A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 5'2 and i look about 12 i hate looking younger i realy want to look my age or older i have been told i am pretty which is nice but all i want to do is look older what make-up can i wear to make me look older (without making me look like a clown or trying to hard) at the moment i wear mascara,a bit of eyeliner and a powder my biggest and most anoying problem is that i have teenage skin which doesnt realy help at all.any ideas on apearance would dearly apreaciate .
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female
reader, Andrea S  +, writes (19 June 2009):
Looking young can be really handicapping - and really hard to discuss. I'm so glad to see answers in this column agreeing that it is a problem, putting it in the open.
I looked 12 at 19 and it didn't worry me, as my parents took me seriously - not in a kitcy-kooing sort of "young looking women look sweet" way. They saw me as a growing person with rights to feel, have a point of view, take risks, acquire responsibility, and explore my way into the future. But at 40-odd I still looked 20, and in all that adult time, finding friends, information, everything I needed, was really hard because I didn't look like who I was. (Telling people my age just made them think I was a liar, too - I found that out later).
If you feel you look too young at 14, I'm guessing you don't feel space to be respected for who you are. Our culture tries to tell girls and women that our access to everything must be through boys/men. So we must wear makeup and be cute. But I think it is your freedom to wear makeup - not your obligation. I'm completely sure you have a right to be taken seriously, either way.
My own experience is that makeup doesn't help. The people (including men) who really take an interest in who we are, don't need makeup or 'cute' for a passport. It seems to get the wrong people. Finding the ones who are interested in who you really are can be hard...it probably helps to know what you're looking for, though.
I don't know how you feel, but I never wanted to share romance or friendship with a boy/man who didn't take me seriously as a person.
The thing is how hard it is to keep waiting to find real friends, when you don't have people around you *now* who do take you seriously. Because we need that.
I think it also helps to find your own interests that don't depend on others - it gives you something to share. That's hard to do when you aren't being responded to like someone with a right to have their own interests. But if you do, you're a hero, for the extra work. Well, in case it helps at all - I'm rooting for you!
A
female
reader, LOULOU1 +, writes (15 April 2008):
hya, i totally empathise with you! im 28, and i look like a teenager, i swear it holds me back in the world of work, the way people treat and perceive me. Even once people get to know me they still don't respect me in the same way as other people the same age as me, i have a six year old son too, i was 22 when i had him and went to a todler group with him, not a single person spoke to me, and i totally think it was because they thought i was a teenage mum, ive just been made a senior carer at work and its hard. I even get asked for i.d for ciggerettes, its not much fun inspite of how others would imagine! your not alone!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I am 19 and I look about 13, it sucks. Trust me, you are still relatively young and still have time to age. Don't push it... I still hate looking young, I just gotta remind myself that when I'm older and everyone else is trying to look young again, I won't have any problem! Try see the better side of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Girls who look young for their age don't have a problem. Girls just seem to get away with it more than us guys. Young looking women just look sweet and cute. Take it from me us blokes DONT want to look sweet or cute, we want to look like men when we are adults. I get quizical looks from mostly women when I'm driving and in a bar. Blokes don't care a shit but women percieve us young looking baby-faced men to be weak or wierd or not mature looking enough to have a) a relationship b) a good job c) any life experience. I'm light blonde and 5ft8 too which makes me look even younger depite sporting a some facial hair. It sucks but when I hit 30 (I'm 25 but look like 17) I might look good.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (14 October 2007):
 young people look awesome as in you shouldnt want to look older wen u probarbly look beautiful the way you are. what i would say is the powder...maybe get rid of it? because its only making the teenage skin as you put it worse....i would say use a concealer that helps, maybe a slight bit of eyeshadow but no more than this
hope this helps
good luck
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): This won't help you, but I'll say that looking young is a good thing. I'm not putting down older people, but I'm saying that looking young is good. [laughs] However, I can understand how you feel. I'm nearing 29, but I still get checked for my ID, and people often mistake me as being 18 or 19.
Think about it this way, by the time you're 45, you'll probably still look like you're 25 with a little bit of wrinkles. How sweet is that eh?
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A
female
reader, Lila  +, writes (13 October 2007):
 Dermatologist are an invaluable resource,prescrition pimple meds and creams work very fast and are very effective. Also the clearasil conceal and heal creams and oil absorbing sheets are great. Bronzers and muted blushes are good, maybe a little bit of well blended lipliner. Hairstyles can also be very dramatic. A new cut or color could do wonders,something with piecy layers maybe. Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): You want to look older? Wait until you are my age, and you'll be wishing you had those wonderful, youthful looks. lol And why do you want to look older? Sweety, don't be such a hurry to be a grown up, dear...enjoy the your youth. It's truely is a blessing. You are a 14 year old adolescent female who looks pretty and youthful. The amount of make up you describe that you wear, is likely just perfect for your age. In fact, if you want to look older just to attract boys...then be assured most boys do not like make-up on females. Work hard on your studies, love yourself, accept who you are and just enjoy life, as it is.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (13 October 2007):
Honestly, there isn't too much of a difference between 12 and 14. And even then, there is a large range of what looks normal. Do you think you look too young, or has someone else told you this?
On top of that, most girls that look a lot younger and put on a lot of make up just look like a young girl with too much make-up. Trust me, I work in a high school.
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