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How do I ask my cousin to have sex with me?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2007) 84 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2009)
A male United States age 26-29, *TF? writes:

Hi,

I've been wanting to have sex with my cousin and I want to ask her, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. I feel she does sometimes and then I feel it hard to ask her. How do I know she wants to? How do I ask her?

Thanks for any answer, I just cant get it off my head she so pretty.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009):

beating round the bush might get u there but there might be some complications along the way so just come out wit it. and tell her the full truth about how u feel soshe dosent get the wrong idea.

i know how u feel. i told my, very sext cousin i liked her recently and she freaked but tat dosent mean it will happen to u. sure i know i guy who could hav got wit his cousin like tat so its very possible.

good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009):

my cousin is two years younger than me and she still to this date touches me and makes random sex comments, but being in the family I am with I would never ask her for sex shes attractive and all but its not worth it good luck and wow this question has received answers for 3 years now

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

incest is not illegal and people have the right to sleep with who they want but my advice is to wait tell your older dude your too young to be thinking about sex right now and when your older and you still want to do it with your cousin then ask her her about it.

[Mod Note] West Virginia - right?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

dude i have the same problem im 16 years old my cousin is 23 sometimes i think she want it but some times she dosent any more my advice is to jerk off and things will be alright

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

Are you people dumb he clearly states that "How do I ask my cousin to have sex with me?" His asking how to ask her cousin not how is wrong. I really don't know. Just ask her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

Just ask her. If you get rejected, say you were just kidding. Works with me all the time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

Don't do it! Try as hard as you can to push the feeling out of your head...I recently was on vacation visiting family and one night ended up sleeping with a cousin that is a little younger than me, 2 years. It started out very innocent. I can't remember for sure if he had been drinking but I know I had been. I was tired due the time difference, and he wasn't. I told him, "let's go lay down and talk." This was a regular thing for us, so I didn't think anything of saying this to him. We laid down and started talking, next thing I know, he was feeling me up. For some reason I didn't stop him. Being his older cousin, I should have not let the physical attraction get in the way of my feelings of what it right and wrong. During the deed, which didn't last long, he said he had to go and that his stomach hurt. We went to separate rooms and I left before he got up the next day. We didn't talk for 2 days and when we did things were odd. I find it hard to tell him I miss him, and that I love him without feeling that he thinks that I miss the sex and want it to happen again. I've always been very affectionate with my family and now I don't feel like I can't be like that with him. What should I do or say to him to make him think that I am over what happened without hurting his feelings or making him feel inadequate?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

don't listen to any of these men's advice! Most are totally sick!

It seems all the females have the right set of mine

Sweetie, if you really are 10-12, you really shouldn't be thinking of having sex anyway. Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into? I'm 24 and I still don't know what I'm getting into sometimes. Sex is so complicated!

Secondly, your cousin? I understand it's normal for human beings to have these types of feelings. We can't help it, so I don't blame you for your attraction. But that doesn't mean we need to act on that! You and your cousin are obviously close enough where you want to have sex, and my guess is that your parents are all close too. But despite closeness, how humiliating would it be for you if you get rejected? And better yet, you have a long life to live, and this will be hanging over your head the rest of it. You should really really think about the outcome.

My advice is to prevent yourself from giving into any temptation. In fact, back off of your cousin for a while. Focus on things that really matter in life. I have 30+ cousins, I know what it's like to have them around.

But that's just a no-no :(

xoxo

Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009):

Thats just not right.Whats wrong with you.Think about it.Even if you have sex with her, when you get up , how will you feel.Emberrased, disgusting, how will she feel , will you be able to watch her in eyes after that , will you feel guilty , will she, will her parents find out(if u f... her in p.s.y)

, what will happen then.Huh what about the consequences?I have advice for you kid.Remember this sentence: I AM SICK IF I HAVE SEX WITH MY COUSIN , WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF FAMILY FINDS OUT ABOUT HER LOSING VIRGINITY, SHE WILL TELL EVERYTHING TO HER PARENTS.Somebody will give one word advice : anal.You are so stupid about even thinking about it.Somebody will tell : I will just kiss her.Well thats just begging.After that you will think about something more.PLEASE TAKE MY ADVICE : STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR COUSIN HAVING SEX!!!.

Even those which claim that they had sex with their cousins THEY LIE.They dreamed about it when they were kids , just like you , and they werent able to manage it.Dont be sick.Instead, go and find yourself a girlfriend, or even friend and tell her about your sick mind.And please , i say please , dont think about you cousin.If somebody has got same problem and feels that it is wrong please add me to your msn list and have a little discussion with me.

(Mod note - have removed posters emails address)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009):

I have the same problem. Except it is with 2 cousins, i recently moved out to Nebraska to visit my dad's side of the family, and i discovered that i have 2 hawt as fuck cousins. Im wanting to have sex with them, my stradegy is sending them both my hot comments saying that your sexy, once a day. Im hoping they will ask me if i like them, ill say yes of course and then we'll carry on from there!

