A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help :(Okay so im crazy about this man :'( but he is out of bounds, he is my teacher :S he is always so nice to me and flirts with me and knows what im scared of and he calls me nicknames and always says im his star pupil... he has said sum pretty outrageous stuff to (flirtin wise) and yeah i cant help to feel attracted to him. N yeah i DO know that i could never make move on him - as i know he loves his job and also he is married so i couldnt possibly break a family up or whatever. The thing is lately ive bn thinkin that i should keep my distance from him as i probaly make it obvious to likin him which i know in a way is wrong- so yeah i kept my distance and it worked for half a day then he came up to me and stood at the bottom of the room and starin at me and he was like ohhh everythin okay? and i was like yeah (in a kindda grumpy way) and he was like you sure? and i went ''Oh i dno'' then he just stood there and watched me as i walked away (i could see his reflection)then nearly at the end of the lesson he came up to my room when i was myself and way sayin ''i want to talk to u about ur test what u done yesterday, i said this to the others briefly but im goin to tell u in detail...'' then he said ohh i heard ur the star singer - yeah im sooo happy ''im really happy too he said smiling''so yeah i was sucked in with him yet again with his smile and his attitude towards him ''if ur a good girl al give u the weekend off so keep it up and the patted my sholder and walked away''i tired honestly i did :( but i cant help but to fall in his trap again :'( :'(so today i said to myself that i was goin to be the complete opposite of what i usually am like in his class - bascially instead of being the mature 6th yr i am i was gonna be the annoyin 1st year girl and it worked he got annoyed with me and shouted at me for the first time ever :Oi pulled him up for shouting at my lil sis which was brill!i annoyed him by openin up his door every second and then instead of doing my work i walked around the department the full lesson with my mate gigglin and laughin about stuff he kept walkin past and starin and i was like what? and he just looked at me and went away!!then he gave me his key to go outside for some fresh air but i hid it :@ childish i know but he said i cant lose it which i pretended i did and he is soooooo annoyed :'( :'(what should i do, im tryin to get over him but i dnt want to be nasty to him and have him hate me- what should i say n do?sorry if this seems pointless :(:(XX
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (4 October 2007):
You are right that you cannot have him. You tried doing the opposite and annoyed him, that's not the way to go either. Getting him mad isn't a step in the right direction, although if he did have any interest in you, you might have begun making him lose it. But this might make a lasting impression and could affect you negatively in other ways.
Basically, try to direct that flirtatious energy on someone your own age. Usually people begin to forget about someone they like if they direct the energy toward someone else. The problem is that you will still see this guy every day, so it might take longer.
You want to spend your love on someone that is allowed to return it. When the teacher starts flirting with you, you're going to have to find a way to end it. Give a hint like, "I've got a lot to work to do..." or some other line that lets him know you cannot talk right now. If it doesn't work, consider bringing up the names of other guys. "I hope Mike asks me to the dance," or "I've got a date with a guy named Jim from another school..." Even if it isn't true, but be careful if he's the type to ask you about those guys in detail. By saying "another school" or something, he cannot check into it.
Of course you have to work it into the conversation. Think of it like you're shooting him down indirectly. After a couple times, he'll probably get the hint and stop initiating the flirt, which will make it a bit easier.
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