A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 17 and im having an issue. alot of people think im over reacting but i dont think i am. My school hasnt been doing back round checks on hall monitors and janitors because it takes to long and it is to expensive. One of the hall monitors that works there i am really good friends with and he always makes me happy. i basically just go to school to see him. i dont like him to be in a relationship with but just as a good friend...until now. The back round checks finally went through and after 3 years that he has worked there the school finally finds something wrong and fired him today. im taking it really badly and i have been crying about it. They didnt find anything too bad in his report except for assault when he was 21 he is 27 now. He told me all about it and gave me a long hug and kissed me on the cheek saying he would miss me and that im a very "beautiful, intelligent young lady and a wonderful friend". i dont know what to do but i am a wreck. Maybe i am over reacting but now i realize :you dont know what you got until you lose it" i probably will never see him again or for a long time. Please give me some advice. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 I don't disagree with any of your other answers but I'm going to play devils advocate here, a guy gets sacked because of a background check and is VERY friendly with a young student who he call beautiful.
Did you actually see the report that said it was an assault charge, because if I was on the sex offenders register, I would say it was assault when I was young or credit card fraud etc...
Maybe I'm being overly sensitive here but perhaps he was grooming you rather than just being a mate?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Life doen't always seem fair. But I will tell you this... People come in and out of your life wheither we like it or not. People come into our lifes for a Seasan, a Reason and a Lifetime.... Think about it... Which one was he and go from there, but for your own sake ask to see the background check they gave him. Mske sure he's being upfront. If he had that charge then he lied when he applied for this job, to bad the school took so long. About the expense, I live in KY and the schools send background checks to Frankfort and it only costs $10.00.... I might even question the school. He could go to the board of education and fight for his job back since his worked there for 3 yrs. If he has a good work history, no complaints and it wasn't a felony than I would call the labor board. It just depends what they asked him on his application.. Hope this helps... KL
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (7 March 2009):
 I don't think you're over reacting, but you also need to understand that the school is not over reacting either. When someone is entrusted with the care of minors, their record needs to be CLEAN. An assault charge, which means he tried to hurt someone, is one of the worst things they can have as it shows that he does not always carry out good judgment when stressed.
I'm sure he is a very nice man, and maybe one day you'll bump into him and be able to carry on your friendship. People come and go from our lives, and you need to learn how to accept the loss. Just take all of the kindness he showed you and apply it to your life from now on.
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