GO FOR IT!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008):

You need to turn your focus to sports, school and acheivement. You are too young to entertain sex let alone understand it. Give yourself some time...you have the rest of your life to have this experience. You'll enjoy it more when you can understand it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008):

Dude. I feel for you. I'm 29 (male) and my female cousin is 28. Ever since we were very little I've wanted to do things sexually with her. When we were younger 7,8,9,10...etc we used to sleep over each others houses and play games that usualyl involved nudity and touching. We used to play the "you show me yours and I show you mine" game, doctor...etc. We are older now but there still seems to be some sexual interest between the two of us but we are both afraid to act on it. About a year ago she came to visit me at my house. The very first chance that we had to be alone we were sitting on the couch together just talking and hanging out. We started joking around with eachother. I made a comment about how big her tits were and then we started the "i'll tickle you game". As I was tickling her, she was laughing and having fun but then I slipped my hand down the front of her shirt. She instantly stopped what she was doing and froze for a second. I slowly pushed my hand against her tit so I could get under her bra and as soon as I touched her nipple she let out a very subtle gasp and pulled away...but only for a moment. The we started the tickle game and once again I put my hand down the front of her shirt but this time as I was feeling her up she didnt freeze at all and continued to tickle me back. She then started to motion her head toward my crotch and said laughing "stop or I'll bite it". She then pinched the inside of my thigh really close to my crotch and pulled away. When she sat back up she asked me "if I was done" before she put her tit back in her shirt.

Then last month while I was up visiting my family she came over to my mom's house to visit as well. Getting right to the point, she and I once again found ourselves alone in my mom's basement this time. The topic quickly turned to sex talk as I was asking about her boyfriend...etc. She mentioned that she never gives blowjobs because she never really likes doing it and that her boyfriend always got pissed because she didn't want to do it. I honestly don't know how it came up but I jokingly mentioned that "maybe you just need to practice more" She laughed and said "maybe" and then looked a little uncomfortable. I asked her if she remembered when we used to play the "I'll show you mine of you show me yours game". She smiled and said "of course I remember. Why? Do you want to play that now!??" To which I responded "Sure". She then said that she thought that I was bluffing. So I told her to close her eyes and hold out her hand. I then pulled my dick out through my zipper and put it in her hand. As soon as it touched her palm she opened her eyes, jumped up and said "oh my god! you're crazy! I'm your f*cking cousin!" I just stood there frozen and embarrassed. I told her to just close her eyes and pretend that I was someone else. She got up and started to walk away. As she started to walk away I walked up behind her and put my arms around her from behind and said that I was sorry. Without turning around she reached behind her to see if I still had my dick out...as soon as she felt it she said "don't be sorry it's ok" and began to stroke me and as she did that I started to feel her tits again. She never turned around to look at me once and before we knew it we both had our pants around our ankles, her stoking my dick while I was stoking her pussy. She asked me "are we really gonna do this?" And at that moment we heard heavy footsteps upstairs and fearful that someone may come down we both pulled away, pulled up our pants and went upstairs.

We were so close and I KNOW we would have had sex if we didn't hear those footsteps. But the problem is that we haven't spoken since. Now its all that I can think about and I dont know if she feels the same way.

Sorry for the long story but I wanted to point out that you are not alone and that your feelings are very commmon.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008):

dude ur 10-12! u should not be having sex! you are way too young and ur cousin if she has any sense at all will say no when you ask her! you need to be ready to face the consequeses. like giving her diseases or getting her pregnant and being a daddy! and ur parents would prob hate you for life! don't do it! it's not worth it... unless you are going to marry her like before that which first off is a bad idea cuz ur too young and 2nd it's illegal

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008):

well u just need to talk to her about it , . in my case ,im frm india im really attracted to my cousin and have sexual fantasies about her , she is med student in another city , weve rarely met , except for a few family reunions , but the last time we met in delhi , it just set up some unknown sparks , i really couldnt explain it , then we chatted online , and all i could think about was her . i have sick thoughts that someone else may lay their hands on her . thats my sad plight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008):

my cousin and i have lusted for eachother for awhile now, but we have only kissed and touched. he is 2 yr. older than me..i always feel really gulity and afraid of getting caught and being disowned by family. but just the other day we were downstairs in the basement and i was sitting on the couch..he came up behind me and massaged me..it was so amazing- he rubbed up against me and kissed me allover..and i wanted him bad then and there but i knew we couldnt..i just dont know what to do becuz he wants sex..and i dont know how to feel about it..

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A female reader, mygrlz02 United States +, writes (25 November 2008):

I hope you don't act on those feelings. I don't think it's cool to mess around with a blood relative. Besides, if our parents found out I bet they would be distraught. Try to prevent family disputes whenever possible, it could tear them apart.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008):

My cousins do the same thing, I have a few cousin that are girls that start to act as if their drunk around me when their not and flirt with me all the time...I just look at them and have this really bad feeling that its wrong, they also give me signals once in a while then one time I wanted to mess around with one of them so I responded back then the weirdest thing happened, they suddenly became all serious...lol...its like they were hypnotized or something..haha...Is this normal?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

We are humans, all the humans have feelings. So it is not a sin. 80% if Asian country peoples marry there own cousins. Most cases grown up push them to marry cousin eventhough if the have relation with another person. I am from one of those kind of country and I have many friends who married cousins.

