle for more than being easy, like the others. You have so much to offer the world, it's 2007, we are not here to entertain or be used by men anymore! Stick to your guns and trust me, you are not ready. You'll see, one day, what a horrible mistake this would be if you go ahead and waste this.
I really hope you take on board all the comments you get on here. It breaks my heart to think that kids have sex just because they're friends do or they want to seem cool. You really don't understand how powerful sex is and how it should be treated that way. When it works out, it's perfect but when it doesn't, and it quite often doesn't with children, it can all go so wrong, so fast.
Please wait until the right man comes along or at least until you're old enough to cope with the emotions that come with it.
...............................
|
