A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend looks at porn. This is fine. Although he tends to look at girls who are the seem like the exact opposite of me. They, for example, have tattoos, have edge, and are usually brunette. His favorite girl buddies also look this way.I have often wondered if this is his "type" and that he settled for me. How can I tell if he settled for me against his apparent "type"? There are days when I feel so unsure of what exactly he seems more attracted to that I feel like I should either change my appearance or bring the topic up and maybe risk an argument.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2012): Thank you for you insight everyone!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 December 2012):
 my husband likes to look at small petite (large breasted) young Asian women. I'm none of the above... but he loves me.
do not change who you are or how you look to please anyone but yourself.
people can be attracted to all types of people and some have a specific "type" and others do not. just because you have a type you prefer does not mean it's the ONLY type of person that excites or attracts you.
stop over-thinking this. if he's with you and he's happy and you're happy stop looking for trouble.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 December 2012):
 Here's an interesting detail about guys, which might help you make heads-or-tails of this:
The only real "type" that guys seek are those who will provide s**ual pleasures to them. After all, those pleasures can - and often do - take place in the dark... AND, assuming they do, how could a guy even see what the lucky target of his ambitions looks like?????
Also, you write: "... I feel like I should (either) change my appearance...." DON'T.... Don't change your appearance, or your behaviour, or your language or anything else about yourself simply because you believe (or, suspect) that some guy wants that. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, above all else!!!!
I hope this helps.
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (4 December 2012):
 Do not change your appearance for any reason unless it is something you want to do to make you feel happy, never do it for a guy.
His favourite girl buddies all look the same because they're his buddies and if you looked the same you would probably just be a buddy too. Guys look at porn for various reasons as well the getting off part. The women portrayed in the videos can serve as a fantasy for many or just something they find arousing. But the people us guys usually fantasise over are usually the girls we'd never end up having a relationship with even if we got the chance.
For example, in the UK there is a television channel called Babestation similar to Playboy TV. I'm an avid viewer at night when I need to get off and obviously I fantasise about these girls. But in reality, if I got given the chance to be in a relationship with a Babestation girl or even have sex with one, I'd flatly refuse. This is because my ideal girl isn't a slut or has tattoos, fake breasts etc etc. In fact basically the opposite of a Babestation girl!
So what I'm trying to say is he loves you and is in a relationship with you because you're different from his fantasies/friend group which is usually why friends who have a relationship end up breaking up rather quickly. You don't need to worry about him wanting you to look like other girls because if that was the case he would have chosen one of them instead of you. Usually a true love goes against any formation of type too. I hope this has helped and makes you feel more confident within yourself.
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