Let me tell u my story... I did not had sex however I kissed her a lot.. If I remember this is what happened. I noticed signals from her earlier, but One night we were watching TV, she was sitting close to me, some how she laid her body to my shoulder. I put my hand on her leg.. somehow we started holding tight.. We both liked it and after few miuntes we kissed.. That was my and her first kiss... I had no feelings to her before, however after our first kiss I wanted more... We did many times. For me, she was the attractive girl in the world.. If God give me an option to have miss world or the cousin, I will defenetly pick my cousin...

Now I have different girl, but the satisfaction my cousing gave to me was the bessttt and unforgettable. I even told her. I can get turned on by her anytime.. My heart beats goes high when she come close to me. or look at me.. I want to kiss her non stop for hours.. She had the same feeling, that's y she gave the christmas gift last year. We kissed a lot on last Christmas.. If I am lucky will get the best gift this year.. For me, no other girls can satisfy me better than her.. I know its just sexual attraction, i dont really want to have sex, but if any chance I get that or if she wants that, i dont know it might be a dream come true and I am sure that will be the very best satisfaction we both can get in life (I will take her to heaven coz she is my dream girl for years:))... Cannot ask, only way to know if she gave any signal that she is intertested.. If yes, we might need to rent a room..

I just worte my feelings. She is a sweeeet person in the earth, I like her so much in every ways, I always wanted to see her... may be I should ask or take a beautiful picture.. I love her eyes..

My advice: Chance wont come, if you have feeling, find out if she has it.. If she dosnt please dont even bother.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008):

tell her she is sexy and that you LOVE christmas

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008):

ok ill tell u of my story the full story for u readers.. well this was last year i was 15 and my cousin was 16 with the biggest boobs and butt ever. well every christmas our family has a vaction at those big high tech lodges with the cool views. their was about 50 to 60 people in the lodge so we had to share a room with one big bed. well it was christmas eve and everyone was already asleep except me and her. we where talkin about stuff and then we eventually talked about sex i asked her about girls and she asked about guys well we started to get sleepy and it was time to go to bed. but wat i didnt know was that she slept in her bra and underwear and we went in bed back to back when i turned around i saw he sexy body then i got and erection i had a pretty big penis for a 15 year old and i guess she felt something their she grabbed it not knowing wat it is and then shes like "do u want ur christmas present now" i was like "uhhhhh ook" then she stared to suck me penis for about 10 mins straight then she went on my penis and we had sex i think she watched alot of porn cause she was riding my penis like crazy but her butt and her boobs made it all worth it. good thing where not blood realitives i pulled out rite before i came. i cant wait for this christmas only 2 months away man wher gonna have fun by the way this was only last year so man im i gonna have fun this year lol true story

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

its easier then it looks you ask her if she has any feelings for you and if she rejects then ask her to think about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

Hmm hard to answer this but I also think it would be hot to have sex with you cousin maybe you could try and accidentally bump into her and your hand would touch her butt. Or you could wrestle with her and show her some moves that would let you touch parts. Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008):

so you want to have sex with your cousin,

the best advice i can give you is simple, approach her like you would a possible girlfriend, this gives you all the signs of wether she is interested in sexually, if she is then i surgest, going to a hotel to have sex, because if you both still live at home you don't want your parents in the house while your doing it. book the room for the night that way she won't feel like a slut if you just go for the afternoon or a few hours,

all this worked for me when i wanted to sleep with my cousin victoria, and believe me it is worth it, and don't forget to have sex regularly, my cousin and i are still having sex 15 years later after we first started, we now live to gether so its easier for us,

have fun and remember wear a condom

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008):

If I were you, I would just start slow and see if you get a reponse. If you do, go for it. If you're worried about her telling your family, maybe get some blackmail on her. I know it sounds wrong, but think about it. If she says yes, then great and she doesn't have to know. If she says no and is going to tell, simply produce the blackmail and forget about it. But, really, do what you think is right.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008):

I`m 23 years old and I have one year older cousin....and if she give me a sighn... I would fuck her so much!!!

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A male reader, bobcat Canada +, writes (30 August 2008):

Well my young friend, being at this point in time, the last post, I doubt you will ever read this. But others may, so I will post my opinions along with everyone else. 1st! at your age emotions run rampant and wild, but I also know that they can run true! So you have feelings for your cousin...WOW, call the tabloids, we have a freak!!!.....FCK them! Despite my profile, I have been with my 1st cousin for 65 years now! We have 8 wonderful, (AKA NORMAL!! For all you hypocrites) children, and 7 amazing grandchildren!

Times might have changed since I was courting..(dating), but some things stay the same my friend!....

1st) Do you have feelings for her, or is it 'sex lust' ?

2nd) if there is feelings, have you said anything?--

-- Don't be blunt here! back in my day we took girls for sodas or shakes. Do the same with her, go for a burger or something small.

3)small talk and honesty! think of it like your first date, but don't try to get in her skirt!!..treat her like you love/like her. Get to know her more than 'family' dictates! get to know her like she wants to be known.

4) Understand what she likes.

