A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi im 17 and my girlfreinds 16, after about 2 months of dating, we fell in love it was her first relationship in 2 years, i took her virginity, and im the first serious releationship shes ever had. at about the 3 month mark i went over to this girls house, and she kissed me, my girlfreinds considered it "i cheated on her" ever since. I went over there beacuse i was jealous of how she had freinds she can hang out with and i didnt so i went to go hang out with the cheaters brother and he wasnt there. so after about ten min's i left and she hugged me goodbye i only hugged her beacuse it would get me ou fo there faster, and when i pulled away from the hug she kissed me, i pushed her away and left. its been about 4 months she forgave me and were still in love, but about 2 weeks ago she told me that we need a break, cuz shes not over "me cheating on her" ever since she said that we are still acting like a couple but everytime i ask her out she gets angry and ignores the question with an i dont know or a i dont wanna talk about it. so we have been acting like a couple ever since we talked about it, i pour my heart out to her everyday about the situation and she does the same i dont know routine. Were still having sex and still doing couple things only around eachother we dont hold hands or show any affection in front of are freinds, but when were alone we do... this makes me feel like shes ashamed of me and only using me for sex... what should i do break it off i do belive i love her with all of my heart, and i think she loves me to. what should i do break it off or wait until shes ready to talk things out? thanks!
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a break, fell in love, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 Okay you asked what do you do to stop her behaving this way and want you more? DON'T SLEEP WITH HER! Let her see you like her, but don't have a physical relationship with her, keep it platonic. Another thing you're doing very wrong is pouring your heart out to her! You're coming across as needy and desperate and she'll just lap that up and enjoy the "power" she has over you. You need to assert yourself more. Let her see by your actions that she's not 'all that'. I know you love her to bits deep down but don't let it come across that way.
Women like a challenge, they like to chase a little. They don't like their men eating out of their hands, they lose respect for them if they are too accommodating so toughen up okay? Tell her you only want her as a friend and you're fine with that. Do NOT sleep with her (even if she begs you), eventually she'll ask to go back with you and this is where you say "as long as you promise to put the past behind you, I pushed her away and did NOT cheat on you, if you can't accept that then there's no point is there?" See what she says! ;o)
Eve
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 I dont think that you need to break it off with this girl you really care about her as she does about you. Even though you didnt cheat on her i think she is finding it hard to cope with this. I dont think she is ashamed of you do her friends know what happened with this girl because she maybe trying to shop her friends that she is mad with you and that you are not going out. Underneath I really dont think she means to hurt. Going through this daily routine is pointless and wont get you anywhere. You need to sort this out once and for all. Tell her that you are fed up with this situation that you did not cheat on her and if she cant get over what never happened then you cant go on. You also need to say do you want to go out with me or not? If she says i dont know then you should tell her that you are not prepared to wait around until she makes up her mind. Hopefully she will make a decision if she doesnt then you need to say goodbye
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