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age
26-29,
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writes: hey,i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for a little over a year (let call him r), we have fun and love each other so much, but one thing he does hurts me. basically we went out for a bit before and then we broke up because we were too younge and silly for a relationship (at this time i had my hair dyed ginger).a few months went by and me and him started talking again(later i found out this was so his friend could see my bbf who lived with me). then i bleached my hair in the hope of dying it pink, but i had to give my hair a brake for a week until i could dye it pink so i was bright blonde, i knew that r really liked blonde girls and i used to be blonde before i dyed it, and as soon as i cam into school he started flirting with me i didnt know wether this was because i had dyed my hair or that we had gotten closer because of the amount of time we spent with each other. but i knew i liked it we shortly started going out and had an amazing summer and confessed our love (i never did dye it pink ).my hair is now growing out as i want my natural dark blonde back but when ever i mention bleaching it again my boyf gets all excited and it really upsets me to think he isnt happy with me.i am also have bad paranoia, so i get worried about him liking other girls because they are blonde. i hate how much he wants me blond and cant help thinking thats the only way he will want me i held of dying it pink for him once but now i dont know if i should dye itg for him (or my paranoia) or to leave it to grow out.... help please the questoion is am i being silly or is it something i should worrie about sorry how long it is thanks for reading.
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 I love the answer from So_very_Confused! Agree 100%... don't make changes to make someone else happy...make them for you...
If he is with you for the sole reason that you are blonde then he is not worth having around!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 I have to agree with SVC - don't change to PLEASE a guy. Because what if he wants you to have brown eyes or a bigger boobs.. should you then wear contacts and get a boob job?
IF he leaves you because you are NOT blond, is he worth keeping?
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 If your boyfriend will only like you if you're blonde then he's still too immature and stupid to be having a relationship with anyone, especially you.
You cannot let anyone control what you do or when you do it, anything you do it must be for yourself and please you. If your boyfriend doesn't love you for you then he is clearly not the right one and will be stupid for not realising the great thing he has in front of him.
If you want to dye it then do so, but only if you want it too. Changing your physical appearance is a huge thing and obviously dyeing your hair isn't for a really short amount of time and you don't want to be living with something you don't like. It's your body, your choices, your life, don't let anybody else control them.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 June 2013):
 Let me tell you my story. Note I am more than old enough to be your mother so t his is not a teen phenomenon.
My husband HATES blondes. He loves dark straight hair.
When we met I wore my naturally curly hair curly and I was dying it red. It's naturally very dark brown nearly black.... (and of course at my age it does have about 30% gray)
He made it clear what he liked (because I asked not because he told me what to do) and because it was no big deal to me I TRIED it straight) he loved it and offered to pay for the very expensive treatments needed to keep it straight if I was willing to wear it that way... I was and now I've gotten so used to it I don't mind it straight. Occasionally on weekends when we are doing nothing I may let it dry naturally but it looks strange to me now when it's curly... so while I TRIED it for him I KEPT IT FOR ME!
Now as for the color... maintaining dyed hair is a. expensive and b. very HARD on your hair. I opted to go back to my natural shade for maintenance reasons. I did it so slowly over a period of a year that for the first year after I went back to my natural color he still referred to me as a "feisty redhead" which made folks look at me strangely since my hair is brown now....
My point is this: Even though my husband would kill to have a young thin Asian wife/partner He loves me (not young, not that thin, not Asian) with curly red hair or straight brown hair. I have to love me too so I keep my hair the way I WANT to for me.
NEVER do something FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF when it comes to how you wear your hair, what clothes you wear, what books you read, music you listen to, etc.
Now many things I was open to trying with my now husband when we were dating, have broadened my horizons and my taste in things like music.
DO NOT make changes to please your boyfriend. Make them to please yourself. A man has to love the insides of you more than the outsides. He can't do that if you don't love yourself... in order to love yourself do things to please yourself... if they HAPPEN to please him, GREAT.
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