5) don't let 'family' or 'law' stop what blossoms

6) hint at sexual fantasies. IE.. "dare you to tell me what turns you on" ......(I made it into a game for us lol")

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008):

I'm 22 and my female cousin is 17. We are third cousins which means that we share the same great great grandparents. I want to have sex with her. The thing is this: my family CANNOT know about it, that is...if I ever want to have sex with her again. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your cousin, but treat it as you would ANYONE else-- start as friends.

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A male reader, my_cuz_is_hot United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2008):

my cousin , Laura is soooo hot! I've wanted to bed her for years! We're both in our mid-late 20s now and the feeling of sexual frustration around her has never subsided.

I say get in whilst you're young and enjoy some good clean safe sex with her and keep it as a special secret

good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008):

Well, get alone with her, watch a movie together or whatever, get close, cuddle and snuggle and whatnot, and if it feels right, you'll know what to do from there, but what about waiting 4-5 years first?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008):

To have sex with your cousin and ruin the relationship you have is too risky. It's not worth it because there are always more people that you can find having sex with that is way hotter than your cousin.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008):

Hey there, I'm having a simalar problem. My cousin is a year older than me and she is really cute, but i can;t muster up the courage to ask her how she feels about me. I would never want to ruin my relationship with her, but i also wouldn't want to go through life wondering what could have been. It also dosen't help that she lives with me and she walks around naked all the time. But anyways, I would take the plunge if your braver than me, and trust her not to tell anyone if she rejects you. There is also the fool-proof plan to act like your drunk and confess your love for her, and see what she dose. And again, i would wait untill your older, you could try and really ease into it and in a few years she might come out and say she is attracted to you. Good luck!

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A male reader, kaff Mexico +, writes (21 July 2008):

man, that's ok, i think your too young yet, but it's ok to feel that way.

im 17 and i've been having sex with 2 cousins for about 3 years now, one is 21 and the other is 18, and im really atracted to another two cousins (15 and 13(she's kinda young but she is really really hot!!) and i think they are atracted to me too.

what you gotta do first is to know if she's atracted to you, at least just a little, then try to kis her, make out, then, if everything is going ok, just talk about having sex.

it's not hard. if she doesn't feel the same way nothing bad is gonna happen as long as she doesn't tell nothing to the family.

i wish the best for you bro!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

If you love your cousin, then you wont have sex with her. Having sex with your cousin is kinda disgusting. Go out and get you a real girlfriend!

(P.S. I think my cousin is attractive but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with her.)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

Dude, I always wanted to have sex with my cousin and I did when I kissed her I was when I was 19 and she was 18. we still have sex today. So Just kiss her first then ask her for sex but make sure she doesn't get pregnant.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

Hey, I always wanted to have sex with my cousin and I did when I kissed her, This was when I was 16 and she was 13. Now I'm 19 and she is 16 and we still have sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

Dear poster, I bet your sorry you asked. I bet you didn't expect so many people to answer you and to be so unkind to you as well. Well you asked Dear Cupid, and we've given you our advice. Your too young, your disrespectful and it may be illegal between family in your country. Hopefully you have been sensible and have now found something better to spend your time on instead. Good luck to you, be good and stay safe. Hugs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

Youre to waaaay to young to have sex kid. Way too young.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

hi when i was 12 my cousin (he was nearly 14) came over to our farm in the summer for a mouth we hung out everyday after about a week 1/2 we kissed we just wanted to try it as we hadnt kissed anyone before one day we just started talking about sex then a couple of days later when we were in the corn field started talking about sex again and he started felling my ass and boobs (not that there were much there only b) and i started getting really horny one thing led to another and we had sex i was on top it didnt last long and felt weird at first we had sex 6 more times that summer (at the time didnt no about safe sex). the next summer he came over again and yes we had sex alot he also had a weird fetish about making me fat i think as he kept feeding me the hole time i gain like 28lbs mostly on my belly and ass i looked pregnant by the end of summer. at the end of summer my vagina was so loose in looked like i had been in a porno. now im 17 lost the weight he always put on me every summer and at the top of my class at high school i still see him sometimes and we have sex when we do but it is time to move on its been a great teenage years so far

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008):

Don't believe what people tell you when they say that if you have kids, they will be retarded. The chances of you getting a deformed child is only 1.7-2.8% increase from non-related, which is 2-3% for normal compared to 4-6% for cousins. Marrying a woman over 40 will give the same results as marrying your cousin with birth deformities which is still vary rare. While at the same time, you are much less likely to have miscarriage in a cousin relationship as your body chemistry is closer.

For most countrys, cousin marriage is preferred. In the USA we were later raised that way because of an observation by a scientist without enough study which in reality he was proven wrong but the fear of deformities remained with Americans.

26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US.

No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.

