A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, please can someone help as I am going crazy! Been seeing a girl for almost 3 years. We've recently bought a house togther and I am so confused as I don't think I love her anymore. I'm scared to let it go on any further but scared to stop it due to all the legal issues that will be involved! How do I get out of this hell while avoiding a big mistake!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 You are obviously very unhappy but staying in a relationship for fear of legal issues is doing both of you no favours. If you leave it and carry on living with her the issues will still be there. Tell her how you feel and take it from there. It will be messy sorting out the house, belongings etc. but if you are sure this is what you want then get out now.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 March 2007):
 You have to really decide whether or not you want out of this relationship or not. Could it be the pressure of having a house together that is putting you off her? Has she changed since you moved in together? You say you don't THINK you love her any more... First of all analyse your feelings for her. If you're definite that you want to split then you need to tell her. Let her know you're sorry but it's just not working, you really like and respect her as a person but you're not in love with her. Be prepared for tears and tantrums, that's par for the course. At the end of the day she can either buy you out if she can OR you need to get the house on the market again.
The only legal issues you have will be to sell the house again. It's unfortunate but hey, it happens. Much better to get it sorted now and be able to move on with your life than to continue to live together and be miserable. The hardest part will be telling her, it might also be a wise move for one of you to move out to give the other space.
Eve
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (11 March 2007):
 It seems time is of the essence here. You might be scared of the legal issues but the question is do they scare you more than spending the rest of your life with someone you're not in love with. Equally doesn't it worry you that hurting her isn't the most important concern you have? I think you need to be absolutely certain that you're not in love with her and this isn't just a guy reaction to commitment issues clouding your judgement. If you're sure you want out then you need to take independent legal advice about how to proceed and then sit down and speak to your girlfriend honestly and straightforwardly. Be prepared for her to be upset and angry at you but rest assured that if you really don't love her anymore you're doing the right thing.
CD
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A
female
reader, lea0289  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 first thing u have to do is explain to her everything! dont hide this any longer!!!!!! it will just get worse
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