A
female
age
22-25,
*ranny1297
writes:What do I do, I feel so confused depressed, guilty, sad. I hate this. My dad always criticizes everyone so I go upstairs and go on the laptop to avoid any arguments. Iv gotten so used to this that I subconsciously do it. It's made me become very unsocial, and realise that I never spend time with my family anymore; only come downstairs to eat and that's it. I'v realised that I act like a pig and now it's had a whole impact on everyone.My mum is so angry at me and she does this every time she gets angry. Now I wake up this morning thinking that this is where it starts, im gonna do something go for everyone and try to be more social and be a better person. But when I go downstairs to say good morning to my mum, I realise it's too late. I was supposed to go to my friends house and she didn't let me, and I respect that. But then she just started calling me a bitch ect just like my dad (my dad's abusive), she kept telling me that im a pig that I don't know how to talk, she just kept yelling and yelling at me, and made me go up to my room and she said that that's the only thing I can do, stay in it as if im renting it out. Without arguing I went to my room in disgust of myself and felt great remorse of what I've done. I felt so bad. It got worse when I realised I didn't have breakfast and it was 11am. I went downstairs to eat, But she screamed at me and called me so many names, so much that I just wanted to cry and punch myself that I let this happen, she said she won't let me eat until I feel truly sorry, and I do feel really sorry for what I have done, but she didn't care and said that she never wants to see me again, and that she hates me and that she wants me to fuck off. She doesn't want me as her daughter any more. I went up to my room and started crying so much, I feel extremely depressed, I cried for hours. At around 12noon she left the house with my sister. She left me with my dad. I managed to eat half a sandwich before I got fed up of my dad telling me what to do and threatening me so I just left. My mum came back and won't talk to me, if I do try and talk to her she just calls me a fucking bitch, pig. I haven't been out yesterday, and I feel so depressed. I think I've got depression in the space of an hour. Im a slow learner, I don't want him or her to shout at me, im sensitive and I hate it, watching them shout and call me names. I just want help, for someone to talk to me softly.I don't want to see him ever again, because of his abusive behaviour, iv taken on board his ways from a young age, I try to be less abusive myself, but it just never works, I know that deep down there is someone who can be an amazing person, creative and fun. But all this criticism smothers it, I want help, ive spoken to my school councillor about how I feel and said that it would be kept confidential, but she goes and tells everyone including my parents. How can I get her to forgive me and help me change my ways??
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male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (30 March 2013):
 You're more than welcome. I'm glad it has made you feel better and I really hope things improve for you soon. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to drop me a message, I'm more than happy to listen. Stay strong and keep smiling.
A
female
reader, franny1297 +, writes (30 March 2013):
franny1297 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much, this is the best advice anyone could have ever given me and I feel so much better. Thank you!!!
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ +, writes (30 March 2013):
This sounds like a really sad story and it is one that you really should be having to go through. A parent should never swear at their child and insult them to that extent, no matter how upset they are with them.
I don't really understand how this is all started. I can't believe that your parents are treating you this way just because you spend a lot of time in your room and on your laptop. Was there a real reason as to how this started, or has it always been like this?
I really feel for you because don't deserve this at all. You are not a bad person and you are most certainly nothing your parents call you. A lot of teenagers spend most of their time in their room on their laptop nowadays so you're not doing anything out of the ordinary, so you mustn't feel like a pig.
Also, try not to beat yourself up or do anything to add further mental or physical pain. Your parents are affecting you so much that you mustn't do the same to yourself. I can only imagine how your confidence must be effected by this, so you need to start trying to believe in yourself, that you are a good person and nothing like your parents say.
In terms of practical advice, I'm not sure what you can do because of the personal and sentimental value of this problem. How is your sister treated by your parents, is it very differently? The only real things I can think of is maybe looking in to parent-child counselling sessions or is there any other family you could may be move to in order to give you a happier home life? I hope this helps in some way and I really hope something can be done and that you don't do anything silly. You don't need to suffer in silence, you must speak out and seek help.
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