A
female
age
30-35,
*izBetty
writes:This is really bothering me because after many years of searching for true love it finally comes, but only to have a slit hold back. Now d story goes this way; i met this guy whom i fall in love with and i know he also love me as i do. One day he was going through the pictures in my phone and found out that he knew three of those my girl friends in my phone, so he told me he knew them,that two he has talk to them about relationship, but they turn him down. But the third his cousin sister. At that spot i was angry and told him i was no longer interested in the relationship and he ask if i was serious,and i told him yes. When he ask me of my reason,i told him that my friends may say the guy they rejected is who i am moving with. So we departed and since then he has not call me,even when he promise of calling. Am deeply in love and i can't control it. But is that a good reason for me to leave him and if he love me he would have call me since them. \Pls readers advice me and try to drop a comment for me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): Well you told him you weren't interested when in fact you think a lot of him. What is he supposed to think?
It's just an ego thing really, that he tried other girls before you. All men do that.
If you are so keen, why not give him a chance?
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (18 April 2012):
 OP I don't quite agree with the anonymous female poster when she said your reason for ending it wasn't valid.
I mean, he WAS honest in saying he knew these three other women, and he DID approach two of them about forming a relationship. It might not have gone any further than talking - that we don't know - though I do wonder that he was talking to two of them and got turned down (again why, he was rejected, we don't know). Also unknown is whether months passed after asking one girl and then approaching the other one......If so, that's not something to blame the man for.
The point is, YOU made the decision to reject him. at some level there must have been something that caused you to have doubts and led you to end it.
Once more: if you are now having second thoughts, talk with your friends and see what they have to say. Hopefully this will give you some basis to either decide you did the right thing in ending it, OR you might want to try again....
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, LizBetty +, writes (17 April 2012):
LizBetty is verified as being by the original poster of the question Lovely and best advice to you. I appreciate all the answers,you all take much time to clear me to the point i need the help.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (17 April 2012):
So you got angry and ended it because of what your friends MIGHT say?
Do you know WHY they dumped him? Was he manipulative, untruthful, borrowed money from them, abusive, cheated on them or something else equally nasty and a deal-breaker? Maybe you should ask them. See what they tell you and then you can think it over and decide what you want to do.
If there is nothing in his behavior that was bad or even questionable, you could wait a while - how long has it been since you ended it, by the way? - then call him and say you would like to try again........BUT I caution you against moving in with someone you have only just begun to form a relationship with, and not to be too anxious to have sex with him very soon! If he is a decent, caring and respectful man, he won't pressure you. (He may WANT to have sex quickly, but that doesn't mean you have to - even if YOU want it too!)
The point is, you need to get to know one another when you're just starting out, and it takes time to see how well-suited you both are - or, perhaps are not. Moving in together and having sex too soon tends to complicate and obscure the process of getting aquainted and becomeing good friends first. Beginning as friends is a good, sound basis for a relationship, you know!
Lastly, you said you "are deeply in love and can't control it." The truth is, even if you are "in love" you CAN control it! don't tell yourself you can't!
I wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 Your reason would be very valid if he talked about having a relationship with them while you two were together. If this is the case then yeah it was a good reason to end the relationship because it shows he is interested in cheating.
If this wasn't the case then maybe it wasn't such a good reason. Yes, the fact that he has gone around asking multiple girls for a relationship (in a short space of time?), makes him seem like he's up for anyone who says yes. But the time you spent together may have made him feel more for you and made him think that he does actually feel for you.
There are two possible reasons for why he hasn't called. There's the he didn't really care about you enough to fight for the relationship and will just move on to the next girl. OR there's the respecting of your decision. If he cares about you enough to realise that it's not him that you want then he has left you to seek happiness. In this case it's more of him just wanting to cut all ties to avoid getting hurt and not being able to move on.
I obviously can't tell you which of these reasons it is as I have no knowledge of him or your relationship. If you think that you have made the right decision in ending the relationship then you must stick by it as he obviously wasn't the one for you. But that decision can only be made by you. Hope this helps and good luck for the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): Hi,
I don't think your reason for ending the relationship was a valid one at all.
He accidentally noticed and recognised your friends on there, and he was honest about it. He could have kept quiet, but instead he chose to tell you.
Neither you or he knew about him being an ex of any of your friends. It's a genuine mistake/or opportunity, depends how you see it.
In none of the cases did he have anything serious with any of them, and the one is an ex.
When he asked you if you are serious, you said YES. So of course he is respecting your decision and not calling.
If you didn't mean it, or still expected him to call you, you should have told him. He can't mindread. You are judging him very unfairly in my opinion.
You contact him if you want to be with him, and you apologise for acting hastily, saying you have thought about it and changed your mind, if that is how you feel.
Otherwise, if your original feelings stand, then let it go, and him too for the reasons you told him.
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