A
female
age
30-35,
*o_in_love
writes:Theres this guy I like, I've liked him for over 2 years now. At one point about a year and a half ago he was interested for a few months, but nothing ever happened coz my mate liked him too, at this point I was 14 and he was 16. Now I'm 16 and he's almost 18, yet nothing else has happened. When we're drunk we tend to get together, but nothing else ever happens. He tells people that he hates me and that he will never be interested in me in that way, but if thats true then why does he get with me when drunk? Hes not the sort of guy that slags around, and I know that he wants a proper relationship. I'm scared that this time next year he'll go to uni and I will have lost him forever. I've been with other guys to try and take my mind off him, but it doesn't work, and I have to end it because I don't think its fair on them that I'm in love with someone else. He has been on my mind constantly for the past 2 years, not a day has gone by I haven't thought about him. I really think he's the one and I can't admit that he might not feel the same. please help.xxx
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (16 September 2007):
He could be saying he hates you because he was interested and he felt you weren't in the past and still like you. He might actually hate you, but find you attractive, so drunkenness can hold back those inhibitions. People also could be lying about him saying those things.
If you really think this is worth pursuing, since it has been two years and you have one more before he leaves, it sounds like you'll need to make the first move. If he did feel the same at one point, there's a chance you can bring that out. But if it does turn out to be true that he said he hates you, how would you handle going out with a guy that slandered you behind your back?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): I have been there. When you are that age it is so common, for whatever reason, to be "in love" with guys who we can't have or who don't want us back. I think it has to do with the fact that you are new to this whole "dating" scene and you are probably still adapting to the change from being young and having crushes on celebrities and people you can't have, the fantasy part, to actually being in the real thing. I think it is normal. It is a transition. Cause when you get older you become more realistic. Well this guy only gets with you when he is drunk because he is just using you for sexual gratification. And even if you don't have sex with him, he is still using you for physical gratification of some sort. I know you "think" you like this guy, and you will probably hate me for saying this, but in reality, you don't really like this guy. You just think you do. I mean what has he ever done for you?? Has he ever gotten you flowers?? Is he there for you when you have a math test that you are having trouble studying for?? Does he call you every night to wish you goodnight?? You probably wish he did all these things but you can't confuse what you want with what you have. He does nothing for you. He even talks BAD about you behind your back. That's really mean. If a girl at school were talking bad about you would you be wishing she was your friend?? Of course not, you would probably hate her. There is no reason why you should be so "in love" with this guy because he has done nothing but be totally mean to you. Everything he has done is so mean. He is not going to change his mind about you. You should try dating one of those other guys that like you. Force yourself even. I think your main focus should be to try to put him behind you.
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (16 September 2007):
 Its hard being in love especially when its not returned, but huni if he isnt interested it wont matter what you say or do you cant change this. Any guy who can treat you that way, and uses an object of entertainment when hes drunk isnt worth your time or effort anyway.You know what they say time is a good healer and its true... give yourself some head space and you will be ok. Have fun lifes to short!!! xx best of luck xx
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A
male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 ask yourself, do you really want to be with a drunkard for the rest of your life, just to be appreciated by him? i dont think so. think carefully again, there is so many people out there, how can you be so sure?
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