A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.... after splitting with my boyfriend of two months im slowly gaining confidence. I am trying by all means to take him out of my system....I dont have feelings for him anymore. I have come to a point where i trully understand why we broke up and I am very clear about not wanting him back. I have just been reading books that tell me how bad it is to be friends with an ex. Me and him were very good friends before and sometimes I just miss him, but only on a friendship level. I am tempted several times to call him and to just chat about nothing, but the books I have been reading, and the advise I got from people are that I should never keep contacts with an ex... because he can easily take advantage of me and it can make us end up sleeping together..... I am starting to move on, even though im not interested in a relationship. I have lost interest in sex, and the guys that take me out on date are ok... but I am not attracted, romantically to neither of them including my ex.....Is there anything wrong with calling them and why am I always tempted?? he is the one who broke things off...
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 When did you last see or speak to him? The reason that i am asking this is you may feel that you are over him but if you see him again all your old feelings could come flooding back. I know this from experience i broke up with a guy and thought i was totally over him. I even got into a new relationship. Anyway a couple of months later i saw him in town with another girl and he smiled at me. All the feelings came flooding back and it was awful. So beware. I wouldnt go by what books say alot of people have very good friendships with there ex's. So by all means contact him but be very sure you are totally over him first. He may not want to get back in touch with you so there is a possibility of rejection here so think carefully. I hope it works out for you
Aunty t
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): I think you can do what ever you want to do. Did you only date this guy for two months and then you broke up? Since he is the one who broke things off, though, you may just want to keep moving on, it sounds like you still want him and that is why you aren't attracted to anyone else.
The more time that goes by without contacting him, the more likely you will find someone else attractive.
Sometimes relationships can start again, but you have to really decide if that is what you want, if you just want to stay friends, that is a bit more difficult, because once you have been intimate with someone it is very hard to go back to a platonic relationship, if it were easy then, you probably wouldn't like him in the first place.
If you want to call him just to check on him and see how he is and you think it would make you feel better, then don't listen to a book, go ahead and do it, just be prepared for anything like rejection or him asking for a booty call, which you do not want to give in to if you want there to be a relationship down the road.
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