A
male
age
36-40,
*ullen
writes:Yo...ive been dating this girl for about a month and i think she wants to have sex and ive been in a relationship where we moved too fast and it tore us apart ....i really like this girl and i dont want to lose her....i want to tell her but i dont want to sound gay....so what should i say...thanks....all the best Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 I think that honesty is the way to go with this one. You need to tell her that you simply arent ready. Explain that you dont want to rush things and that you really want to get to know her first. I think this is a really nice quality in a guy and i think she will respect you for this.
Good luck
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (10 March 2007):
 Be honest with her! Let her know you think she's moving way too fast (you don't need to mention past relationships if you don't feel comfortable doing that.) Be assertive and say to her you want to get to know her better before you rush into intimacy. If she really likes you then she'll respect and admire that about you and therefore drop the pressure.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): Tell her that you aren't ready to have sex with her as you think that being together for only a month isn't long enough to be jumping into bed together. You could even tell her about the relationship where it all fell apart as it moved too fast. Just remember to be honest with her. If you don't then you could end up having sex with her without being ready to and if she found out that you weren't ready it might rip the relationship apart. If she worth having a relationship with she'll understand.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (10 March 2007):
 You need to be honest with her: another way to ruin a relationship is with secrets and dishonesty. I hope you are close enough to be able to say how you feel. Make sure she knows why too, i.e. you care about her and don't want to move to fast and ruin things as has happened before.
We all handle relationships differently: she may feel that she's ready to do this after a month but you're not and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with you and if she, or anyone else, thinks there is, they're wrong. You stick to your guns and let her know how you feel. She should be flattered you care so much. It really is a breath of fresh air to hear a guy say this.
If she doesn't understand, I think you know what to do.
Good luck.
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