Sex with your cousin is NOT incest, it is only defined that in the USA from society due to the fears from the observation a long time ago which proved false later.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

hey i have the same problem sort of.

the differnce is my cousin is 16 and im 21.shes sooo fucking hott.and i know all of you are thinking straight away that im a pedo lol well im not,ive never ever been attracted to kids before,and to me she isnt a kid,yeah shes 16 but she doesnt act like it or look like it in the slightest.shes hot as hell and i have tried to make some passes at her but never really seem to get a responce,well..nothing hugely negative.i know its strange,but seriously am i weird for likeing my 16 yr old cousin?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

hey i have the same problem. i want to have sex with my cousin but i dont know if she wants to back, she acts like it sometimes but doesnt others. i just want to know how to ask her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

I to am in this situation bro. The scary part is, is not knowing how to come out and say it without the person taking it the wrong way then telling the family. Then your in an even worse situation. I don't know what it is but its just she is so hot and so cool.. Its tempting, but heres some advice, ease into it. Try to slowly make it known without coming out and saying it. If she reacts weird then it wont happen and just say when asked, I didn't mean to come out that way. Straight up asking will either ruin your relationship or be the best thing ever. Its a chance I wouldn't risk in my family. But like I said, see how she reacts when you try to put the move on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

let me tell you something, im 25, and my cousin and i had a hot relationship for 2 years in secret, it was the best 2 years of my life , i have slept with 9 girls since and nothing could compare, its the kind of thing where she could just touch you and you tingle throughout your whole body. she knows that we are ment to be and its sad acutally because the only reason we are apart is because she knew that we could never have kids and thats something that she really wanted. but we always see each other and talk about old times and how great they were. best of luck to you and dont care about what other people think, because after all , you could be missing out on the greatest opertunity for happiness and true love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

you no, if your 10-12 i strongly suggest you wait a bit.. im not one of thoz ppl who dnt undastand ur situation, i do. but at tht age its a little risky becoz if shes a yang girl she mite not hav an idea of wat emotions really are or if shes older she mite think that ur still a yang boy confused and doznt really hav any feelings so just out of that she could say no.

wait for like a year and a half, use the time to talk to her and sty close, if u still fel the same way, then at that time she probably would and you can give her the euphoria she is bound to remmeber.

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A female reader, ForverRed27 United States +, writes (18 May 2008):

Honestly, i find having attraction to your cousin/s okay, i mean we are only human. But in all honesty, i find in wrong, disgusting and in a sense immoral to actually pursue sexual activity with your cousin. Especially if you are blood related. That is just like saying "i want to have sex with my brother or sister". you might not think that just because cousins are a little further off in relativity but you are still apart of the same family and are blood related in some way. Especially if you accidentally get her pregnant, you dont want to be what is socially called an "inbred".

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

yea im 15 i wanna screw my cousin so bad...thing is i know shes not interested.so my advise is...make sure she feels the same.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

Maybe you should first start off by perhaps making out with her. Have you two kissed or at least made it to first or second base? Joke around with her a little at first and see if she responds positively. Test the waters my friend. Start with some nice subtle flirts and then take it up a new notches to see where it could lead.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

I have some decent looking cousins as well. Best of luck, but don't have kids, or they'll look like The Hills Have Eyes...don't want that...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008):

Dude, bad idea what the hell is gonna happen when she gets pregnant? What are you gonna tell your parents? Oh she just went off her diet for a couple of weeks?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008):

Wtf! It's your cousin, that is sick. I don't know.

My fiance was raped by her cousin when she was 17, so maybe I have a bad taste in my mouth! Stay away from your cousin.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

Hi, I'm 16 and have expierience a similar situation. I've always been close to my cousin, she's 15 now and ever since we've been toddlers we've slept in the same bed as each other. I guess our parents never thought anything of it since we were cousins - and neither did we. But for a while now we've been really close, as cousins, and as friends. And about a month ago, she came round, and ended up spending the night, anyway we went to bed and were talking for a couple of hours. She moved into my bed, as per usual, we've often slept next to each other. But the conversation moved onto sex, and how we were both still virgins, and after a while i got a hard on naturally. However, she felt this, and even though i tried to hide it i knew she knew. Suddenly i had the urge to shag her. And for a moment we just looked at each - then she kissed me. I held her tight, and she went under the covers. Next thing i knew she was blowing me off! It felt great! That night we had full on sex for the time, and we both found it amazing. Since then we keep meeting up, sleeping in the same bed, as usual, are parents think nothing of it. I think at fist we both thought what we are doing is kind of wrong, but we've now decided that both of us feel extremely secure with the other, and we really do love each other. So we're going to continue having sex. Neither of our parents know, but i guess we just have to come to that hurdle when it arises. But all i know is that my cousins hot, i'm hot, and we've both fallen head over heals for each other, so why not?! I think we are soulmates. In addition, we know each other inside out, so stuff like anal-sex just seemed to happen, there's no hesitation or embarassment or should i or shouldn't i: we just fit. I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl, she's amazing xx.

So what i'm basically saying is that if you and your cousin are going to happen, you just will, and one day, you could find your soulmate, and in the process have the most amazing sex ever!

Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

I know how you feel. I have a cousin i am absolutely in love with my cousin. She is so beautiful. I can't stop thinking about her. Shes so god damn pretty. Im 15 by the way.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008):

Let me say this..Just do it. i'm having sex with my hot cousin and its great you know.forget about incest thing.its all bullshit.ppl get married to their cousin in all over the worldmaybe its kind of weird in u.s but its nlot like the rest of the world is wrong blah blah blah ...you know what im saying anyways i'm 21 now but the first time we did was like 4 years ago. shes 4 years older than me..get her drunk take her to a club sleep next to her dont be affraid to touch her.start kissing her on cheek and then neck and go on.make sure she knows that nobody is going to find out and feels safe with you... dont only just fuck her if you wanna do it again. Be NICE nut i gatta warn you SEX makes you feel closer to her you know? more attached...and trust me you dont want to have feelings for your cousin in this society

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

hey...i am so glad i read this question.i am having the same problem..my cousin is very very hot...i cant just stop it......i know she likes someone else..but i think its normal...i understand you.its so unstoppable......if you really want sex then..try to touch her..and keep going...and see how she reacts to that..if it is positive..then it might be your lucky day....i tried this but my cousin stops me but doest say anything...........and for those who think having sex with cousin is gay..or stupid.....probably you dont have a hot cousin..and its so hard for u to understand..after all its your cousin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Well ye, read all your answers its got some true in it.

What else, if your 12 or whatever, then f*** me shouldnt be thinkin bout it yet.

Ye met my cousin after 3-4 years now, and shes well bad, im 17 by the way and shes like 20, thing is you dont f*** every person you think you want to. Feelings change in time, as i bet they will for you, then you probably will be much older and wiser.

Best of luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

I know how all of yall fell i have a cos that is so hot every time i would see him I felt like i wanted 2 have sex wet him i dont know how he feels about me but some times i see him looking at me like he loves me and wants 2 have sex with me idk guys dum like that i am not saying all guys

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

I dont know how to ask i wish i had an answer to that question. Your not the only one. Try playing "nervoous" it might lead to something or offer a back rub. If you really want it just hint best you can Im not sure how to ask risk free though.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

I have the same feelings 4 my cuz. Ive tried so many things like, talking dirty with her(about dicks and boobs and stuff), i've even showed her my dick and all she said was "dont expect me 2 show u anythng", i've touched her boob a few times(she was wearing clothes though), i even walked in on her getting dressed one day in her room on perpis bt she was wearin a jeans and she covered her tits befor i could c anythng... :-( bt im stil trying 2 get in her pants, hpe im succesful in the nxt couple of wks, coz i so wana fock hr. Did i forget 2 mention she is extremely pretty. im 15 by the way. But dude dnt give up keep on tryin!! Report back nd tel us if u made any progres or not ok!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

i wanted the same thing as you and so one day she was teasing me about something and i kinda tackled her and just started feeling her up. then she took off my pants and started giving me a bj and we've been having great sex ever since. i say just start touching her or just come up naked too her and see wat happens. if yo think she does want to sometimes she'll probably have sex with you. you could also get a little dunk with her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008):

dude u should do it i have sex with my cousin and it feels great i am 16 years old

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A female reader, piperr Kenya +, writes (28 February 2008):

you wana have sex with your cousin,go ahead.i had hots 4 my cousin for long and one day we got drunk n we had sex.thats all i wantf n i got it though we ended up badly n family found out.so get her drunk bt consequences have to b there.so be ready.gud luck.

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A male reader, WOLF United States +, writes (9 February 2008):

I wont to fuck my cousin to but maybe its my family's fault for talking about sex around me and talking about her body but every time i see her i just stop thinking about her just to list some stuff they talk about her p**** and her breast and most of the time i cant get up for awhile so i know how you feel and i cant find a way to ask her or tell her because i don't wont to sound dumb

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

see it is natural to have a feeling this way...... if she feels the same about you then go on..........but though iam afraid that this would not cause any type of emotonal gap betwen you both after you have done.start off by a topic that could get her aroused and then finaly ask if only she response realy positively to your discussion................i will take time but the sex is a sureity!

good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008):

I am a 13 year old guy who has dry humped my cousin on many ocasions. I just asked her "do you want to have sex, but not realy?"

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A male reader, sushu_2 India +, writes (16 January 2008):

look.... you want to ask your cousin to have sex with you, right....?

well ask yourself that do you have any affection or feelings towards her... if yes, then go ahead and tell her about what and how you feel about her. that might ease her up to give you a positive answer... its because girls don't like to have sex without an emotional attachment from their partners (unless and until she's a whore).

but remember one thing... if u have sex with her first and then tell her about your feelings i.e. you love her, etc, you're screwed.... next time she won't even see your face....

if you want her to be yours forever,

1) Tell her about the feelings you have towards her.

2) Ask her out... (if she denies, then its a strict NO.. NO..)

3)When your comfortable with each other and alone give it a try....

4)If she gives a positive response, Make her feel like a woman......

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

danm u don't know how bad i want to have sex with my cousin, i want to lick her ass so bad, i want to taste her pussy and fuck her brains out all night long, man i wouldn't even go to work the next morning so that i can continue to fuck the shit out of her. man it would be so exciting to have a secret sex affair with my cousin, just the thought that i'm fucking my own cousin combined with the thought that its so wrong but still would feel SOOOOO GOOD....!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007):

i simply said to my cousin you look beautiful, obviously we was alone, i put my hand on her cheek and she came to me, then we had a bit of 4 play and resulted in wild sex and we do every week, i pick her up in my car go sumwere and do it, u will luv it once you break the barrier. go for it mate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007):

Well my good friend. I tend to use the shovel instead of any embarassing questions. One skelp to the back of the head, pull her P.J's off, have your way and game set and match. Its as easy as that and she won't remember a thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007):

Sex with a cousin is incest. Not necessarily true.

