A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex girlfriend and I dated for about a year but never had sex. We were in a long distance relationship the last few months and she told me she wanted her first time to be with me... Unfortunately we broke up before we got to see each other again. Great timing huh? So over time we kinda talked and we ended up hooking up...she told me that since we're not dating we can see other ppl ( i wanted to date, she didn't want to try) She made me promise that I won't have sex with anyone else and that if i did, it would just totally throw her over the edge...A few weeks later we talked and kinda had a long awaited closure (she'd been acting weird lately)...she said she remembered the promise that she made me take and then she said its her business now and taht basically do whatever. I know for certain If i had sex with another girl she'd absolutely LOSE it. I would never do that unless I fell in love with someone else and it felt right. I'm still a virgin and I really wanted my first time to be with her and now i'm not with her and it kills me because we could have shared that special moment together. What's your opinion on her telling me not to have sex?
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broke up, ex girlfriend, fell in love, long distance, sex with another, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (7 March 2009):
 It sounds to me like she is toying with you and trying to keep you as a back up plan in case her other relationships don't work. I'd move on,let her go. Unless you guys are great friends and really emotionally close, and she really "gets" you, then I would try to end communication with her.
Find a nice girl that you are comfortable with, one you doesn't string you around.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): She said it's her business now? And that you should do whatever? "Do whatever" isn't very telling, but it's extremely telling that she's declaring it no longer any business of yours what SHE does. That probably means she's eyeing someone else already. She may have already slept with him. (I'm serious. Don't be too sure she hasn't, no matter how long and hard she made you wait.) Or else she is at least thinking pretty hard about getting with someone else. She doesn't like having to "release you" but she rationally knows she has to now.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Move on find someone who loves you. She sounds bitter and at the end of the day she is your EX! Who cares if she gets mad, so it's fine to see other people, but not fine for you to sleep with them. I think this girl needs to grow up and realise that you are either together or not, and if you are not together it is up to you if you have sex.
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