A
female
age
51-59,
*ittlelaney
writes:ive just found out my partner of 14 yrs has cheated on me with someone i know and always hated.i cant eat,sleep or cope. doctor just gave me pills. dont know how to cope. i feel totally destroyed i need help?
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female
reader, iza1971 +, writes (17 March 2007):
My husband cheated on me with someone I knew but I liked. We have been together for 15 years. This was not the first time either.I was an absolute wreck-not eating or sleeping. He was desperate for forgiveness but the thing is affairs can be forgiven but hard to forget. I didn't like who i was turning into-depressed, irritable, and very obsessive about every detail of the affair and all the lies.
I felt so totally out of control-it just wasn't worth it. I got a quick divorce. I always thought my husband was a good guy, but the fact is he wasn't to me. The more independant I become from him ( which is sometimes scary) the better I feel about myself and the more I see him for what he is. Take control, stop blaming yourself ( which is what I did), and leave him in the dust.
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 Its bad enough that he cheated on you but to cheat on you with someone you cant stand it twice as bad. How can you get over something like this? Being with someone for 14 years is a lifetime. I dont really know if you ever will. But you will come to terms with it. Its tearing you life apart. Is he still living in the house or has he left? You need to put this in perspective. You have done nothing wrong here and yet you are the one suffering because of it. You are going to have to be very strong and gradually build you life back up. He has brought you down to right and you need to start bringing yourself back up. But you can do it. Keep yourself busy get out with family and friends. sitting around the house will only make it ten times worse. I know you face a long road ahead but you will get through this.
Good luck
Aunty t
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (13 March 2007):
 You need to get this man out of your life and move forward alone. He not only betrayed you in the worst possible way, he did it with someone who you hate? This truly is unforgiveable and moving on alone is the only answer.
I know it may seem hard right now, you sound like you're in a state, and rightly so after what he's done. But you need to take the help and pick yourself up. You'll be so much stronger soon after this and see this man for what he really is and realise that he actually did you a favour. Now you can get out there and find someone who loves and respects you.
I really feel for you, you sound so low right now. But I promise this will get better. Surround yourself with people you love and trust and you will slowly start to see you still have so much and that you deserve so much more. Don't take him back: this isn't even just a random cheating, this is premeditated to hurt you as much as possible.
Good luck and stay strong.
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