In a Judeo-Christian culture, The Holy Bible: Leviticus, Chapter 18, explicitly defines the prohibitions against whom you must NOT have sex with. Conspicuous by it's absence is any reference to a "cousin."

The question of legal prohibition against marriage has to do with degree of affinity (how closely are two people related), NOT an absolute prohibition. Every state in America allows second cousin marriages. Most allow marriages between first cousins. The Roman Catholic Church automatically allows marriages between first cousins once removed, and the local ordinary (that is to say, the bishop) can dispense (authorize under Canon Law) a marriage between first cousins, assuming it is permitted by local law and custom... in California (where I'm writing from) such is the case (first cousin marriage is permitted).

Now, that said, many families (most even) in our modern society will be upset and extremely discourage such a relationship between family members. In an environment where relationships are anyways not likely to last no matter how you feel about someone today, consider the damage to the family unit when the two cousins (and now I'm assuming the relationship is between first cousins) decide to part... and when people part ways, it's usually with much anger and hatred. Now, what does the family do? How is the family suppose to react to one another? The potential destruction of the integrity of the family unit is exceptionally great in these cases, and that is one reason why St Augustine (an early Christian saint and father of the Church) set prohibitions against such relationships between close relatives.

Today, much of that has been relaxed. However, morality and legality notwithstanding, this is not the right thing to do for a variety of reasons. At 12, to be perfectly frank with you, you have far more pressing issues to deal with in your own life than worring about how to get into your cousin's panties.

Intercourse is not a game. It's very serious business, and it carries with it certain obligations and responsibilities. Women, especially relatives, are not toys just around for you to play with. I am less concerned here for your (too young) age and (capable of being questioned) desires than I am for your lack of respect for the dignity of women in general. This is a serious maturity issue which someday you're going to have to come to face. What is clear: you are not yet emotionally ready for this kind of experience in your life, and if you choose to pursue this not, both you (and your cousin) will in all likelihood live to bitterly regret it.

I'm not telling you to forget her entirely. Maybe she will turn out to be your true love, someday. If that's what's truely "in the cards," time will tell. But both of you need time to do a lot of growing up before embarking on that kind of activity.

The downside? In my considerable experience counseling young women (teens and 20s), more than 95% regret having had sex too early in life, and wish they had waited. It's one thing to have some girl you'll never have to see again hate you for talking her into doing something she may or may not have been predisposed to do. On the otherhand, are you willing to take that risk with your cousin? Think hard! Moms and Dads can get divorced (annulled); you don't get to divorce your siblings and cousins. Those are relationships preordained to last a lifetime.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007):

1. you just want to explore ur sexuality at your age.

2. your cousin is the girl who's a bit closer among the rest.

3. sex is not asked, it's mutual.

4. thnk of the consequences.

5. if you realy want her, study hard first and let time go by.

6. check that feeling years later if you're really meant for each other.

6. pretty soon if the feeling is still mutual and if you are both able to support yourselves, transfer to a place where there is no pressure from family circle.

7. go back to number 1.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

she's you cousin...which means she's a definate NO ZONE! so play it smart and stay away...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007):

Hey

I'm a girl and I understand what you are feeling, girls think the same thing. You should probly just say some day do you want to hang out and then work your way into liking her and she will like you more and more, but i you guys already like each other like that then go ahead and say I like you a lot and I really have been wanting to have sex with you.

well good luck

Jessica Hanley: age 11

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007):

You don't ask girls to have sex - it's a blunder and she'll be embarrassed or put off by your clumsiness. It takes time to know what a woman is feeling - you can't hurry it and you have to learn. By the way, you can marry your cousin in England and many other countries - it certainly isn't incest.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007):

look man i dont know what to tell you im a 16 year old and im horny half the time i have a cousin that lives with em she looks better than half the girls in the city and my bro did her older sister cousin/cousin am i mad that he did her now going after the second one yeah but all im saying is alot of people bone there cousins and dont talk about it we are animals and animals bone there cousins were just to civilized to understand what we really are do what you feel is right and leave ti at that tell no one its not our business anyway and you older people its hard to have sex at 16 you all make it sound like you go to this hot girl and say hey lets date and screw not simple at all

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A female reader, xxbaybeegal United Kingdom +, writes (27 October 2007):

xxbaybeegal agony auntwhat the hell is the first thing that pops into my mind, now you want your cousin to have sex with you. The best thing to do is to NOT ask her because if you ask her she might get offended. and also it will break your family relations and will get all in a tangled mess. be safe you dont want an unwanted pregnancy. wait till your over 16 then have sex with the right person at the right time

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A female reader, IngridMarguerite United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

IngridMarguerite agony auntWell, I for one, don't believe a Goddamned word of it. I mean, it's not even that outrageous or anything. I'm just clairvoyant. And my sensitivity tells me that this post has nothing to do with a youth in dire straights. More like some (possibly older) person playing around. Posting false. Okay, I know there are incredibly bright preteens out there, but, come on, look at the use of correct punctuation. Not to mention capitalization. Hey, also, I thought there might be an age requirement to meet to join this site. What a trip that there isn't!

