A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HelloI met a man online. We talked for several months then he began asking me for money. He's from Africa, he said he's poor. I felt bad and sent him 20.00 for some food. Now there is always some issue. He needs for food, for transportation, for clothes, for data. I have helped him out on about 4 occasions but I don't even know him and he's talking about marriage and I told him absolutely not. Just online friends. However, I'm sick of sending money, yet at the same time I feel bad thinking what would I do if I was in his situation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2022): For the love of god run away. You are a mark and this guy is a grifter and con artist. Watch the “tinder swindler” on Netflix……
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2022): If you had met a man who was living in your country and meeting you regularly face to face, would you continue with a guy who is poor and needs you to pay his bills for him? Or would you wise up and say to yourself this guy is a loser, I am not going to have a sponger as a boyfriend, I am not going to be drained of my money, I will get rid of him?
When the guy is abroad he is not even a boyfriend. He is just words on a screen. Wake up and stop being so dumb.
What do you expect anyone here to do? You are supposed to be a grown adult, make grown up decisions and become wiser then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2022): Firstly, how do you know he is a real person?
Second, what ate you getting out of this 'relationship'?
Finally, don't you have loved ones closeby who could use your help right now rather than this scam artist?
There's too many of these posts on here with the same story. Find them, read the answers and wise up.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (2 October 2022):
 Open your eyes. This man has much more money that you do. He is not "poor". He is scamming you. He will have many gullible females like you sending him money.
I cannot believe people are still falling for this BS despite all the warnings out there. At a time when information is so easily accessible, ignorance is a choice.
Block him and find new "friends" nearer to where you live, and who will not be scamming you for money. By the way, the "marriage" would never happen. It would just be a good excuse for many more demands for money - for a visa, for a license, for whatever else he could get away with. It's the oldest scam in the book.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (2 October 2022):
 Many posts have come through DC similar to this one. Unfortunately you have fallen victim to a scam, you are not the first person this has happened to, and by no means the last.
As soon as he asked for money that should have sent alarm bells ringing within you. These con artists are very clever and convincing and tug at your heart strings with hard luck stories.
People fall for these false stories and end up parting with huge amounts of money and sometimes get into financial difficulties as a result. Once these people have parted with their money they end up never seeing the person they were sending the money too, as once they have what they wanted they will vanish into thin air.
He talked about marriage, there is another red flag, so well done for telling absolutely not.
This guy is a con artist and only interested in your money. DO not send anymore money, delete and block him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2022): You are being very naive. He is a professional scammer, he makes a living out of mooching from gullible women. He might have dozens of online "friends " whom he asks money from, and 20 here , 50 there, you can trust that he makes a nice little bunch every month.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2022): He's an online scam-artist, and you've willingly allowed yourself to be his victim. I can understand that people can sometimes be seriously lonely, and feel rejected; and sometimes may not use their best judgement when it comes to dating.
There is no such thing as an online-boyfriend living on the other side of the world. These guys sit in computer cafés in their villages or towns; looking for gullible lonely-women and gay-men over the internet to send them money. They are young, often quite handsome; and full of sob-stories and always coming-up with constant emergencies. He had several other women sending him money, just like you. Probably a few gay-men as well!
You can't even wire money overseas without seeing the posted signs in the MoneyGram centers warning people about online scams. You have to be quite thickheaded to ignore scary warnings like that; and yet insist on sending your money to men living on another continent. Sorry to put this so bluntly; but I have to push hard to get you to stop and think. Your lonely-heart is blinding you; so soft-talk will not get through to you. You've been sweettalked and wooed by a skillful player; and you like the way he talks to you.
Their favorite targets are naive women with low self-esteem. Those who feel rejected by men, because of their weight or appearance; and their preferred targets are mostly those people with a lot of money, and foolish enough to easily part with it. You think he's overlooking things about your appearance, and he sees something special that other men can't see in you. He sees dollar signs $$$; and a very foolish woman that he jokes and boasts about to his friends. Laughing about how easy it is to deceive you. Hating you, because he believes you have underserved money and privilege; and the fact you're an American. If you only knew how much he really despises you! He just uses you. I assure you, you're just one among many others. That's how they play it!
You are a willing victim. You see a scam right in-front of you; and you're deliberately pretending you can't see it. Using your money as bait. What advice will you really listen to if you are that naive, or manipulative?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2022):
 OP, have you been living under a rock?
This is an OBVIOUS "romance scam" He is MILKING you for money by making you feel BAD for him and thinking you are helping him out. You are, but not in the way you think.
BLOCK the dude. Stop sending money.
Do a little googling - romance scams.
Be smarter.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 October 2022):
 This man is NOT a friend. You are just a mark for him. He's not poor, just a crook.
Stop sending him money,and stop speaking to him. Block and delete. Problem solved.
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