A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently found out my fiance is into extreme fetish porn, such as "scat" and "watersports" and it absolutely sickens me. I want to talk to him about it and let him know it bothers me, but I found it out by hacking into his computer looking for ordinary porn, so know he'll accuse me of spying. I really love him but I'm afraid that this will ruin our relationship. What should I do? x
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male
reader, funkykev100  +, writes (8 December 2009):
well actually scat is no big deal.
nowadays there are lots of chocolate play that imitates scat. that actually means there's a market.
there's no sick stuff in the Japanese porn industry such as blood and needle play, which really hurts somebody physically. Porn is 90% fantasy that you can't fulfill.
nothing to worry about.
A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (11 March 2007):
 Of all the porn in the world, that has got to be the sickest stuff in existence!!! To hell with the fact you've spied on him (its not really a big deal, if we didn't spy on Iran, we'd never know what's happening there) this stuff is gross like hell! Just tell him you found out, if he gets angry about u finding out, then leave his sick ass! If he's decent, he'll try to lie his way out before breaking down and telling the truth. In which case, u can work on this problem
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 God poor you this is a very hard thing for you to have to deal with. This sort of porn is vile to you and me but it obviously does something for your fiance. Bringing the subject up is very difficult and you must be careful the way you deal with it. Do you feel betrayed? I think I would? Some women get jealous of their partners being into standard porn? You have to get straight in your head what you want him to do. Do you want him to change his ways and get rid of all this porn? chances are he will only become more secretive. There is also the issue that he was doing something in this relationship that you knew nothing about this can be very hurtful. No doubt you love him dearly but you have to decide what you want. He will also be annoyed at you for hacking into his computer. There is alot to be sorted out here, you dont mention when you are getting married but i would certainly hold off on that. I hope it goes well for you
Aunty t
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): I think you should talk to him about it....but the fact that you felt the need to hack into his computer tells me that there is something going on in this relationship, perhaps sexually that made you uncomfortable and you don't fully trust him.
I would not get married, that is for sure. I don't know what these fetishes are that you refer to, but I know that if it sickened me then I would leave the relationship, I wouldn't wait for "it" to ruin it, I would be done.
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