A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and all of a sudden he wanted space, so i moved out. Two weeks later he said that it was best that we weren't together. We have an awesome relationship and get along great and talked about the future, marriage, and buying a house together. He also said that, "he doesn't know if he sees me in his future". Did he get scared all of a sudden? I asked him to let me know if we are truely over but he won't give me an answer. I've left him alone to give him some space hope fully so that he will realize something. Does it sound like its over?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 He may have met someone else. Men who back stroke this fast have usually been cheating on you for awhile and realized it's time to pull the plug. Sorry for the sad news but you'll find someone else and be just fine. Take care. xoxox
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Sounds like it may be officially over soon, hon. In reality, it already is. The guy is commit-o-phobia. For three years it was "great". Then, 'somebody' starts talking sbout marriage, a house,....and Presto/Digito, BF is needing "space". Hon, if you want a real marriage and a home, you have to find it with somebody else. Mr. Awesome is not going to do the deal. It is not you. He will never "do the deal", with anyone. I am sorry if it hurts you, but some men are just not "nesters". Save him the embarrassment and save yourself more hurt. Tell him you are not feeling so "committed" anymore,...you need some space of your own, without him. He will probably put on a sentimental "hurt" look, but he will be leaping for joy inside. Get on with your life, and...who knows? Mr. G. Nestor may be waiting right around the corner. In fact, I am sure he is. Best wishes. Tom
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (16 September 2007):
 This guy sounds like he has called it quits already. Maybe it is best that you have no contact with him b/c obviously he needs to figure out what he wants to do with himself. I know it may be hard but you deserve to be with someone who is just as enthusiatic about the relationship as you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): I am sorry to say, and I know this is not want what you want to hear, but this is the problem with living with a man without a commitment of marriage.
You weren't on the same page and you did not even realize it, in effect he had the cow so why would he want the milk?
You are now ready to take your relationship to the next level and he is not there with you....the best and most effective thing you can do at this point is to leave him and have no contact with him.
Let him miss you, let him feel his own passion for you...I know you feel like panicing and feeling like it was something you did to turn him off, but my bet is you didn't you just did not realize that your man was not commited to you. You see love is not a feeling, it is a concious decision that one makes to BE loving to another and to BE worthy of love, this is a verv with action behind it, not just words. It is not in your best interest to run after him and try to reestablish intimacy or regain your foothold on this relationship....he is being distant and for what ever reason, be it scared or not realizing his depth of feelings for you, your pushing him for some kind of answer will only drive him farther away. Show him you are a strong women, secure in yourself and that you can be happy with or without him, and that to be with him and give yourself to him is your CHOICE, and he will respect you fot that, and become even more deeply bonded to you.
Let him go. If he does not come back then he wasn't strong enough to be your man.....Hard Lesson Learned.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (16 September 2007):
It sure looks over, but you never know. How long has it been since you spoke to him? Tell him you need an answer. If it is over, you need to know so you can move on and you deserve an answer.
It is possible that he got scared, but rarely does it happen that the scared person would ask the other to move out after three years. Was the marriage/house discussion recent and was it the first one? Has it been talked about more and more lately? If so, yeah he could be scared because it is actually hitting him, but to all of a sudden kick you out and make a progressive break-up like this is not rational.
Even if you determine that he is scared, this shows that he isn't very good under pressure, what kind of a future do you see? Afterall, it has been great and then all of a sudden this. He doesn't look like who he seemed to be for three years.
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