A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 26 and my husband's 29, and we've got a 5-year-old son who's in primary school now. We've been together for 4 years and married for 2 years.My husband used to dress well but now he puts no effort into getting dressed. I'm not saying he can't dress himself - he can - it's just he doesn't put any effort into it.I would like him to dress a bit more fashionably. I'm not expecting him to dress like a male model - just to put more effort in.Whatever the occasion, wherever we go, and whatever we're doing, he always dresses practically, and this is infuriating me.He has a brilliant body, always goes the gym, and looks tanned and toned, but never shows it off. His underwear's also of concern, he always tends to wear yellowing/ greying Y-fronts and they smell horribly. He always sprays air freshener on them to disguise the smell. Yeuch! It's put me off having sex with him, and we haven't had it for ages due to this.I want to have sex with him, but can't due to the issue with his underwear.I have tried to speak to him about it, but he says that he's happy. I also said I wanted to see his toned body too, but he says "No need to show it off at all!"I don't want people teasing him about his dress sense, that's all. How should I cope with the situation? I miss the old him (fashion-wise). He's still got his great personality and I adore him for it, it's just the fashion issue that needs to be sorted out.This has got me stressed out - please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Shrug, deal with it the way women have dealt with it for ages. Dress him up.
Men are like little kids, you can either try to change that or just accept it and work around it.
Don't like his underwear, replace it. Don't like his clothes? Replace them.
The reason for all this might be two fold. The relatively harmless "I am comfortable this way and only ever dressed up because I had to" or "I am letting myself slide because I am loosing intrest".
You say you haven't had sex with him. He doesn't mind this? That would be the real issue I think. Are you two drifting apart perhaps? If he knows that his current outfit is nothing him any sex from you, why doesn't he care?
Perhaps same as you don't want to have sex with him because of issues in the relationship (him not putting enough effort in an certain element) perhaps he feels the same? Are you two becoming just two people who share a house?
His clothes are easily fixed. Two people drifting apart is not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Did you ever think that he is busy taking care of you?? You are so UN-Thankful!!
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 As far as his outer dress code, I think you are screwed on this one. Honestly, I think we all should dress how we want, what we are comfortable in. You can talk to him if you want, but realize that he may take offense that you are trying to change him.
As far as the bigger problem.. solve this yourself.. Buy him new underwear and throw out the old and make sure he wears a new pair the next day by giving him a new pair and washing his dirty ones... or you can buy him a new pair everyday.. I think after awhile after he sees how much it's costing, he'll start wearing newly washed pairs.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Sorry I missed out the underwear thing! That is just wrong on so many levels, go out buy new ones and incinerate the lot! Stand back though the air freshener will burn well!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (7 March 2009):
Are you honestly afraid of people teasing him? He's 29 years old and can make up his own mind, I'm sure if his mates teased him he'd have a change of heart.
If he's happy with the way he dresses and you talking to him about it hasn't helped, you could always buy him something, and say you saw it and thought it would suit him.
If this still doesn't work you may have to live with it.
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