A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have become worried about my husband. He's spending far too much time with his boss. I know it isn't to get a promotion, as my husband's been promoted, and it certainly isn't in meetings either.I only know of this because my brother [he's 20] said he'd seen my husband and some guy laughing and joking in one of the local pubs when he was out with friends from university. I said to my brother that the other guy was my husband's boss.I know the boss is married with kids, as I've met the wife and kids at a Christmas party that the firm my husband works for hosted. I've only met them three times though. His wife and kids seem nice enough people.I have tried to find out why off my husband, but he insisted it's none of my business, and said I was a "controlling little bitch". He said to me that it's more fun than being with me, and that they did loads of fun things that we couldn't do together. He said he gets people making jokes about them being more than friends, but they laugh it off.I don't want to be jealous, but I don't get why he'd spend all his social time with his boss. Sometimes I feel like confronting the boss but worry about the reaction.I've already gone for counselling, so some worries are eased, but this is worrying me. It doesn't feel normal, and to me their friendship seems to be a bit more than boss-employee relations; it seems excessive.What's the correct way to deal with this?
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (6 March 2009):
 OK when I read the title I thought his boss was a woman, but your husband has made a friend! Wow I really would be worried about that!(sigh)
I do not approve that he called you a controlling little bitch, I think that is out of order, but he has made a friend, seriously what is wrong with that?
I'm a sergeant in the Army and have friends who are Private soldiers, is that inappropriate? are we not allowed to be human outside work?
I think you are worrying too much about this and I get the feeling when you say you have had counsellor in the past and his response to your comments that you may want to go back to your counsellor about this issue.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): Controlling little bitch? Seriously? Because you want to spend time with your husband. Girl you put up with way more then I would. I would say that you have to nip this in the bud now. Now I am not sure if you are thinking that there may be a physical relationship between the two of them or what but I can tell you this. I went through a similar problem with my ex and the reason he was out all hours having fun and whatever is because after we married he kinda got 'scared' about the fact that this was his life now. It was like he had some stupid guy thing to prove like, "yeah I can still do what I want". Do you know what I mean? Have you asked him why you cant be involved with this 'fun' that they are having? You are his WIFE you have a right to want to be with your husband!
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