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (14 October 2007):

I think we're all in the majority when we say don't do it. Your sexual urges are natural, but you must realize what kinds of lasting effects might come out of this all because of one moment in your life. It can cause a large rift in your family, there could be legal ramifications (though I have never heard of a 10-12 year old being prosecuted for sex, with a member of the family or otherwise), and your parents could be mad at you for a very long time.

I am guessing you spend a good amount of time with her, so you may be having these feelings toward her because you are getting closer to her than most other females. Focus that attention on someone else and the urges for your cousin will start to ease.

Remember this now and 10-20 years from now. A lot of trouble can be avoided if most of us just start thinking with our heads instead of our crotches.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007):

Phil, so what is your point? We are advising a 10-12 year old male, here who wants to have sex with a female who happens to be his cousin. He doesn't want to marry her. It matters not if 'cousin incest' is taboo, illegal, right, wrong or they can get married...sheesh! The point is, it could be very highly likely that his family may have an aversion and suffer deep pain if he were to have sex with his cousin. (a lot of families feel incest is taboo--that's the reality) Why don't you ask him...what would his family think of this possible relationship if it were to take place...now or in the future? He's a youngster with raging hormones, who is sexualizing all females he comes into contact with so this is a common phenonomen, desiring one's cousin but that doesn't necessarily make it 'right' in his family and the values/standards they uphold.. A lot of people don't care if it's illegal or not-the idea of cousin having a sexual relationship would turn a lot of families upside down...and then-some families may not care. You need to use more thought to what you were saying to this young man instead of trying to prove a point to the other Aunt who commented that cousin relationships are illegal. Your final comments:

"However, at your age sex is illegal just about everywhere in the civilised world, and you shouldn't even be thinking about it yet. Concentrate on your schoolwork for the next few years instead, it'll do you far more good than applying your energies to this sort of thing."

That last bit of insightful, mature wisdom was great. Hopefully the young man takes note of that...because that is what applied to his situation.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007):

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. In the UK, cousin marriage is NOT regarded as incest, even 1st cousins. In some states of the US cousin marriage is legal, in others it's legal in certain circumstances and in others it's illegal.

You can find out which category you fall into by 'googling' 'Cousin Marriage in the USA', and you should come across a website giving all the details of where it's legal and where it's not. It's all according to where you live.

However, at your age sex is illegal just about everywhere in the civilised world, and you shouldn't even be thinking about it yet.

Concentrate on your schoolwork for the next few years instead, it'll do you far more good than applying your energies to this sort of thing.

Phil

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007):

1, you are far too young for sex at 10-12

2, she is your cousin and its incest

3, she may not feel the same way.

she might feel offended. none of you are ready for sex at your age and you shouldnt be having sex with a family member. dont ruin your relationship with your cousin. stay friends and dont ask her. x

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A female reader, kit_e_kat United Kingdom +, writes (14 October 2007):

kit_e_kat agony auntFor one incest is illegal and not only that if you did have sex with your cousin, think about what might happen next, your families find out and that won't be good. Then even if you two did make it there are biological problems that occurr when two blood relatives have offspring. Personally i think you might have to visit yor school counsellor, don't go to your parents first but you need to tell some form of trustworthy doctor. If you feel you have these urges for your cousin you need to see a proffessional about this. Your cousin probably doesn't feel this way about you she probably just wants to be good friends with a member of her FAMILY, she probably likes you like a brother, nothing more, girls often are interested in a man just to be friends where as men take this the wrong way nearly every single time and mess things up in their relatinships. You are too young to be thinking this, have you even reached puberty yet? i think you should research about sex and especially incest to educate you as to why it is wrong. I don't know what the age limit for legal sex is in your country but it should be at 16 years old, so it's illegal to have sex with anyone at your age especially your cousin. The phase should pass but if the question carrys on going through your mind then you need to see a proffessional psychiatrist about it at once.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007):

ok mate.

I think your a little bit confused about your feelings here. I mean, your 10-12, so you probably havent even LEARNT about sex yet, you are definately too young to be thinking about DOING IT! As for your cousin, i doubt she feels the same way, she is a family member and if this activity goes on, it could damage peoples feelings. The best thing for you to do is to let the phase pass and focus on other girls.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007):

You can't have sex with your cousin it's incest. Don't ask her to have sex with you and don't think about her in that way. Imagine if she told her parents that you asked her. What would your family say? And you're so young it shouldn't even be on your mind. There are millions of other girls out there who aren't related to you. Wait for one of them and until your so much older.

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A female reader, Gemini1506 United Kingdom +, writes (14 October 2007):

right theres nothing illegal bout that but do you really wana jeopardise your relationship

its quite doubtful she will feel the same so i say just ignore your feelings

or concentrate them on someone else (that aint a family memember)

if your 10-12 aint you a bit young for sex, trust me SLOW DOWN

best of luck

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