A
female
age
41-50,
*onksDaBomb
writes:This guy and I have known each other for five years and have been good friends for about three, ever since I graduated from college, and have been flirting quite a bit since last summer.He was a prof in my college major so I saw him often. There was one instance that stands out in my mind (three years ago but still) and continues to bring a smile to my face:Senior year I had him for a class along with three other classes. Right before finals I was hospitalized for two weeks. I told my dad to email my four profs (this particular prof included) to let them know what happened. He did. This particular prof was the only one to either call or visit me (he called me and talked for about 10 minutes). I said "hello?" and without a hello he asked "what the hell happened to you?" He has a distinct voice so I knew who it was. I told him and he asked me what I was doing. I told him watching TV and he said "good. You have to get better cause I have something for you." Three weeks later I was making my rounds to my profs to figure out which finals I needed to make up. I stopped by his and he said "Lazarus is back from the dead!" and he started laughing but had warm eyes. I asked him about the final and he told me not to worry about it. He asked me if I had any scars (honestly the only personal question he has asked me) and I told him yes, two. He then said "I have something for you." He came back and gave me two large books of the subject the class I took was. Granted it's not your ideal "gift-giving" after a recently hospitalized person, but I cherished them as I thought it was a really sweet gesture. When I left he smiled at me and patted me on the back. That ws three years ago and I've never forgotten that.Fast-forward to now where we have been keeping in touch a lot (we live several states away and can't see each other) through email and over the phone. Both of us have been flirting a lot. I really, really like him and cannot stop thinking about him but the age difference is quite large: he's 59 and I'm 25. But I honestly think he really likes me, too, but since he is painfully shy as am I, he has never said anything. I'm coming home for Easter where I hope we can get together. I've already told him and he said that was great news and told me when he'd be off; sounds like he really wants to see me.So my question is, do you think he really likes me and wants to take it past friendship and is too shy to do so? How do I get the feelings out of a shy man? Cause I am just as shy and I don't want to make the first move LOL!
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (7 March 2009):
MonksDaBomb is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm not trying to put pressure on him or make him uncomfortable, just thought it would be nice. Because when I was home for Christmas we had a heck of a time trying to get together, I'd get his answering machine, leave a message, I'd miss his call and he'd leave a message, I'd return his message and get his machine, etc. etc. Figured it would be easier to set up when we can get together, that's all. But if you honestly think he'd put his guard up or whatever that term is just by me showing up then I guess I'll just try to give him a call.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Because it can come across as a little too keen, I don't know the entire reasons for this, it's just a little creepy.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (7 March 2009):
MonksDaBomb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm...somebody else (a female) said that since he's shy he may not like surprises. Why do you think he would not like me showing up like that? I guess I'm trying to get a male's perspective.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (7 March 2009):
I'd really play it cool, turning up at his office unannounced could really throw him off.
Just meet him as planned, don't get too enthusiastic about it, and see what happens.
Maybe send him an e-mail saying you are looking forward to seeing him again, and see what his reply is.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (7 March 2009):
MonksDaBomb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ArmyMedic :)
So do you think I should just go into our meeting at Easter as just friends and see if he acts differently or what should I do?
Here's one idea I have: I'm coming home wednesday before Easter and he teaches a class thursday afternoon. I'm thinking of stopping by his office after his class, unannounced, and surprising him. I have a feeling how he reacts would give me a small inkling of how he truly feels about me. What do you think? Do you think that's a good idea? Because this unkowing is driving me crazy!!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (7 March 2009):
I think his shyness and the age difference will probably put him off a lot! What is said in an e-mail and what is meant in real life.
Meet up with him have fun and see what happens!
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