A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was recently married 4 weeks ago and our sex life has gone down hill. Since I said I do the sex lasts about 30 seconds and he doesnt care about my needs. I have told him that I have needs to. So he says we will have to have sex twice. After the first time of having sex he says give him a little while and he will take care of me but that time never comes. What should I do now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI will give you a little more details. Before we got married he always made sure I was taken care of. I always knew his sex drive was low. We would have sex every 4 days like clock work, but he always made sure i was taken care of.When he is drinking not often but his performance was great. Do you think I should mention Viagra? He has mentioned sex toy for me to take care of myself. But my feeling is if I am going to use a sew toy why am I with him.Can anyone give me some ideas to soulve this problem? Maybe I just need to divorce him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): I would buy a sex toy (vibrator or similar - whatever pleases you) and make sure he knows you're using it. In fact you could use it in front of him just so he can get the idea that he ain't satisfying you. If he's stopped making the effort this early in your marriage I wonder what else he is going to stop bothering about? You must feel really let down.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (13 October 2007):
Seek a divorce on the basis of fraud.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 October 2007):
 Let him know that sex is not a race to win an award for "fastest shot". You deserve to get please out of sex. You could always get him all excited, even before penetration just get up and ask "was it good for you,"
Don't trust him with the twice thing. He all ready got what he wanted, so theirs no incentive for him to come back for more.
He needs to make sure he pleases you fully before you have sex, then the 30 seconds will just be a quick addition.
If he can't do it right, get him a subscription to Cosmo. I know from my ex-wife, they have instruction, and too many tests. I felt like I was being questioned by the Sexual Bureau of Investigation when it came to her getting her next book.
I hope everything works out, and he learns the importance of a healthy sexual relationship in the marriage.
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A
female
reader, NJmomabear +, writes (13 October 2007):
 Just dont let him in until 30 seconds before your ready. That'll fix him. Make HIM work for it if he wants it.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (13 October 2007):
Sex is about more than one person, how selfish of him. Even if he couldn't/didn't hold it for more than 30 seconds, he still should be considerate and finish the job using something other than his penis. In fact, he could do something else while waiting for his penis to get ready again and then use his penis assuming you aren't done yet.
Talk about this with him.
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